“Lydia isn’t a liar, is she?” he asks him, looking at Derek seriously, “She wasn’t lying about the mate thing. She was telling the truth. Lydia never lies. Lydia’s brutally honest, actually.”
“What I don’t understand,” Stiles says loudly, drowning out Derek’s attempt to talk, “is why, if that is the case, you pushed me away. I mean, I told you I loved you, Derek. And you shoved those words back in my face and just walked away. You told me not to come back. What is that, Derek?” Stiles demands, “What is that?”
Derek doesn’t say anything, blinking at Stiles. “No, you do not get to be the stoic, angry, silent guy,” Stiles says, pointing at him accusatorily. Derek’s eyes flash and he actually looks guilty.
“I – Stiles,” he says and he sounds pained. “I can’t.”
“You can’t what?” Stiles asks.
“I can’t ask that of you!” he shouts, and Stiles steps forward a little.
“Ask what of me?” he asks, softer now.
“I can’t ask you to be mine forever, when I’m the worst person in the world to be stuck with forever. I can’t ask you to love me, I can’t ask you to be with me. Because I will – I will fuck it up,” Derek chokes, and Stiles is close now, pressed against him, staring up at him.
Derek blinks rapidly, and if Stiles didn’t know better, he’d think he was trying to block tears.
“It’s not that I don’t – that I didn’t –” Derek mumbles, but he still can’t say it, and Stiles heart shatters a little.
He backs away. Derek’s arms snaps out and wraps around his wrist, “Don’t,” he whispers, “I’m – I do,” he says firmly, “I do.”
“You do what?” Stiles demands, looking up and meeting his eyes, determined. Derek closes his eyes and breathes deeply.
Based on “Waiting for You to Say It First" by paradis