Hello strangers!

It’s been ages since I’ve been on this blog, but I’m finally back! And I’ve come bearing some exciting news (obviously)…

My boyfriend and I are expecting a little one in February 2015 :) I had created a side blog for the time being as the news wasn’t out yet, but now that our families know I figured it was safe to share the news :)

Prayers/Energy/Vibes Please?

Hey, guys! As you guys probably know, I’m 38 weeks pregnant (that’s out of a 40 week gestation period, my friends who may not be aware). What you don’t know is that my baby is currently in a breech position — which is just no good for those of us interested in a natural birth plan. By the way, only 3-4% of babes are breech (head not down in the birth canal) by week 37…so it’s sort of a raw deal.

We tried all kinds of things to encourage her to flip on her own. Weird stuff like swimming, handstands, underwater somersaults, yoga positions, peppermint oil, flashlight enticement, cold packs on my upper abdomen, playing music down by my junk — you name it! She just ain’t budgin’. 

We have a procedure scheduled this week called an “external cephalic version,” where doctors will try to turn her by manipulating her position from outside my belly. It’s kind of a last attempt for avoiding having to have a C-section. C-sections aren’t the devil, but they do have way more risks than a natural, intervention-free birth.

Could you please say a prayer, make a wish, send a vibe, and/or throw out some positive energy for us? I would appreciate it so much.

Thank you, everyone!!

I am so appalled and disgusted and sad right now. I read an article about a woman who lives in my city, who went to my school, whose sister was my friend in middle school…three days after giving birth to her daughter, she threw her in her neighbor’s garbage can! The baby hadn’t been fed since birth. She threw her in the trash, then went to work! Her baby is in critical condition, and this whole thing is breaking my heart. I can’t even imagine the mentality one must be in to do something like this. In Utah, there is a law that allows mothers to anonymously give up custodial rights to their child if they take the baby to a hospital within three days of giving birth. Why didn’t she do that??

I don’t understand how a person can grow a child for nine months, then go through the agony of bringing that child into the world, take the child home , then not feed them just to throw the child in the trash can and go on with their day like nothing happened!! Where is the family of this girl? Did they know she was pregnant? That she had given birth? Why did no one check on her and recognize her state of mind or that her baby was being neglected?? HOW DID NO ONE KNOW??? Why wouldn’t she take the baby to a hospital, or give the baby to a family who could love her and take care of her? How could she just throw her away??? I am sickened and so confused about how anyone could be like that. I don’t understand. I’m not sure I want to. Ugh.

Pray for that baby girl. Pray they can save her life and give her to a good family.


I’ve been fasting since 7:00pm. It’s now 8:50am. Twice I dreamt I was eating and would be in trouble with the doctor’s office, but no, nothing by mouth since before bed. It always takes me a while to get hungry in the morning, so I don’t care about the no-food, but I swear I would lick. the dew. off the grass. at the dog park. right about now. Sho firshty.

My fasting blood draw goes fine, though I have to say, the nurses never acknowledge how goddamn brave I’m being, and I’m being so brave

Hello again, Glucola, you wretched… Bleah, it’s so gross, and this time I have to drink the whole bottle. The internet tells me that 28 jelly beans have the same amount of glucose as a bottle of Glucola, but no, big pharma would never stand for letting a nice pregnant lady have an early Halloween.

I settle in the waiting alcove next to the lab and rip the band-aid off the inside of my left elbow. I’m already sporting a little bruise. 

The sugar is coating my insides, and my head starts to ache almost immediately. I am not Tolerating the Glucose very well. Bodes poorly for the results of the Glucose Tolerance Test. I sit and watch people for an hour:

-A woman who weighs at least 400 pounds. (I send up a little prayer of gratitude for the nature and severity of my eating disorder.) 
-A man who puts his hand lovingly on his partner’s swollen belly and leans his head on her shoulder. (I look away quickly, blinking.)
-A gaggle of gynecologists. (I resist the urge to shout, “DR. KINDERGARTEN TEACHER, IT’S ME, AMY. WILL YOU PLEASE DELIVER MY BABIES BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, K THANKS.)

Second blood draw, other arm. So brave. Back to the alcove. I try to read my book, but I can’t seem to concentrate. Too groggy. I’m not even allowed to rinse my mouth with water. Fascists.

Third blood draw (more bravery). I say, “Yes! Only one more.”

The nurse says, “You hungry?”

I tell her no but I want some water so bad. She says she can give me some after the fourth draw. “I have juice too,” she says.

"Noooooo thank you." I don’t ever want sugar again.

Fourth draw, she tries my right arm again and gets nothing so has to pull a third vial from the left—that’s FIVE POKES for those of you keeping track at home (World’s Bravest)—then hands me a bottle of water. I guzzle the whole thing, just standing there, then head to Whole Foods and get a big salad with egg and fish. Even afterward, my brain is still wheezing, and the underside of my skin feels… just wrong. I stagger home and pass out for 2 1/2 hours.

When I wake up, my stomach is so blargy, and I mope so hard. I’m reminded of how depressed I was during my first trimester. Gut-mood connection: I’m telling you, it’s a for-real thing.


I’m sure I’ve failed the test. First, there’s the grossness. The only way I can explain it is, when I eat sugar, I feel like I’ve been poisoned.

Second, there’s the excess amniotic fluid, a telltale sign.

And then of course, I’m having twins. A nurse from my insurance company calls me to check in. I tell her I took the GTT the day before and I’m awaiting results. “The placenta blocks insulin,” she explains. “That’s why people get gestational diabetes.”

"So, since I have two placentas…?" I say.

"Exactly," she says, "more insulin is blocked."

I spend the weekend coming to terms with my very likely diagnosis.

Probably not a good time, emotionally, to read 20 pages of medical problems common in babies with Down syndrome, but I do it, and cry.


Monday morning, I don’t want to wait for the clinic to call, so I get online and check my results. My fasting and 3-hour numbers are fine, but my 1- and 2-hours are over. Two strikes, I’m out.

I have gestational goddamn diabetes.


What, did you think something would go well, gestationally-speaking, for Mama Happy Pants? Silly reader.

I would say motherfuckers better watch out, but I’m real scared about pricking my own finger, so I’m just gonna sit here and rock myself for awhile. Call me William Wallace.


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anonymous said:

Imagine Kenma's reaction when their partner asks about having kids and he looks at them with a deadpanned look 'We already have 3 tamagotchi's and wii petz...'

[Pffft, what about their kids on SIMS though..]

It might take Kenma a while to agree to having a child, because he would be very well aware of the fact that he wasn’t necessarily the most affectionate and social person, compared to others. He would remember how long it would have taken him to feel comfortable enough with his partner in order to share his feelings freely with them and the thought of having a child of his own might even make him feel a little helpless, due to all the responsibilities coming with the child.

Study Calls into Question Link Between Prenatal Antidepressant Exposure and Autism Risk

Read the full article Study Calls into Question Link Between Prenatal Antidepressant Exposure and Autism Risk at NeuroscienceNews.com.

Previously reported autism risk appears to be attributable to mother’s illness, not medication.

The research is in Molecular Psychiatry. (full access paywall)

Research: “Prenatal antidepressant exposure is associated with risk for attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder but not autism spectrum disorder in a large health system” by C C Clements, V M Castro, S R Blumenthal, H R Rosenfield, S N Murphy, M Fava, J L Erb, S E Churchill, A J Kaimal, A E Doyle, E B Robinson, J W Smoller, I S Kohane and R H Perlis in Molecular Psychiatry. doi:10.1038/mp.2014.90

Image: The children’s information was paired with that of their mothers, noting any factors related to the diagnosis and treatment of major depression or other mental illness, including prescriptions for antidepressants and other psychotropic drugs. The image is for illustrative purposes only. Credit NDAR/NIH.

Today is the day!!!

Gotta be at the hospital tonight at 7:30pm for my induction.

Nervous and excited all at once. It’s making my stomach hurt-lol!

I made the mistake of looking up info about the drug they’re giving me (cytotec), and it freaked me out a bit. I did find a lot of positives about it, too. It’s basically a pill they insert in your cervix to help thin and prepare you for labor. Usually Pitocin is used along with it as well. I just really hope I don’t spend forever in labor and end up needing a c-section anyways. They warned me that I might because I wasn’t progressed at all at my last appointment, and because she is a larger baby (between 8.15 and 9lbs). They also worry about shoulder dystocia if I deliver vaginally. 

Oh, and as of my last doctors visit, she was in posterior, or sunny side up position. Which apparently can be bad for me and her. Nothing too drastic, just a longer labor, chance of tearing and chance of her having to go to the NICU for a bit. I’m hoping she’s turned by now but I’m not sure. They can turn her, but I hear it’s painful. But, whatever works! 

But anyway, I’m 12 hours away from being admitted right now! I have so much to do, even though I should probably have slept in more. I just have a lot of things to finish up before we leave later.

Wish me luck!!!!!