The day he said “I hurt sometimes,” she could barely keep herself from saying “I hurt most times.”
The pain that he felt was the kind of pain that everyone felt, the kind of pain this people would feel when their friends left them out or when the guy doesn’t call you back. But the pain that she felt was the kind of pain that overwhelms you. It’s like you’re being suffocated by the darkness, except it’s inside you.
His pain he could escape from, but hers she never could.
—  Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #4, 4am

I’ve witnessed this - when you feel something, it causes every piece of your soul to quake. Your eyes electrify. Your heart trembles and your breath runs away. It’s as if every emotion sends shock waves and light rippling through your veins. Somehow those feelings settle like a tide on the shore, whispering words insufficient to truly describe what’s happening. Words that are spoken anyway, because you’ll keep trying even though you think it’s not quite enough. Trust me; it’s much more than enough. Some words carry hollow air. Yours carried the force of a storm. But they still managed to put me at ease.
The way you felt can’t be described. It can’t be captured. It can’t be repeated. It could only be experienced. Only on that night.
You were a well of emotions that ran deep beneath the earth, but never flooded over.

I always admired that about you.
I wish I could feel something like that.

—  k.a.t
you’re leaving now,
but that’s okay – 
well, no it isn’t,
but it will be.
i’ve learned the hard way that letting go
is sometimes the endgame of falling in love
and that although i love you,
i’ve learned to accept your absence.
i’ve learned to accept that once you’re gone,
a part of me will be missing
and my heart won’t ever feel the same again,
but it’ll be okay.
if i had the choice, 
i swear i’d rather drown than to go on without you;
not a day will go by where i don’t miss you,
but it’ll be okay. 
and i had never met anyone like you before;
you brought out the best parts of me
just to bring out the worst in me,
but it’s okay,
i’ll be okay.
don’t you worry about me,
just don’t forget to remember me
every once in a while;
please don’t erase me from that mind of yours.
just look up at the sky and remember who you are
and be the person you always strived to be;
and then i will be okay. 
and it’s been a beautiful ride, sweetheart,
with a heartbreaking ending,
but it’s okay,
and so long goodbye.
—  it’s okay, i will be okay. - n.h.s [percussionhearts]

Please don’t make me love you,

For I cannot stop once I begin to love.

—  Don’t start a fire if you’re afraid of getting burned
I knew I loved you then.
You were sitting across the table from me during breakfast, stirring sugar into your coffee mug and I smiled. 
Because really how many people get to say that they’ve met the person they want to spend the rest of their Tuesday mornings watching the sunrise with?
I guess what I’m trying to tell you is that I was so lucky to have found you. I have been so lucky to love you, I mean really love you. You have given me the kind of love that doesn’t go away.
You have given me the kind of love that one day, years from now, I will remember during breakfast. I will remember your smile, your ocean blue eyes and the way you laughed at me for not being able to make coffee. I will remember how I asked you what your favorite Beatles song was and how we both said ‘Hey Jude’ at the same time. 
I will remember the sunrises, and the sunset and the first time you kissed me. How the fourth time you kissed me I told you that you tasted like cigarettes. How the world became different with you, how the cars started making noise and I began hearing the laughter of the world with you. How everything in life means more because of you.
—  Everything in Life Means More Because of You / thewordsyouneverunderstood

the first bullet pierces your stomach.
it’s a dull ache
a slow burn
hazes and cloudy visions
and you don’t understand what’s happening.

the second bullet finds your ribs.
it’s sharp, now
you taste blood in your mouth and
beyond your vision and
now you realize, this is it, this is the end, this is where i leave you.

the third bullet, and you still stand
it’s almost cruel now
how godly, how divine you look
pale gold and crimson
a worshipper on his knees.

the fourth bullet cracks your collarbone.
you don’t feel it, now
don’t feel anything at all
and everything begins to fade
but my love, we’re only halfway done.

the fifth bullet doesn’t register its sound in your ears.
you don’t know where it hits
can’t feel anything at all now, except pain
and i wish i could not feel either
and we both ache for the world to go numb.

the sixth bullet lodges in your shoulder
your head bows
and only then do i panic
because for the first time, i realize
i will never see those eyes again.

the seventh bullet, and still no plea for mercy
no whimper, no cry
although i suppose even if you could speak,
you would not beg
and i am madly grateful my voice was the last you heard.

the eighth bullet is barely noticed, finding your heart.
a heart that used to beat with revolution and war
with purity and with passion.
a heart that beat in sync with mine
and finally, love, you are at peace.

—  with eight shots through him /// [t.r.]
Bottomline is, people are going to hurt you
You’ll meet the most selfish people and the most selfless
These selfish people will show you, something about forgiveness
Something about love
And something about yourself.
Never forgive someone because you feel bad
Know the difference between what’s love and what isn’t
And to know that you deserve the damn world and no one should make you think any different
—  I know what I deserve (123 out of 365)

I’ll tell you, shall I, something I remember?
Something that still means a great deal to me.
It was long ago.

A dusty road in summer I remember,
A mountain, and an old house, and a tree
That stood, you know,

Behind the house. An old woman I remember
In a red shawl with a grey cat on her knee
Humming under a tree.

She seemed the oldest thing I can remember.
But then perhaps I was not more than three.
It was long ago.

I dragged on the dusty road, and I remember
How the old woman looked over the fence at me
And seemed to know

How it felt to be three, and called out, I remember
“Do you like bilberries and cream for tea?”
I went under the tree.

And while she hummed, and the cat purred, I remember
How she filled a saucer with berries and cream for me
So long ago.

Such berries and such cream as I remember
I never had seen before, and never see
Today, you know.

And that is almost all I can remember,
The house, the mountain, the gray cat on her knee,
Her red shawl, and the tree,

And the taste of the berries, the feel of the sun I remember,
And the smell of everything that used to be
So long ago,

Till the heat on the road outside again I remember
And how the long dusty road seemed to have for me
No end, you know.

That is the farthest thing I can remember.
It won’t mean much to you. It does to me.
Then I grew up, you see.

—  Eleanor Farjeon

i am the girl that they name hurricanes after
because my brain was never wired to be calm.
there is never peace, only
rolling winds and pouring rain,
deafening thunder and flashing lightning.
loving me is like loving a nightmare.
please, stay away from me–i don’t want to hurt you.
wipe the venom from your lips and erase my taste,
and i’ll forget the way your hands traced me,
like i was a map of places you’ve never been.

you can’t stop a disaster,
but you can hide away before the storm hits.

—  lyric poetry #1: shots, imagine dragons; “i can’t have you and i’m only gonna do you wrong” // a.s.