party etiquette for socially stunted folks
  1. stand off to the side quietly for half an hour
  2. get mad at self for not making an effort.
  3. Take several deep breaths and approach group of people
  4. say hello and introduce yourself.
  5. brain shorts out and goes blank. No additional words present themselves for you to say
  6. Original group goes back to it’s conversation. stand there quietly for several minutes and do nothing but stare at group awkwardly.
  7. retreat back to corner.

why aren’t there any painting of jesus at sick parties, like i think he would be so awesome at parties

"duuude i dare you to try and run across the pool" *jesus just casually walks over it and everyone is in awe*

"duuuuuude i am so blind i’ve had like 20 drinks" *jesus heals the man and he can see again and get more fucked up*

"JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL!" *jesus is deso tonight and gets everyone home safely*