Conquering The Inevitable
Today is one of those “I don’t know” days. I couldn’t seem to breathe, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t think— couldn’t decide whether to keep walking or keep hurting. People try to get their shit together— fake their smiles, act strong while keeping tears out of their eyes.
It started out seamless until one day, it felt like it was just another waste of time— it’s not like what it used to be anymore. Things would’ve been so close to perfection, but, decreasingly, love is nowhere to be found. It became anger and rage instead; to the extent that it was drastic and dragging. One cannot decide for herself, while the other doesn’t have the willingness to forgive. Both had fun times, both contest to every silly argument, both were hurt, but— only the other experienced the worst and understood. That’s what every breathing human being would’ve done in the first place for they were in love, at least she thought she was. But, in the end, it only depicts selfishness and dishonesty. We tend to be selfless once in a while until tables are turned and you both can’t live in perfect bliss anymore.
No matter how hard you try to undo your mistakes, there are certain things in life that would much rather remain unfixed. Even if we try to exert our best efforts to prove to our significant others how much we are willing to sacrifice— they wouldn’t take it. Because they don’t want it.
People don’t just give up on someone that they love, but, at some point they have to— when it’s their only choice. Sometimes, we have to let go of people who doesn’t want us to be part of their lives. It’s already given that it will hurt like hell, however, we can’t do anything about it; We cannot force ourselves to be in someone else’s life if they do not want us to be there. We just gotta accept the fact that some things are not meant to be together— especially when you almost always end up hurting each other. We need to learn how to let go and move on because life doesn’t end here, we would just eventually become stronger.
Always remember that life wouldn’t have knocked you twice, if you didn’t let it. Greater things are yet to come. Let life lead us where we’re supposed to be and in the end, it wouldn’t matter anymore— for every person in this cruel world deserves true love and happiness.
There’s something that’s holding me back— couldn’t figure out what it is till now. Maybe it’s the unforgettable moments and happy memories that I will treasure my entire life— that’s what’s keeping me from moving forward. I don’t know anymore. I don’t want to think. Thinking kills me inside. All I know is I accept him for who he is and if I could turn back time, I would.
I’m holding on to something worthless, but, I love him regardless. It kind of makes me stupid, indeed. But, then again who’s perfect? We opt to act stupid for love oftentimes.
The thing is, I know. I just don’t want to know and I wish I didn’t know.