In Which Kate and I (and occasionally John) Mock and Spoil the hell out of Oz the Great and Powerful
  • Me:Are the credits going to be the best part of this film?
  • Kate:possibly.
  • Me:Well, good, if that's the best we've got, I'm leaving.
  • Kate:Wait, where are you going?
  • Me:I don't remember if I locked my car and I don't care about watching James Franco flirt painfully with the funnel cake girl.
  • ((Car and, more importantly laptop, are still intact))
  • Me:Did I miss the reveal of a million music boxes?
  • Kate:You missed nothing.
  • Me:Damn.
  • ((The movie commences introducing us to the main character. We hate him and want him to die. This feeling never abates.))
  • Me:I'm rooting for the tornado!
  • Kate:Just a reminder: 3D!
  • Me:This scene exists for no reason other than 3D!
  • John:THREEEEEEEEE DEEEEEEEEE!
  • Me:Does anyone care about this sequence because it has been going on for a really long time?
  • Kate:No.
  • John:No.
  • Me:Good. Film making done right.
  • ((Oz in all it's glory))
  • Kate:Clearly, this is Nebraska.
  • John:I was guessing Witch-ita.
  • Kate:(not putting up with puns this early) Nebraska.
  • John:Oooookay.
  • ((Characters, characters, characters, we hate everyone including the monkey but mostly the main character))
  • Me:Can you imagine how much it would hurt to jump into a pile of metal? I mean, seriously. It's METAL. Gold is METAL.
  • Kate:Everyone in this movie is stupid.
  • Clearly-not-evil character:You must kill the wicked witch!
  • Me:She seems legit. We should trust her.
  • Kate:He is bad at witch killing. And he's stupider than Renner.
  • Me:Renner was adorable puppy stupid. This guy is douche dudebro stupid. Big difference.
  • John:Are you trying to replace James Franco with Jeremy Renner?"
  • Kate:Let's face it, we should never see movies that don't involve the Avengers cast.
  • Me:At least we know they can act in front of a green screen. Unlike Woody McConfused up there.
  • ((For the remainder of this, James Franco will be referred to as Not-Renner. Not-Renner finds the wicked witch!))
  • Wicked witch:I am actually good!
  • Not-Renner:Okay!
  • Kate:My god he is stupid.
  • Me:She's blonde. See. Blonde equals good. Dark equals wicked. Duh. Repeat after me, Well, she is blonde.
  • Kate:We could leave now and still make it to Iron Man 3 three towns over.
  • ((Movie makes questionable choices))
  • Me:Remember, everything happens because of a man! There is no other reason that a woman would chose to do anything, other than for a man or because of a man.
  • Kate:Life lessons.
  • Me:I learned that if Marie says a movie is bad, I do not want to see that movie. I should trust her.
  • Kate:This scene would be better with Hansel.
  • Me:Or Gretel. A good head butt would've taken care of things.
  • ((Movie realizes it can only redeem the douchebag Not-Renner only so far, because this is still the guy who hid behind a curtain and tricked a fourteen year old into going to kill a witch, so really, he's still going to be a douchebag in a couple of decades or centuries from now))
  • Me:From a feminist perspective, this is not a good movie.
  • John:From any perspective, it's pretty bad.
  • Kate:How much of this was filmed in front of a green screen?
  • Me:A percentage.
  • Kate:A hundred percent?
  • Me:That's a percent.
  • ((Climactic battle))
  • Me:Did she just cast pick locks?
  • Kate:I hope so, that's a fucking first level spell.
  • Me:(proceed to laugh hard enough to hurt myself)
  • John:It wasn't that funny.
  • Me:It was better than anything this movie has managed.
  • Kate:That one guy up front liked the mooing monkey.
  • Me:That man has issues. Huge issues.
  • Kate:Wow.
  • Me:Wow. Remember, kids! Ugly people are evil! Good people are pretty! And blonde!
  • Kate:Remember to always check her teeth! You can tell a witch by her teeth!
  • Me:Life lessons from Hansel! He slept with the good one!
  • Movie:The end!
  • Me:On a sliding scale with Battleship being the worst and Red Dawn being almost tolerable, where would you put this film?
  • Kate:Above Red Dawn.
  • Me:Are you kidding me? Red Dawn had Chris Hemsworth acting with a script that did not actually deserve any effort. This had Not-Renner and a flying monkey.
  • Kate:We're not seeing anything that doesn't involve an Avengers actor ever again, are we?
Please go see The Boxtrolls!

I couldn’t type about this last night because I got home from the movie at like 12am and I was so exhausted I had to pass out. And much to my dismay when I checked tumblr to see how excited people were about the very important messages in this movie, I found out that someone had started a rumor about how it was trans misogynist.

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Tumblr has already begun spreading rumors about how it is trans misogynist and is making fun of trans people. THIS IS SIMPLY NOT TRUE.

Here’s what happened, though I already reblogged a more detailed post about it, this is the TL;DR version:

The evil villain who pretty much a poor person with ‘ambition’ who decides to step on other people to get to the top to acquire the status symbol of privileged old white guys of the movie, at one point in the movie is revealed to dress in drag as a disguise. He has an alternate persona named Madame Frou Frou who he uses to laud himself for trampling the box trolls and spinning terrible myths about their monstrosity. This Madame Frou Frou is used to sing uncomfortably painful songs about how the boxtrolls are monsters. This is because the leader of the old white privileged dudes HATES the evil bad guy, but he ADORES this Madame Frou Frou. AT THE END OF THE MOVIE, THE EVIL BAD GUY REVEALS HIMSELF TO BE MADAME FROU FROU, AND TEASES POINTEDLY AT THE LEAD OLD WHITE GUY WHO HATES HIM, IN A ‘HAH I GOT YOU’ KIND OF WAY.

Now that is over,

THE REASON YOU SHOULD PLEASE GO SEE THE BOXTROLLS MOVIE:

1. Laika is a small company that is constantly doing wonderful progressive things and should be applauded for it. Please, they do not have the numbers of the big three (dreamworks/disney/pixar) and need to get the cult following NOW, not after the movie has been released on dvd and gone out of theaters.

2. This movie, is, in a nutshell: The absolute best allegory for classism, racism, and mixed heritage families I’ve ever seen. And it’s an animated kids film that I expect lots of kids (and their parents) will go see. The classism and privileged society stuff you see in the story is so spot on, that at times the movie is actually really painful, and heartbreaking to watch. There were times where I was literally uncomfortable and awkward and confused as to why I was? And by the end of the movie I realized that there were actual caricatures of those infuriating people in real life that we try to educate and argue with on a daily basis. I mean, we all know how exhausting it is, and how defensive and nervous you get when privileged people talk about the poor or POC?? I got this same feeling when watching it because they pin point those people so well in this movie and they are not only the villains, but the foils/people who do nothing to help.

3. IT IS LITERALLY JUST SUPER FUN, ADORABLE, HILARIOUS, AND AWESOME TO WATCH. Please, it was so much fun, and when you do go see it, you have to stay till the end of the credits for the best part.

 

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PEOPLE LIKE US || A triumvirate fanmix

"We know it all by heart; the whole is greater than the sum of its parts."

listen // download

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I know that some of you were pretty interested in knowing what was going on during the French Horns premiere in Paris on Sept, 16th, so here is my review. For those of you who are only interested in the movie review, you might want to skip the first part…

Before the screening

I got to the cinema at 10am to meet with my tumblr friend, quiddatively, and a few fans were already waiting as well. We met another girl and obviously the three of us bonded over Daniel’s perfect face everything. They were putting up the barriers for the red carpet. A girl then approached us at noon to warn us that we had to choose between either doing the red carpet or watching the movie (with Daniel and Alexandre Aja presenting it). After spending quite some time delibarating with myself, I finally decided that I would go to the screening instead of the red carpet. I don’t think I could have possibly handled the crowd and the craziness to be honest, so the presentation and the movie seemed like the perfect thing for me. People kept arriving as time went by obviously, and we met two other girls who were there with invitations to attend both the red carpet and the screening since they were working for a french website (they also got the chance to interview Dan). They told me I could have tried to get an invitation as well since I was actually liveblogging the event on Tumblr and ugh I wish I had thought of that. Passers-by were asking us so many questions, and I actually managed to get six people to buy tickets for the movie by pointing out the fact that Daniel Radcliffe was going to be here and that it was a once in a lifetime opportunity (I talked about the movie as well but okay, Dan). The rest of the day was mostly just waiting, talking, laughing, meeting other people. I started freaking out when one of Dan’s bodyguard came to the cinema (probably to check the surroundings and all that). I litteraly started telling people it was one of the bodyguards and they were kind of surprised that I would ever know that kind of thing. But what can I say, I spend a lot of time staring at pictures of Dan and no one can miss the bodyguards, I mean come on guys! I was also really pissed at some point because they kept moving the lines for the people who were only attending the screening, and I was so tired and stressed out and stuff like that that I was just so rude to people and I still hate myself for it. Anyway, we ended up getting in the cinema at around 7:30pm and we were able to watch the red carpet from inside the movie theater (I was really glad I was all comfy in my seat to be honest, just seeing it happen on the big screen made me realize how much I would have freaked out out there). A few more minutes went by, we saw Dan doing the photocall and then… Gosh, I want to cry again as I’m writing this. They introduced the producers (I guess?? I don’t even remember, I wasn’t listening), then Aja walked in, and then Dan was here. He walked past us, he was literally three feet away from us. I remember thinking he was just as tiny as I was, which was actually emphasized by the army of bodyguards surrounding him who were just as tall as a Hemsworth. I started shaking and tearing-up a bit. Or maybe a lot. To be honest, I don’t remember what happened exactly after he walked in. I just kept my eyes on him and I only payed attention to what he was saying. There are no words to truly describe it. He was just there. It wasn’t some kind of dream anymore. The five minutes of presentation went by really quickly and Dan left along with everyone else. He shook hands on his way out and the movie began right when the doors were finally closed. There were still tears in my eyes but either way I was so excited to get to see the movie after waiting all day.

The movie

Okay. Wow. This is by far my favorite movie with Dan. I haven’t seen What If yet, but I don’t think it really matters since Horns and What If are so different from each other and therefore could not really be compared? But to my opinion, this is Dan’s best performance so far. Juno Temple is absolutely stunning as well and I had to actually stop myself from falling in love with her character. She is truly amazing and I’m definitely going to keep an eye on her career from now on. I loved the whole story and its moral and I’m probably going to read the book even though quiddatively told me that a few details were missing from the book and that some scenes had been changed (if you read Horns as well and want to know the differences between the book and the movie, you can always ask me). I had never seen one of Aja’s movies before but I was not disappointed at all. I feel like it’s one of those movies that you can’t just watch once because Aja seems to have thought about everything and it probably needs to be seen at least three times to be able to notice all the details (like this one scene in which Ig is talking to his mother and she’s wearing some kind of snakeskin shirt?? that much detailed). I don’t know if I can tell you which scenes I enjoyed most because I don’t want to reveal any spoilers but god some parts of the movie were absolutely mind blowing. I was just holding on to my seat and if I could have watched it all over again right away, I would have in a heartbeat. It was also really funny at times and the soundtrack includes songs by Marilyn Manson (Personal Jesus), The Pixies (Where is my mind?), Fever Ray (If I had a Heart), and I just can’t stop listening to these songs since I got back. I have to warn you though : it is violent. I do not want to reveal any spoilers but if you ever think about going to see Horns, please note that you’ll be dealing with a rape scene, a lot of snakes, wild fire scenes, sex scenes and nudity, drugs, explosions, and a lot of blood obviously.

To put it in a nutshell, Horns is definitely a must see. Go see it whenever it comes out in your country. Then go see it again. Because hell, it’s that good. 

Okay so whoever leaked these “rumors” about a Bruce/Natasha romance has to be lying because the Clintasha relationship was hinted at in the Avengers and Scarlett even confirmed that she chose to wear the arrow necklace in Captain America: Winter soldier “as a nod to Mr. Jeremy Renner’s Hawkeye” to hint at the personal relationship Black Widow has outside of SHIELD.

Why are Owl City songs always on the credits at movies? I feel weird when everyone else already goes out and I’m just sitting there still like, “Oh, don’t mind me. I’m just gonna sit here until the song ends because this dude here singing is my Idol and this is my jam and oh, yeah, I’m just gonna sing along too.” 

The Film Lover Challenge a.k.a. Couch Potato Challenge. List 15 movies that you love as fast as you can! Then tag 5 humans. Non-humans are okay too.

I was tagged by womaninterrupted.

1. Empire Strikes Back
2. Godfather 2
3. Raiders of the Lost Ark
4. Mary Poppins
5. The Philadelphia Story (The Hepburn version)
6. Caddyshack
7. Reservoir Dogs
8. Moonstruck
9. Cinema Paradiso
10. Blade Runner
11. Bull Durham
12. Return of the King
13. Chariots of Fire
14. Brazil
15. Broadcast News

Tagging whiskeysandwords, shovelbum, texnessa, razadeluna, and whatastitch

the only kind of fanservice I can tolerate for the third movie is naked Quinto Spock waking up with Uhura’s bra straps tangled with his feet.




Tagged (yesterday) by frigginsupernatural

rules: Just insert your answers to the questions below. tag at least 10 followers. 

uh i never got around to this yesterday so i’m doing it now!


name: Caroline

nickname: Smitty (i prefer this)


birthday: January 2nd


gender: female 

sexuality: straight


height: 5’9” or 175 cm


time zone: EST


what time and date is it there:
 September 19th, 4:21 pm

average hours of sleep: 5-7 weeknights, 10+ weekends

otps: none really, i guess destiel counts


the last thing i googled was: radiometric dating


first word that comes to my mind: yellow


what i last said to a family member: Yeah, i have a ride to the game

place that makes me happy and why: this creek in my neighborhood, it’s just really peaceful there and pretty and isolated and awesome

how many blankets i sleep under: 2


favourite beverage: water (ik i’m lame)

the last movie i watched in the cinema was: Guardians of the Galaxy


three things i can’t live without: my dog, marvel movies, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail

something i plan on learning: sign language and german

a piece of advice for all my followers: if you have self-confidence issues, use the “fake it till you make it” mindset. it may take a while, but it works. speaking from experience here.


you have to listen to this song: Ready Aim Fire by Imagine Dragons (if you wanna buy it don’t you have to buy a whole $10 album so just get it off youtube instead)

my blog(s): just this one

uhh i’m tagging:

daftpunkcutie

gay-manuel-de-homo-christ

crescendollz

officialnatasharomanoff

thomas-kun

taywhytetrash

nottoobadwolf

roule-the-world

thombang

lilgaaby

and anybody else that wants to do it too, so yeah!

Oh, look at this, halfway through the year already and I’m still hung-up over the TSN fandom.

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