Compulsion

How do I explain to you
How sometimes I get stuck on words
And repeat and repeat and repeat
Over and over
Until it feels right
And the words sound perfect

Or how grocery shopping
Sends me into fits of paranoia
Because there’s
Too many people
And I feel like they’re
Watching me

How sometimes I feel crazy
Like you’ll never understand
What’s going on
In my head
And I’m scared
You’ll stop loving me

Because
The doctors tell me I have OCD
And psychosis
But it doesn’t feel right
To tell you that
Because it makes me sound crazy

I want to explain everything going on
And why I have to say
“I love you I love you I love you”
Over and over
Until it feels right
Until the words sound perfect

the feel when you’re wondering whether or not you just had an auditory hallucination or if there’s just something in your apartment you can’t see.

the feel when you convince yourself it’s just something in your apartment you can’t see, but then start freaking out that someone has bugged your apartment and is watching your every move.

psa

wrt tht post abt what psychosis rlly means as opposed to ‘evil person’, HALLUCINATIONS ARE NOT THE ONLY SYMPTOM OF PSYCHOSIS!!!! there are lot more!!!!

psychotic symptoms are split into two main groups, positive and negative symptoms.

positive symptoms = hallucinations and delusions. hallucinations are experiencing sounds, smells, sights, tactile sensations, etc, that aren’t actually there (i.e. seeing humanoid figures made of light/shadow); delusions are strongly held beliefs that are unrealistic and objectively false (i.e. russians are poisoning my water supply)

negative symptoms are a lot more complicated but include a flat/blunted affect, catatonia, social withdrawal, lack of speech, memory impairment, etc, and are often overlooked despite being considered the more debilitating part of psychosis in many cases

the point is: please stop perpetuating the idea that psychosis = hallucinations, not all psychotic ppl experience hallucinations and psychosis is WAY more complicated than just hallucinations. thank u

People are constantly using their experiences with depression and anxiety disorders [alone] to talk over those with different kinds of mental illnesses, and in the same breath are using their mental illness’ lack of psychosis, delusions, paranoia, hallucinations, etc. as bargaining chips to step on top of those who suffer from those elements of mental illness.

Shit like, "I have depression it’s not like I see things!" or "I have social anxiety it’s not like I lose touch with reality." As if we who do see things and do have moments, or lifetimes of experiencing unreality/psychosis don’t deserve the same rights and decency as you who don’t experience psychosis. We aren’t any less deserving of human decency/rights.

People with different mental illnesses struggle with different kinds of oppressions. We are not all the same, and we do not all suffer from the same kinds of oppressions. You who solely suffer from anxiety and depression disorders do not get to have a voice for all people with mental illnesses, because you do not suffer from the same kinds of oppression tactics. 

Also lets not fucking pretend mental illnesses like schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder, and any other mental illness with psychotic elements receives the same kind of acceptance and coverage as more common anxiety and depression disorders. They don’t.

I’m not sorry. 

People with schizophrenia don’t act normal and then suddenly turn into someone else, like a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde act. A schizophrenic has one personality, it’s their perception of their world that splits.
—  Dr Sheri Jacobson

four a.m. identity crisis | a bpd playlist for sleepless nights when you just don’t feel like yourself

the devil and whom? - weatherbox // constant headache - joyce manor // numb, but i still feel it - title fight // the same things happening to me all the time, even in my dreams - teen suicide // degausser - brand new // hum - tigers jaw // a letter - la dispute // kickflips - weatherbox // the boredom is the reason i started swimming, it’s also the reason i started sinking - the front bottoms // violent inside - joyce manor // i can feel a hot one - manchester orchestra

How schizophrenia is shaped by our culture: Americans hear voices as threatening while Indians and Africans claim they are helpful
By Ellie Zolfagharifard, DailyMail

Scientists came to the conclusion after speaking with 60 schizophrenics 20 came from California, 20 from Accra, Ghana and 20 from Chennai, India In America, voices were intrusion and a threat to patient’s private world In India and Africa, the study subjects were not as troubled by the voices. The difference may be down to the fact that Europeans and Americans tend to see themselves as individuals motivated by a sense of self identity. Whereas outside the West, people imagine the mind and self as interwoven with others and defined through relationships.

People suffering from schizophrenia can often hear imaginary voices so terrifying that they are left traumatized.

One American patient described the voices as ‘like torturing people, to take their eye out with a fork, or cut someone’s head and drink their blood.’

A study has now found that these voices can be shaped by culture, with Western cultures experiencing far more disturbing psychotic episodes.

Schizophrenia is a severe brain disorder that can cause people to hear ‘voices’ that other people don’t hear. It affects about one per cent of the global population over the age of 18.

Many people in Western cultures have reported hearing voices claiming other people are reading their minds, controlling their thoughts or plotting to kill them.

In Africa and India, however, these hallucinatory voices appear as harmless and even playful, according to the study by Stanford University in California. 

While there’s no cure for schizophrenia, this study suggests that therapies urging patients to develop relationships with their imaginary voices could prove useful.

As part of the study, Professor Tanya Luhrmann interviewed 60 adults diagnosed with schizophrenia; 20 each in San Mateo, California; Accra, Ghana; and Chennai, India.

Overall, there were 31 women and 29 men with an average age of 34, who were asked about their relationship with the imaginary voices.

While many of the African and Indian subjects registered largely positive experiences with their voices, not one American did.

Instead, the U.S. subjects were more likely to report experiences as violent and hateful.

For instance, they spoke of their voices as a call to battle or war – ‘the warfare of everyone just yelling.’

The Americans mostly did not know who spoke to them and they seemed to have less personal relationships with their voices, according to Professor Luhrmann.

But among the Indians in Chennai, more than half heard voices of kin or family members commanding them to do tasks.

'They talk as if elder people advising younger people,' one subject said. That contrasts to the Americans, only two of whom heard family members.

The Indians also heard fewer threatening voices than the Americans – several heard the voices as playful, as manifesting spirits or magic, and even as entertaining.

Finally, not as many of them described the voices in terms of a medical or psychiatric problem, as all of the Americans did.

In Accra, Ghana, where the culture accepts that disembodied spirits can talk, few subjects described voices in brain disease terms.

When people talked about their voices, 10 of them called the experience predominantly positive; 16 of them reported hearing God audibly. ‘Mostly, the voices are good,’ one participant remarked.

The difference may be down to the fact that Europeans and Americans tend to see themselves as individuals motivated by a sense of self identity, said Professor Luhrmann.

Whereas outside the West, people imagine the mind and self as interwoven with others and defined through relationships.

In America, the voices were an intrusion and a threat to one’s private world – the voices could not be controlled.

However, in India and Africa, the subjects were not as troubled by the voices – they seemed on one level to make sense in a more relational world.

Still, differences existed between the participants in India and Africa; the former’s voice-hearing experience emphasized playfulness and sex, whereas the latter more often involved the voice of God.

'The difference seems to be that the Chennai and Accra participants were more comfortable interpreting their voices as relationships and not as the sign of a violated mind,' the researchers wrote.

The research, Professor Luhrmann observed, suggests that the ‘harsh, violent voices so common in the West may not be an inevitable feature of schizophrenia.’

The findings may be clinically significant, according to the researchers and adds to research that shows specific therapies may alter what patients hear their voices say.

'Our hunch is that the way people think about thinking changes the way they pay attention to the unusual experiences associated with sleep and awareness, and that as a result, people will have different spiritual experiences, as well as different patterns of psychiatric experience,' Professor Luhrmann said.

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People with Psychosis or Schizophrenia are more likely to hurt themselves, NOT other people. If someone tells you they have either of these, do not assume they’re gonna kill you. Support them, because for fuck sake that is what they need because there is nothing scarier then going through hallucinations alone.

hi if you’re brainweird and/or an aesthetic blogger pls reblog this i need to follow more brainweird aesthetic bloggers

i’m especially looking for bloggers who blog about

  • delusions (especially religious delusions)
  • hallucinations (esp. religious)
  • dpdr (depersonalization/derealization)
  • dissociation
  • paranoia
  • intrusive thoughts
  • bfrbs (body-focused repetitive behaviours)

bonus if yr

  • poc
  • lgbtqipa+/mogai
  • qtpoc
  • autistic
  • adhd
  • any combination of the above