"I have a minor eating disorder" *shoves food into mouth* please.
alright, let’s talk about that for a minute.
- you’re an asshole
- I say it’s a “minor” eating disorder because I don’t want to offend those who have severe eating disorders because mine hasn’t taken over my entire life like theirs has.
My eating disorder is called restricting. It typically comes from a traumatic event ex. my rape, and develops from a feeling of worthlessness in which you don’t eat because you don’t think you deserve to feed yourself. Aka I don’t eat because I think i’m not worth keeping alive!!!!! I don’t care about my body and my health enough to just eat regularly like most people do!!!!! I typically don’t eat until 6 hours into my day. I spend the mornings drinking water or apple juice to try to sate my painful hunger and nausea that comes from thinking about eating. Then when I finally do eat, I usually only eat one meal a day and that “meal” i usually junk food - aka I’ll eat one burger or a poutine or a bag of chips. that’s it. Sometimes when I try to override my brain and eat a normal meal, typically 4 bites in my brain starts telling my stomach that I’m beyond full and if I take another bite I will throw up. When I try to force it, because I can still feel the hunger pains, I gag on my food. Physically. I gag, with the food in my mouth, and I end up having to spit it out. I spend most days feeling weak and lightheaded because I don’t get enough sustenance and have resorted to eating empty foods with high sugars just to keep my body running.
- When you see me “shoving food into my mouth” it’s usually my one meal a day and it’s always junk food. Also it helps me to try to normalize my eating behaviours and even find it funny so I don’t have to focus on how damn depressing it is that my brain won’t let me eat enough to stay fucking alive.
- Last summer I didn’t eat at all, I lost 15 pounds and on someone who is already 125 and super fucking skinny that’s dangerous as fuck. I have a weak ass immune system and was running on one “meal” every other day and green tea alone. I smoked like a fucking fiend and barely slept. If I had gotten pneumonia, like I do often, I would have had nothing in me to fight it and I could have died.
- I struggle every fucking day with eating and I don’t do it to get attention, I didn’t even know I had an eating disorder until I was talking to my friend (who has a severe ED) one night about how I hadn’t eaten in two days and I wanted to drink a glass of milk to make the hunger pains go away and she told me that was disordery as fuck.
- mind your fucking business.
- you don’t know anything about me and if I choose to play around with MY FUCKING BLOG then I fucking will.
- also there’s a million types of eating disorders ex. overeating is one you stupid ignorant fuck