"You're not polyamorous if you're single/only with one person..."


Polyamory is a relationship type preference that means someone is open to romantic/sexual relationships with multiple people.

Your favorite color doesn’t change just because you wear an outfit that’s a different color. Bisexual people don’t become hetero/homosexual when they date someone.

"Polyamorous" means you see love a bit differently. That doesn’t change when your relationship status changes.

Monogamy was first introduced to the world in 1999 when Britney Spears asked her childhood friend, Justin Timberlake, to be romantically involved with her exclusively. This experimental relationship lasted until 2002 and ultimately inspired Timberlake to commit to monogamy for a lifetime with his wife, Jessica Biel. Since its inception, monogamy has become one of the most popular forms of romantic involvement in the world and is considered a prerequisite for reproduction in many cultures.

Two Kenyan men have signed an agreement to “marry” the same woman, reports say.

The woman had been having affairs with both men for more than four years and apparently refused to choose between them.

The agreement sets out a rota for Sylvester Mwendwa and Elijah Kimani to stay in her house and states they will both help raise any children she bears.

Lawyers said their “marriage” would be legally recognised if they could prove polyandry was part of their custom.

Mr Mwendwa and Mr Kimani drafted the agreement after realising they had both been having an affair with the woman in Mombasa County for more than four years, the local Daily Nation newspaper reports.

Community policing officer Adhalah Abdulrahman persuaded the two men to marry the woman after he saw them fighting over her, it reports.

"We have agreed that from today we will not threaten or have jealous feelings because of our wife, who says she’s not ready to let go of any of us," the agreement says, Kenya’s NTV station reports.

"Each one will respect the day set aside for him. We agree to love each other and live peacefully. No-one has forced us to make this agreement," it adds.

Mr Mwenda said her parents had given their blessing, while he is planning to pay the bride price.

The woman, a widow with two children, did not want to be named.

Kenyan family lawyer Judy Thongori told the Daily Nation that the law does not explicitly forbid polyandry - a woman having more than one husband.

"The laws we have do not talk about it but for such a union to be recognised in Kenya, it has to be either under the statutory law or as customary marriage. The question we should ask now is whether these people come from communities that have been practising polyandry," she is quoted as saying.

Polygamous marriages often take place in Kenya, but wife-sharing is unheard of, correspondents say.


Nothing like a little bit of polyandry, and a case of a woman having her caking and eating it too, to put a smile on my face.

A little sad the woman wasn’t named in the article as I’d like to recognize her as a personal hero and for making women’s month on this blog a little more exciting.

"Well if you do break up, you'll have backup partners!"


That’s not the way it works. I don’t have multiple partners as backups. They’re people, not phones. 

That’s like saying it’s ok if things go badly between you and your best friend because “you have backup friends!”

It’s a monogamous way of looking at polyamory. I love different people in different ways, but I love all of them for who they are. They’re unique people. They’re not clones of each other.


Freestyle Friday: FemDom

  1. The possibly one of the most social viverrids (which really isn’t saying much), lady binturongs (Arctictis binturong) are the dominant partner when paired up, in both size and attitude.[x]
  2. Spotted hyenas (Crocuta crocuta) are the first mammal that comes to mind, their female favoring hierarchy that starts straight out of the womb and ambiguous external genitalia are common knowledge.  [x]
  3. The pint sized dwarf mongoose (Helogale parvula) society is similar to their meerkat cousins. The dominant female of the group of anywhere from 12-15 is the one that calls the shots and has exclusive breeding rights.[x]
  4. Another famously matriarchial mammal, the female African elephant (Loxodonta africana) lives in a cow led and nearly cow only herd, young male offspring don’t tend to stick around once they can fend for themselves. [x]
  5. The New Mexico whiptail (Cnemidophorus neomexicanus) takes it one step further, getting rid of males altogether. The reproduce via parthenogenesis, so it’s always ladies night. Despite not needing males, they need a bit of hot lesbian lizard on lizard mock mating (as seen here) to stimulate egg production. [x]
  6. Aggressively defending her territory, the polyandrous pheasant tailed jacana (Hydrophasianus chirurgus) leaves the tending of eggs to her mates.  [x
  7. Far more vividly colored than the green males, the red and blue of the eclectus parrot (Eclectus roratus) hen is both a “hello boys I am here” signal and “watch out ladies this is my nest” warning they will violently enforce. Cocks blend into the forest’s colors since they forage far and wide for food, while hens stay at home pampered and happily accept food offerings from sugar daddies that might not be their offspring’s father when hubby is out. Wiki says that they are polygynandrous, though males are less than pleased when they see other males at her doorstep [x]
  8. The female emu (Dromaius novaehollandiae) has no time for caring for her eggs, which is the male’s job.  She is the one who woos her mate with sweet moves and deep baritone booming, and fights rival females for them. After laying, she struts off into the sunset to find another man to seduce.
  9. European honey bee (Apis mellifera) queens. Eusocial animals are stuff of legends, you can’t get much better than a queen. A huge chunk of arthropod species have larger and longer lived females compared to males, far more than mammals. [x]

This is a teeny tiny minuscule list, species chosen mostly had to do with picture quality/consistency!


Northern or Single-Wattled Cassowary - Casuarius unappendiculatus

Cassowaries are one of the ratites - large, (generally) flightless birds. They inhabit the dense rainforests of Papua New Guinea, surrounding islands, and a small area of old-growth rainforest in Australia.

Unlike most birds, cassowary females are far more territorial than the males. Females will viciously attack any female who attempts to encroach into her territory, which can span several “satellite” male territories. During mating season, females will mate with one male, lay her eggs in his nest, and leave for the next male in her territory. In addition to the high energy output of laying the eggs (third-largest of all the birds), this polyandrous behavior allows the female to continue to control her territory while still passing on her genes.

The male both incubates the eggs and cares for the chicks when they hatch, and is much more aggressive than normal when the chicks are young, having even been seen keeping the females away from the nest area.

Cassowaries are one of the few birds that has killed humans outright - though attacks are uncommon, due to their rather secluded habitat, a boy named Philip McClean was killed in 1928, when a cassowary kicked him after he tripped and fell, severing his carotid artery. The bird had been chasing him because he and his brother had decided to try and kill it with clubs after finding it on their property, and probably wouldn’t have touched them if they hadn’t been beating it over the head.

Transactions of the Scientific Meetings of the Zoological Society of London. 1901.

Poly laws based off state

So I found the break down of how “legal” Poly relationships are per state. These are ordered from best states to worst.

Also this pertains to just poly in all forms, NOT to bigamy which is a felony in most states. Bigamy is the act of legally being married to more then one person either through common law marriage or forged paperwork. Poly is considered illegal in most states due to common law marriage.

First for those who haven’t heard thanks to the “Sister Wives” family. Polygamy is decriminalized in Utah. This doesn’t mean it is legal it just means they are not considering it a crime but you can still be charge with it.

Next these are the states where Poly is any form between consenting adults is more likely to be legalized. These states have no “common law marriages” so it gets rid of bigamy since there is no way to be married to more then one person unless you forge paperwork to. There are no laws in these states against adultery, co-habitation or fornication

  • California
  • Hawaii
  • Nevada
  • Oregon
  • Washington

These states have laws against adultery but not against fornication, co-habitation and they also do not have common law marriage. But in these states adultery is only considered a crime if the spouse files charges.

  • Connecticut
  • Delaware
  • Indiana
  • Kentucky
  • Louisiana
  • Maine
  • Maryland
  • Missouri
  • New Jersey
  • Ohio
  • South Dakota
  • Tennessee
  • Texas (Texas does recognize common-law marriages, but apparently only if they are registered with the county clerk)
  • Vermont

In the following states adultery and fornication is a misdemeanor requiring a fine to be paid if you are found guilty  

  • Arizona
  • Georgia
  • Illinois
  • Michigan
  • Minnesota
  • New Hampshire (New Hampshire recognizes common-law marriages, but only for inheritance purposes after death)
  • New Mexico
  • New York
  • North Dakota

These states have laws against co-habitation between persons.

  • Alabama
  • Alaska
  • Arkansas
  • Florida
  • Massachusetts
  • Mississippi
  • Nebraska
  • North Carolina
  • South Carolina
  • Virginia
  • West Virginia
  • Wyoming

And finally these states have common law marriages and consider adultery a felony, meaning at any time if you are to be be found to be co-habiting or sleeping with someone who is not your spouse you could be jailed or fined.

  • Colorado
  • Idaho
  • Iowa
  • Kansas
  • Montana
  • Oklahoma
  • Pennsylvania
  • Rhode Island
  • Utah
  • Washington D.C.
  • Wisconsin

All this information was found at http://usmarriagelaws.com/search/united_states/polygamy/

maybe this can help a few people. Of course if you face any legal action never hesitate to contact a lawyer.


i saw a photo on my dash that went along the theme of “my other [heart] half” and i realized i could use the same concept to suggest how polyamory works, cause many always ask how its possible to love more than one person and the common spits are “the same way a parent can love all their children” and “love is infinite” which are pretty good. i just thought extending the puzzle metaphor would be a nice visual. some of us have slots for more than one piece :]


Are Five Husbands Better Than One?

Anthropologist Kimber McKay challenges our culture’s definition of marriage by sharing stories from her field work in Nepal’s northwestern Himalayan district of Humla. Kimber is a cultural anthropologist who has studied marriage and family systems in Nepal, East Africa and Central America for 20 years. Kimber works with graduate and undergraduate students at the University of Montana to integrate anthropological research into the international development field. In her research in the Nepalese Himalaya she has worked with ethnic Tibetans since 1994, intermittently living with these yak herding, subsistence farming, polyandrous people before, during and since Nepal’s Maoist insurrection.


I genuinely enjoyed watching this. Certainly makes you think about how you define marriage and encourages you to question the “why?”


Ever Wondered If Women Kept Multiple Husbands?

Here you see the five Pandava princes- heroes of the epic Mahabharata - with their shared wife-in-common named Draupadi (although some had their own wives too). Vishnu, incarnated as Krishna , was advisor and their charioteer in battle. The central figure is Yudhishthira ; the two to his left are Bhima and Arjuna . Nakula and Sahadeva , the twins, are to his right. Their wife, at far right, is Draupadi . These heroes are themselves incarnations: Yudhishthira manifests Dharma, the Sacred Order of Life. Bhima represents the Wind God, Vayu. Arjuna is Indra. Nakula and Sahadeva incarnate the twin “Horseman Gods” (The Greek Dioscuri). Draupadi is Indrani , the queen of the gods and wife of Indra- a very old Vedic (Pre-Hindu) god.

Source: Vaticanus on Flickr

To read more about Polyandry:

Stanford article


Definition by Merriam Webster

Mormon Polyandry