Solstice is Coming.

7:13 PM on 07/22/14

I just want to write something random that maybe one day my old-enough-to-read-and-understand first born would somehow enjoy reading.

Before I thought it’ll be a one heck of a journey, but I was wrong. It was a roller-coaster-with-no-ending kind of feeling. My throwing up phase started on my 3rd month, everything I put in my mouth would eventually trigger nauseousness. There was once I cried like a baby for straight 30 minutes because of it. I just want it to STOP. I survived this phase.

Now here comes the body changes, my belly got all the stretch marks in the world, I don’t know when did it all started to show since I don’t want to see my body in the mirror. My face got darker and my hair are super dry. My clothes don’t fit anymore and I don’t like those for-mom-to-be outfits. I just wanna tuck in some tee-shirts and leggings. Insecurities filled me. Seeing my friends getting prettier and all and I’m here, just gaining pounds and pounds of weight every single day. I hate weighing scales. But yes, survived again.

My hormones are all bitches. One moment I am emotional and love all thats happening to me and just a split second I would cry because I miss my old life, my old routines, my little adventures, everything that I did before I got pregnant. Everything scares me, my future, my baby’s future, our relationship (w hubby). Ugh. :|

Now that I’m few weeks away from pushing my baby out, I am totally can’t wait for the next stage of this journey. I am grateful bc my hubby gave all his effort to show that he supports me and my craziness. Srsly, I wouldn’t be able to survive without him. He makes me feel loved and well taken care off. He’s super excited to see his mini-me. I really do hope he got his father’s eyes. :’)

It was nonetheless an epic adventure.