Me: you love me jesse?
Jesse: SHUT UP!!!
Me: oh really? Are you having sex with my lover boy tonight? Because you are not talking to me very nice!
Jesse: it’s not nice at all and I want you to explain to him that that is how he acts when he’s always so rude and disrespectful to you.
Me: no I’m not talking to him. *arms crossed
Jesse: because he’s so rude and disrespectful to you?
Me: mmhmm hide me!
Jesse: and she figured out why she faints. It’s because she’s _afraid_ of you. Now how long do you think that’s going to last? She just figured it out today
DRS: I think… she’s a genius, so it would be… not very long?
Jesse: and do you thunk she really needs me to protect her or was she just playing?
DRS: you were just playing?
Me: YES DIPSHIT! I FUCKING HATE YOU!!!! YOU RUINED MY LIFE AND DONT THINK I WONT FUCKING STAB YOU IN YOUR FUCKING GUTS CAUSE I WILL AND I’LL MAKE SURE YOU’RE ALIVE AND FEED THEM TO YOU WHILE THEY’RE STILL ATTACHED!
DRS: talk about eating shit
Me: stupid mother fucker you got one right!
Jesse: and now about your chance?
DRS: we will talk about that later, right now I think I mean gather she’s a little upset
Me: we won’t be talking we will be stabbing. And I’m going to shoot you in the knee caps I always wanted to do that
DRS: you know what I am going to do to you? Nothing because I’ve done enough. I will be talking to you later Jesse
Jesse: no you won’t
DRS: oh yeah I will
Me: about shoving your dick up his ass and saying “oh yeah baby! Sabrina! That’s the stuff chocolate is made of!!!”? I’m not that stupid. It’s SHIT!!!
Jesse: oh no. I don’t want to laugh [and he loses composure and laughs like crazy] that’s hilarious! Only my baby would say something like that!
DRS: you think that’s funny?
Me: not as funny as your penis!
Jesse: covered in shit or not? idk. I hate not to ask!
Me: it looks bigger covered in shit!
Jesse laughs hysterically: oh my god that’s my baby! Shit yeah! No one else!
Junior: no one knew mom had it in her. I sure didn’t
Me: his dick? He sure wishes
Junior: no I mean when you fight with dad you’re always so worried, like toy don’t want to upset him
Jesse: she doesn’t! She just doesn’t know who does what. But I’m telling you he does and he’s going to pay. “Pay up sucka” remember this tattoo? Ask Sabrina where it come from
Me: first let’s recap I saw it on TV when he got it. My dad had me go running in to see it and Jesse said that he came up with it in a dream. And Jesse said that people were bothering him NAMELY YOU, YOU STUPID MALE CUNT, and so I told him, you got tattoos?
Jesse: and I said yeah I got them
Me: because he said he was always always always bothered by YOU DUMBASS. And I said so get a tattoo and tell him to permenantly leave you alone
Jesse: and so I did and what else? Did you learn in my book just the other day at school? The day that Dejoria said I had to do something about you
Me: I don’t believe she told you to
Dejoria: uh yeah I did
Me: dejoria you’re a lying cunt and do you know why you did?
Dejoria: because I wanted to
Me: and you got married because?
Dejoria: it was a joke
Me: and so you told him because I would figure out because your soul mate would tell me he was in love with me on that very day, do you not realize why you “jokingly” got married?
Me: anyway go be an airhead I don’t need you that’s what he told you that day
DRS: and Jesse I thought you were stupid
Me: anyway I’m not.
DRS: and I told you “cut your hair” ruin your own life. Hurt Sabrina IDC
Me: it’s not my hair. If he cut my hair like that I would kick his ass but I like his hair short
DRS: you liked it long
Me: and I told him I didn’t think I would like it really long like he had it before did I not?
DRS: excuse me miss prissy
Jesse: I don’t appreciate you talking to her Like that excuse you its Mrs Prissy
Me: okay retard so the point is I learned in his book that he makes people pay for their fuck ups and so his tattoo which has amazingly stayed in his hand all these years
DRS: yeah I hear it is rare
Me: is because he hates you
DRS: and he’s going to bitch slap me and you’re going to slit my gut?
Jesse: only you wish she ain’t going to jail so don’t even start with me. But Dejoria is. Just you watch.
Dejoria: but I can’t go to jail! KENNY!
Kid Rock: I ain’t Kenny Rogers so go shove that one up your ass it ain’t a pickle either. Sabrina how you doing baby?
Kid Rock gets twisted up by DRS
Kid rock: you know what? I’m done. If I can’t talk to her like she’s normal I ain’t going to
DRS: you’re losing a friend
Me: who kenny?
DRS: who else dummy!?
Me: kenny ain’t losing shit. You got your finger shoved up his ass keeping it from falling out!
Jesse laughs so hard it makes me cough: Sabrina!
Me: why is Kenny losing a friend?
DRS: because he won’t talk!
Me: I thunk I can decide MY friendships and YOU won’t SHUT UP and so I don’t want to be your friend and I NEVER WAS
kid rock: case solved you’re not renting my house
Me: yes sir
Kid rock: but you can have Robby go work for you. Am I right?
Dejoria whines: kenny
Kid rock: IF THATS WHAT SHE WANTS!
Me: why you being so breathy with him?
Kid rock bends over: you wanna fuck?
Desperate Dejoria tries to suck his dick
Kid Rock: DEJORIA GET OFF!
Jesse: bet you couldn’t believe that after what you read in the tabloids
Dejoria is upset that I’m writing her behavior. Good I’ll tag her in it maybe she will shut the fuck up and leave me the hell alone clutchdust and stay off people’s private zones like I done been telling her a year now.
Me: I got a zit bae
Jesse: okay we are done now Mrs Funny