perl

Steven Universe

What can I say about a show that’s barely started. I never quite seen anything quite like it. I suppose I will start from the beginning.

When I saw the first trailer for the show, where Steven shouted out how awesome his cheeseburger backpack, I was ready to hate it as much as I hate Uncle Grandpa or Almost Naked Animals. I was ready to group it into the category of ‘Shows so lazy they think they found the perfect formula for attracting viewers but it’s just kitschy crap’.

I was ready to absolutely to never give it a chance.

Then one day, after a bit of boredom I saw that I could watch the first episode on demand. I like to watch things before proclaiming my hate, just to make it fair. 

I expected the same old same old. I expected the typical all knowing being to send out powers to a lucky group of random folks- and the girls being predictable warriors, completely suited to their new found magical girl powers. And they’re stuck with Steven, a stupid little boy who of course will save the day forever because he was a walking example of everything good and pure and he was the hero Gotham deserved but never exactly wanted.

That’s what I expected.

That’s not what I got.

Steven was first and foremost a child. He acts as such. He is treated as such. He was born with his Gem and lives with three other ‘Gems’ that are teaching and guiding him on how to use his power properly.

They give him a normal or as close as possible normal life.

They don’t make him or allow him near things dangerous because they know he isn’t ready. Steven wants to help, but at the same time he does what no other child chosen one protagonist ever does.

HE. F*CKING. LISTENS.

He knows he’s not ready! He tries, and he tries, and he knows he’s not there yet. He doesn’t fool himself into thinking he’s a all knowing hero which SPARES us the predictable plot line of where he is forced to humble himself for the sake of properly practicing his craft.

Which is amazing.

It’s hinted that Pearl, Garnet and Amethyst was friends with his mother before she ‘gave up her form’ to have Steven exist. And they’re all taking care of him. They’e taking care of their fallen friends only child. If you don’t think that’s the most beautiful thing, get out of my face.

They don’t force horrible expectations on this kid. They don’t say “You’re going to save the world so get your sh*t together you 10 year old brat” or “Your mom was basically god so get on her level already”

THEY DON’T.

EVEN WHEN THEY NEED TO DEPEND ON HIM THEY DO NOT PUT THAT KIND OF PRESSURE AND GUILT ON THIS CHILD.

THIS SHOW MAKES ME SO FREAKING EMOTIONAL I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF ANYMORE.

Programming Languages: In layman's terms, what are the major programming languages, and what are they used for?

(reposted from this Quora answer because it’s just great)

Programmers have a surprisingly intimate relationship with the programming languages they use. Your programming language will frustrate you, and enlighten you. Over time you will learn your programming language’s inner workings and little quirks. It will get inside your head, too, and change the way your mind works. 

Choose the right programming language and together you will create something new and beautiful. Choose wrongly and things can get very messy indeed.

In other words, choosing a programming language is much like choosing a romantic partner…

(Note: I’m a straight guy. If you’re not, feel free to do a mental find/replace with whatever you’re into).

PHP is your teenage sweetheart, the girl you first awkwardly fumbled around with that one summer. Just don’t try and start a more serious relationship - this girl has serious issues.

Perl is PHP’s older sister. She might be a bit old for you, but she was pretty popular back in the 90s. In a long-term relationship with Larry Wall, so her standards have dropped, and she’s looking seriously fugly now. “I don’t care what y’all say, I still love her!”, he says. No-one else does.

Ruby is the cool kid of the scripting family. When you first saw her, she took your breath away with her beauty. She was fun, too. At the time she seemed a bit slow and ditzy - though she’s matured a lot in the last few years.

Python is Ruby’s more sensible sister. She’s elegant, classy, and sophisticated. She’s perhaps too perfect. Most guys are like “dude, how can you not like Python!?”. Sure, you like Python. You just consider her the boring version of the edgy and romantic Ruby.

Java is a successful career woman. Some people who’ve worked with her feel she owes her position less to ability and more to her knack for impressing the middle-management types. You might feel that she’s the sensible type you should settle down with. Just prepare for years of “NO THAT DOESNT GO THERE GOD YOU ALWAYS USE THE WRONG TYPE INTERFACE AND YOU MISSED A SEMICOLON” nagging.

C++ is Java’s cousin. Similar to Java in many ways, the main difference being she grew up in a more innocent time and doesn’t believe in using protection. By “protection”, I mean automatic memory management, of course. What did you think I meant?

is C++’s mom. Mention her name to some old grey beard hackers and they’re sure to reminisce with a twinkle in their eye.

Objective C is another member of the C family. She joined that weird church a while back, and won’t date anyone outside of it.

Haskell, Clojure, Scheme and their friends are those hipster, artsy, intellectual girls you probably spent a blissful college summer with a few years ago. The first girls who really challenged you. Of course, it could never have become something more serious (you tell yourself). Though you’ll always be left asking “what if?”

You might be put off C# due to her family’s reputation. But they’ve gone legit, the last few years, they tell you. Once you’re one of us, you’re one of us, you hear? You need a database? Her brother MSSQL will hook you up. Need a place to stay? Heck, her daddy will even buy you your own mansion on Azure avenue. What’s that, you’re having second thoughts about all these overly friendly relatives? No, you can never leave. You’re part of the family, now, ya hear?

Javascript - hey, wasn’t that the girl you first kissed, way before even PHP came on the scene? I wonder what she’s doing now. I hear her career’s really taken off in the last few years. Would be cool to catch up some time, if only for old time’s sake… (You catch sight of her, dressed head to toe in designer jQuery)… wow, somebody grew into a beautiful swan…

I wrote an algorithm for people managing programmers.

#! usr/bin/perl
my $programming_productivity = 0;

print “How many programmers do you have?”;
my $programmers = <>;

print “How many cups of coffee can you make with the amount of coffee you have currently”
my $cups_of_coffee = <>;
my $hours;

for ($hours = 0; $cups_of_coffee > $programmers; $cups_of_coffee = $cups_of_coffee - $programmers;) {
    $programming_productivity = 300*$programmers + $programming_productivity;
    $hours++
}

print “Assuming that programming productivity is lines of code your programming team will write, then your programmers will be at ” . $programming_productivity . ”
productivity in” . $hours . ” hours - until they deplete your coffee supply, or there isn’t enough to go around, meaning they kill each other.”;