Hello friends on Tumblr,
This is my first post. This blog is mainly going to be about my recovery from three mental illnesses: depression, generalized anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder. I’m at a risk of being diagnosed with an another mental disorder.
So, recently, I’ve been suffering from hallucinations and psychosis.
The thing that confuses me, is that I’m hearing voices inside my head (I think it is called pseudohallucination), which is not audible but audible inside my head. Most of the time, I know that I am hallucinating because of my PTSD. However, I’ve been developing voices with personalities, ideas, names, and others… it’s so confusing to me. The voices… they’re always there. They are here from morning to night. I want to give up and just abandon everything.
Sometimes, the voices are extremely real and I don’t know if I am imagining things or actually hearing this… I am so puzzled.
The voices tell me to kill myself, hurt myself, and do stupid things. They’re mean. There are couple good hallucinations, though.
Honestly, I think I have schizophrenia but people say that schizophrenics only hear “real” auditory hallucinaitons, in another words, hearing voices outside of your head. I feel scared every single day with these hallucinations. They are vicious, cruel, and horrifying. My hallucinations are mostly pseudohallucinations, so I might not be schizophrenic, but instead I might have boderline personality disorder. I don’t know. I just want to give up everything.
What is your thought on this?