Those of you who stay skinny and cute and small even when you’re super pregnant, can kiss my ass. I am so freaking jealous right now. Why did I have to have that damn eating disorder before I got pregnant? If I had just been healthy before, I wouldn’t have ballooned up like this. I see pregnant women with big round bellies but the rest of their bodies are tiny, and it makes me feel shame over my body. They gain like 30 pounds their entire pregnancy and I’ve LITERALLY gained 100. I want this child out of me now. I want to look at him and be reminded of how it’s all worth it because right now I just feel like a house and it makes me want to cry. I feel hideous. Ugh. I’m ready to go on a diet. I’m ready to breastfeed and take this weight off. I’m so fucking done being pregnant. I hate it. It doesn’t feel magical anymore. I just feel miserable. Sorry for the bitching, guys. :/ Just one of those days I guess.

Shawn Mendes | Pregnancy Imagine | Part 1 |

How can this be? You tried it once without a condom and straight up you fall pregnant. You get a sickening feeling in your stomach and all you can do is cry. You have to tell him, he deserves to know. You get to your feet once more and place your hands over your stomach, thinking of everything that will happen if you go through with this pregnancy. How will he react? Will he be upset? Will he leave you? All these thoughts go through your head, which only make you cry even more. What is your mum going to say? You’re only sixteen years old and you’re pregnant. Suddenly you feel like a slut and you feel insecure. What are all your friends going to think? Will they stick around like true friends or will they leave you and talk shit about you behind your back? 

You finally gather the strength to pick up your phone and dial Shawn’s number. He loves you. You love him. You just hope to god that he doesn’t react like the way you’re fearing. 

"Hey babe, how are you?" He asks, as soon as he answers. You sob loudly and you hear him panic.

"(Y/N) what’s going on? Are you okay?" He asks frantically.

"Shawn, can you be at my house in five minutes? We need to talk. It’s important." You say, it sounds like he hung up, but then you hear him sigh.

"I don’t want to come around if you’re gonna say we need to break up. I don’t want to hear those words come out of your mouth, ever." He states. You chuckle a bit, but then a shaky breath comes out.

"No that’s not it. Just please come around." You say. He agrees and says that he will be there soon. You pace back and forth running your fingers over the skin on your stomach. There is a growing human inside of you. You remember the movie Juno where they said the baby has fingernails and you cringe. Ew, that’s wicked. 

The doorbell rings and you quickly open it, bringing Shawn into your arms as soon as you see his perfect face. He wraps his arms around you and lifts you up off of the ground. 

"(Y/N) what’s happened?" He asks. You tell him to sit down and you let out a heavy sigh. How do you put it in to words? You’re gonna be a dad, guess we should have used a condom. No, that is terrible. Think of something else, dude.

"Shawn…I…" You go to say, but then you see his gorgeous eyes and you burst into tears again. He wipes away the tears and urges you to go on. 

"Shawn, i’m…I’m pregnant." You say, it’s barely a whisper. His face goes pale and his eyes widen. 

"I’m…I’m gonna be a dad?" He asks, when you nod he runs his hands through his hair and surprisingly a smile creeps on his face and he tackles you onto the sofa, kissing you everywhere and then finally catching your lips. 

"We’re gonna be parents!" He cheers and spins you around. Is this really happening? Is Shawn actually this excited? A massive grin spreads across your face and you kiss him repeatedly. But then you realise something. Something really important. You have to tell your parents. 

"What’s the matter?" He asks, worried.

"How am i gonna tell my mum and dad?!" You ask in a loud tone and break into sobs again. You cover your face with your hands and sob things into your palms. 

"They’re not gonna let me see you ever again." 
You mumble into your hands and he rubs your back, before taking your hands away from your face and wiping the tears away. He kisses your forehead and then whispers.

"(Y/N), You’re not alone in this situation. I’m in it too. I’m responsible for this. I made you pregnant. I will not let you go through with this alone. I will be here through thick and thin, fights and make ups, laughs and cries. I’m never, ever going to leave you alone. I love you so much, (Y/N)"

____________

Let me know what you all think.

A long and painful 2hour scan, but all was worth it. 💕 our little bug is cooking well as far as they could see, we struggled with the scan because my uterus is so far back it was causing loads of issues. Ended up with an internal scan. I cried, and panicked, but all is worth it.

Under yet another consultant now too, extra and early scans. Still yet to confirm a few details we need to know but we will soon get there. 👶❤️👣

momma0wl asked:

To first time moms, especially: Do you recommend getting maternity photos? And for those who didn't get any, do you regret it?

I didn’t get maternity photos and I do not regret it. I have a pretty decent camera and took plenty of photos throughout my pregnancy. I’m sure it would be nice to have the maternity pictures but I was so preoccupied with everything else I just never got around to it.

We did, however, get newborn photos of our baby girl done and I am so glad we did. I know I would have regret not doing those.

-B

The little guy enjoying black friday shopping with mummy. Obviously we avoided the mad rush times and went when the shops were dead. We still got up at half 5 to go though which was 4 hours earlier than little guy normally wakes up! Can’t believe how well behaved he was considering he was absolutely shattered. And we didn’t leave the shops until 11.30am from 7.30am!! He was such a perfect angel and passed out as soon as we got in the car! Definitely the best behaved baby ever!! Xx

While I don’t feel comfortable with the origins of this holiday, I’m choosing to celebrate it as a day of thankfulness for all that I have. I have a loving and supporting family, and I am so grateful for them as well as the family I married into. I’m thankful to have a roof over my head and food in my belly. I was homeless a little over a year ago, so it’s something I try not to take for granted. I am thankful for my sobriety. I am thankful for the child in my womb for saving my life and bringing me so much joy already. I am thankful for my friends, who still care so much about me even after all the things I’ve said and done over the years. Most of all, I am thankful and grateful for my amazing husband. He’s my rock, my best friend, and the most lovely person I know. He’s stuck by me through my worst and and has celebrated me at my best. There’s no one I’d rather spend the holiday season with. I am so grateful and excited to be the mother of his child. My heart is aching because I miss my mom and my family out of state, but I’m thankful that they are warm and happy and together with each other for the holidays. While I’m enjoying my holiday feast, I’m thinking of them and praying for them. I love you all so much.

I started having painful contractions and they kept getting stronger and closer together so I eventually went into L&D. My contractions we’re happening every 1 to 4 minutes and I was 2 cm dilated. But that’s still early labor so my OB told them to give me a pill to take the edge off/help me get some rest and to send me home to watch it.

So I’m on my way home! I’m still feeling painful contractions very frequently but I’m sure once the pill kicks in it will help. I’m hoping to get some sleep and then I’ll see what’s going on. If my contractions get to the point where they’re absolutely unbearable, I’ll go back in. And if they don’t progress/ eventually fade away then it was false labor! They said that if I come back in and I dilated to 3 cm they’ll keep me and start the labor process! They just need to see a change in my cervix. So now it’s just a waiting game. We shall see!