There is a fire inside me and it’s scorching the padlock of my heart and words are the only thing i’ve ever been good at.
I keep burning myself down and rebuilding.
And when the flames start to lick at my heels, i turn and stare right back at them. Daring them to tell me a truth.
Just one single truth.
I search for you in all the places you never were and like a puppet, confess that it was my fault all along until i’m paralyzed
watching you move through the heat.
I blink for just a second too long
and i know you’re gone.
Of all the words in my useless vocabulary, i’m choking on phantom smoke, and the only thing i can breathe out:
i”m not a damn phoenix.’