some anon asked me to draw tony and pepper, but i accidentally deleted the message, sorry!!!! (⊙︿⊙✿)

My choice was you
or the bottle
and, I think
we both always knew
what I would pick

It’s dark here in this room, alone and I miss you, baby and I’d give anything to have you back; anything I own, anything on this earth, except this bottle. I can’t give you that.

There were your eyes
so soft and blue and forgiving
They reflected back at me
the image of the man
I had always wished to be
Once I thought
I could stare into them forever
but in the end
I couldn’t stop
even for a day
and those eyes
refused to watch me

I’m dreaming of you and you know that I’ll love you forever but you need a man; someone better than me, who can give you the life you deserve. Not this miserable, worthless fucking nothing. Not me.

Then there were your lips
warm and welcoming and cut out of velvet
They pressed against mine
and washed away my fears
my cares, my past and my future
There was only the moment
there in your arms
but I guess I preferred
the kiss of cold glass
and sharp whiskey
as I watched your lips
mouth the word

I’ve tried everything and still I can’t stop; cold turkey and AA and therapy and hiding this shit from myself. I can’t stop. I can’t stop. Dear God in Heaven, what the hell’s wrong with me?

Then too, were your hands
agile and strong and sensuous
They soared over my skin
and set my flesh to burning
My body had never known
A touch so true and right
but I need to drink
more than I need to breathe
so I had to watch you
use those hands
to turn the knob
and walk out my door

I drink and I drink but the pain is still here; the fear is still here. There isn’t enough to take it away anymore. Only you could do that, baby but I shoved you out of my life so I could sit here in my own sweat and piss, and drink. And drink. And drink. And drink. ‘til I burst.

If the bottle was stronger
than your eyes or your lips or your hands
then why, in God’s name
doesn’t it have the power
to erase your lovely face
from my mind?


Max Mundan, You or the Bottle

© David Rutter 2014

Follow me on twitter @dmr226


I spent an awesome week with Woodsie-One and as usual we made some arttrades and requests including our RP characters then. There are Woodsie-One's Maggoth and Hessarian on the top one. Another piece colored with markers are Dalance and Woodsie-One's loony vampire Dalenka. Next one shows Rayhe researching Dagoth artifacts (Dagoth inhabitants aren't entirely happy with that). Sketch on the bottom shows Dalance and her husband Sovann faking to be a “happy couple” on the Great Houses assembly not to cause a scandal. Usually their relationship is quite nasty.