The feelings that hurt most, the emotions that sting most, are those that are absurd - The longing for impossible things, precisely because they are impossible; nostalgia for what never was; the desire for what could have been; regret over not being someone else; dissatisfaction with the world’s existence. All these half-tones of the soul’s consciousness create in us a painful landscape, an eternal sunset of what we are.
—  Fernando Pessoa

Dear love,
I know you went to sleep a couple of hours ago. And I know I should be sleeping to because I have school in the morning, and I have made a habit out of four hours of sleep. But oh, how the thought of you keeps me up. When I sleep my mind turns blank. A black screen. The televisions turned off. As blank as the skipped question you were not aware of. Dream of me, for I can not dream of you. Dream of me, dream of us, dream of you.

Dear love,
Dream of the future past and present.

Dear love,
Dream like the make believers that can’t get out of bed.

Dear love,
Dream like I am a girl you never met, never saw, never talked to.

Dear love,
Dream like you love me. Like you say you do.

Dear love,
Dream like a promise. So full and so true.

Oh, my dear love,
Dream like its the dream,you dream, to live.

—  Kalysta Ali
These thoughts crawl into my mind like insects that make their way into houses from the smallest cracks they find. One day the house is tidy and bare and the next, the floor and ceiling are covered in mites and spiders.

I confuse the spiders for butterflies. 

Soon, all the feathers will fall out of my pillows and my bed will become a mess. The wooden chairs will rot and the window sills will collect more dust than an abandoned sanctuary that no one even dares to trespass.

These thoughts will become the monster I’ve tried to protect everyone else from; but I’ve been so busy running, I forget that eventually we all burn out and they are catching up to me.

They’re here.
—  I Don’t Want To Say Out loud by Ming D. Liu