I’d prefer if people didn’t reblog this but it’s important to me to point this out.
Someone being a shitty person and friend is not the same as someone being abusive and if you frame what is clearly personal issues among you and your (ex)friend as an abuse call out you should be ashamed of yourself.
If you feel the need to defend yourself against shit talking publicly, go for it. But don’t thrown in accusations of gaslighting when you don’t even know what it means. Don’t say THIS PERSON IS *POTENTIALLY* ABUSIVE. What you’re saying is they’re an asshole but were not abusive, but you’re gonna smear them as MAYBEEE THEY COULD BEEE because then tumblr will flip out and pay attention to you.
Abuse is a serious problem and it’d be cool if people didn’t just use abuse narratives as framing structures to their non abusive relationships to seem more valid about complaining about their obviously fucked up friends. Abuse survivors deal with enough, don’t fucking belittle this shit.
I hesitate to even make this post because i don’t like shitting on the experiences of someone else as invalid. The intent of this post is not to say you should endure any shitty treatment from anyone regardless of if it is abuse or not. Please -if you suspect someone may be abusing you, confide in someone you trust. It can be extremely hard to even understand what you’re going through because of how abusive relationships work. Even if you are not being abused, if someone is treating you like shit, you deserve better.
There’s a lot of unhappy sentiments on here towards LGBTA+ allies for good reason, but honestly a lot of what I see on here about abuse and supporting those who have been abused comes across very similarly to me. I’ve seen people use it publicly to make themselves look better, but in private spaces ignore abuse they were aware of because it was inconvenient and they decided it wasn’t a problem. So i really don’t appreciate seeing posts using abuse narratives for attention when people who are actually abused get ignored and told they deserved what happened to them or are making it up.