Dad Fail of the Day: Chocolate Cake Before 10 AM

I was washing dishes this morning and Ashtyn wanted to help, but it severely slows down the process. I told her to go read and promised some chocolate pudding as a reward for being patient with me.

When the time came to deliver - I opened the fridge and we were all out. The logical alternative to avoid the impending meltdown: cake. SMH.

christinefuckingchapel said:

what sort of parents do you think rei and nagisa would be? :D


Nagisa would be the one to bring up wanting a kid first, and then begin hinting at it whenever Rei was around and he could make an implication. I can see him being excited at the thought of being a dad, based on how he wanted to play with the kids and, you know, how impressed he is by Rei’s ability with them



But Rei is not as ready as Nagisa. He will overthink their decision a thousand times because he wants to make sure he will be the perfect father and be capable of raising his children in the best conditions, and wants to read every parenting book so he is prepared for any ailment or crisis that will come between their children and a healthy, happy life. Rei will take this all very seriously and it will be a while before he finally realizes he has to take a leap of faith, and will never be fully prepared. And Nagisa will be thrilled when he finally says yes. 

Nagisa decorates the baby’s room using Pinterest inspiration and blind leaps of artistic faith, and Rei takes care of stocking up on supplies. They both overdo their budgets significantly.

Rei will mostly be the one who wakes up in the middle of the night for the baby, because Nagisa is usually out like a rock. When the baby gets its first rash or fever, Nagisa will be the one to break down first so Rei will pretend he’s not freaking out until the doctor assures them the child is fine, and then he’ll cry with relief. 

Nagisa lets the child sleep in the bed with them when they ask, and at first Rei objects, insisting that every parenting book advised against allowing the child in the bed at a young age. Nagisa and the child pout and plead until he relents. When the child outgrows the habit, Rei’s actually the one who misses it the most. 

That’s around the same time Nagisa talks Rei into having a second child. 

Nagisa is the parent that goes to social events, PTA meetings, and makes sure any historical reenactment projects the kids are assigned outdo the other students by a mile. Rei helps the kids study and helps them sort through conflicts they have socially at school. The kids prefer Rei’s cooking and Nagisa’s movie selection. They go to Nagisa when they need a “yes” to something and Rei when they need an answer. 

Here’s for a third season about Rei and Nagisa’s married life


So yesterday we went to the Minnesota State Fair and had a great time of it.  There was lots of food to be eaten, lots of animals to see, and (in Minky’s case) plenty of tractors/motorcycles/cars/etc. to climb around on.  Since we both grew up in Minnesota this was not our first time at the fair, but it was our first time in a little while so it was fun to be back.  The Iowa State Fair is pretty good too, but Minnesota’s is bigger and just a little more variety filled.  Minky’s favorite part (and where most of these pictures came from) was a kid’s farm display piece where they could ride around on tractor’s, do farm chores like pretending to feed chickens or milk cows, and other stuff like that.  But he did have fun with the other stuff, for sure, so much so that he fell asleep in his stroller about 20 minutes before we left!  All in all a great time, and we even managed to get out just before the rain moved in.  See you again next year, fair!

In a society like ours, where children are denied full civil rights, it is absolutely crucial that parenting adults learn how to offer loving discipline. Setting boundaries and teaching children how to set boundaries for themselves prior to misbehavior is an essential part of loving parenting. When parents start out disciplining children by using punishment, this becomes the pattern children respond to. Loving parents work hard to discipline without punishment. This does not mean that they never punish, only that when they do punish, they choose punishments like time-outs or the taking away of privileges. They focus on teaching children how to be self-disciplining and how to take responsibility for their actions. Since the vast majority of us were raised in households where punishment was deemed as the primary, if not the only, way to teach discipline, the fact that discipline can be taught without punishment surprises many people. 

bell hooks, all about love: new visions

Watch on

Their Son Wasn’t A Popular Kid. Imagine Their Surprise When This Happened Right Before Their Eyes.

Watch on

ICYMI: I’ve been discussing current events with my boys because their coverage can’t be any worse than CNN, right?

Anyway, here’s the latest episode. Look for a new one next week.

I Love This New Puppy

but I gotta draw the line somewhere.

At the start of the week, Lily had some intestinal upset & the unpleasantness that goes along with that, if you know what I mean. (She’s fine now.)

The vet thought it might be Giardia. No biggie. Puppy was put on some meds, but the vet was worried Lily might accidentally reinfect herself while “self-grooming”. In case you’re wondering, “self-grooming” is polite, vet-speak for “licking her ass.”

So, the vet recommended that for a few weeks I use a baby wipe to clean Lily’s butt after a poop. I so wish y’all could have seen me at that moment because “What the hell? Are you on f*cking meth? I spent years wiping two human butts and I’ll be damned if I’m wiping dog ass. Only butt I’m wiping from here on out is my own. So, nope, ain’t happening” was written all over my face.

Hello! - Keeping you updated.

Keeping a blog regularly updated can sometimes *occasionally* seem like a bit of a chore. I love it though because I love my blog. But on weeks when it’s so busy and you hardly get a moment to yourself it can be a little difficult. I’m currently in the process of moving out, but due to certain difficulties which I can’t really go into, It’s taking a long time for me to be housed. So I’m pretty much a little bit homeless right now. That’s okay though because I have such a lovely supportive family. But in the midst of things that are going on, blogging doesn’t come high enough on the list! Anyhow, things are a little bit settled now so I have time! Yessss, time! 

Daisy is now five months. As you can probably see from my last post! I can’t believe in one more month she will be half a year - how is that even possible? It’s crazy how much I adore being with her each and every day. She builds up more character and more personality each morning she wakes up. And I just watch her at night time and think how lucky I am to love her. I am so, SO lucky. I never knew being a mum could feel so rewarding and I never knew that motherhood was so beautiful. Ahhh. 

I go back to work soon. In fact, I go back to work in just five days time. I won’t lie - I am completely sad about it. I feel as though I’ve lived in a happy little bubble during this maternity leave. I’ve just been bobbing along doing this whole life/being a mum thing. I seem to have forgotten completely what it was like to be at work and to be away from Daisy. I guess I just have to get on with it. Like we all do. I’m not very good at change but I’m going to have to be. Because things are changing!

Life is a funny but lovely little thing sometimes isn’t it? 

Nice stroller Daddy!

Dylan, in the most mocking voice ever. 

Hey dude, it’s not the greatest stroller, but it’s certainly not the worst. Furthermore, this is your ride my man, not mine.

Sheesh…kids man.


Win’s Dog

It was a Friday, the last Friday in August, when we bought this dog. We had just finished up our 20 week ultrasound, the one that told us the baby I was carrying was a boy. A little brother. Win.

We had quickly texted the news to family and friends, and the congratulations were rolling in. I tried my best to fake excitement, but as we looked through the shelves of stuffed animals for a toy—something special to represent our little boy, our first present to him—my heart felt heavy. I kept glancing forlornly at the rack of tiny dresses. I had so thoroughly convinced myself (despite logic, despite probability), that our second baby would also be a girl, that I was left stunned by the contradictory news. I just kept thinking to myself that this wasn’t the way my life was supposed to go. I was meant to have two little girls. I just knew it.

My husband held up this brown dog, a plush dachshund, proclaiming, “This is the one! Look how cute it is!” And I felt ambivalent. The dog was just ok. It wasn’t really want I wanted. It wasn’t really what I had in mind. I felt ambivalent about a lot of things that day. We purchased the dog and brought it home. I placed it in the crib to wait patiently for the little boy that was to claim it. The dog seem so plain. No bows, no pink satin ears, just an ordinary brown dog. I wished secretly that it was a pink bunny instead. 

As my pregnancy went on, I tried to imagine the little boy, but I couldn’t. I tried to picture him in the clothes I had folded in the dresser. I tried to picture him in our future family photos. I tried to get used to saying his name. I tried to picture him playing with his stuffed dog, but I just couldn’t make it all fit together. I couldn’t imagine my life with a little boy in it. I couldn’t imagine myself as the mother of boy. I couldn’t imagine a brother for my daughter. 

At the time, that thought was upsetting to me. I had pictured my life unfolding a certain way, and how the trajectory was completed altered. But ever so slowly, the idea began to grow on me, and I found myself liking the brown dog who waited in the crib more and more.

Now, seven months after my son’s birth, and a year after the Friday when we bought the dog, that change of course feels like the most amazing surprise. I still find myself looking at him with wonder, and I say to myself, “Who’d have ever thought that I would end up with a little boy! I have a boy!” The fear of the unknown turned into the joy of discovery so quickly. I am just so glad to have him, this sweet little boy who looks just like me. A mother couldn’t love a baby more. He has my whole heart.

Win loves his brown dog. He likes to pull on its soft ears and suck on its black nose. I love to watch him playing with it. For so long, the dog was an odd sort of synecdoche for my unborn son, for the little boy I couldn’t imagine. It makes me so happy to see him playing with it now, and to know. Just to know.  


YoungerTwin is in the same class with a kid whose mother’s often displayed jingoism makes President Benjamin Harrison’s attempted “annexation” of Hawaii and the subsequent successful “annexation” by President William McKinley seem almost like reasonable foreign policy instead of the blatant theft that it was.

Anyhoo, this mother was going on and on about how her son can now sing all 4 verses of “The Star Spangled Banner.” She then batted her red, white, and blue painted eyelashes and asked what OlderTwin spent his summer learning. Since she already knew that he spent 4 weeks in the summer special ed program, the implication of her child’s superiority over mine was quite clear. However, I ignored her baiting and simply praised her son’s relatively useless amazing new parlor trick memory.

Of course what I really wanted to say was, “Well, both of my kids learned the words to ‘Margaritaville’ this summer so I think they win cuz people still enjoy sitting around singing that song and, hell, most peeps can’t even remember the first verse of ‘The Star Spangled Banner’ so I’m doubtful that the bulk of America even knows 'the song has three additional verses.”