pantsfreesia said:

Once upon a time I made a thing. It was a glorious thing, a quilted thing. All colorful and fancy. The best thing about my thing is that I can use it to dutch oven my 8 year old son when he won't stop with the armpit farts. The end.

BEST. STORY. EVER.

pantsfreesia said:

Why does the internet hurt my feelings sometimes? Also, if there's a cure for not being able to stop watching that guy-kissing-his-cat gif, don't tell me. And also, why is PMS such an evil bitch?

I have the same problem when I’m feeling low. Everything I see just makes me feel sad, even things from my friends. That’s when I take a social media break. 

I would never try to stop you from watching that gif. 

Because its Mom didn’t hug it enough. 

pantsfreesia said:

Related: If you were a Princess in Ooo, what is your Princess name? Since, you know, it appears there's an infinite number of princesses there.

Marshmallow Princess, because I am soft and sweet and pasty white and coated with corn starch. 

pantsfreesia said:

I would like to share one of my favorite poems: Ooey gooey was a worm / A mighty worm was he / He sat upon the railroad track / The train he did not see / Ooey gooey. My question: do you have a favorite poem?

I love it. :) It made me think of the baby bumblebee song we used to sing in girl scouts!

My favorite poem has always been this one by Dickinson:

I’m nobody - who are you?
Are you nobody, too?
Then there’s a pair of us—don’t tell 
They’d banish us, you know

How dreary to be somebody
How public, like a frog
To tell your name the livelong day
To an admiring bog

pantsfreesia said:

My cat Zapper snores. This is simultaneously adorable and disconcerting on conference calls when she is draped over me while I work.

Shampoo snores, too. It’s about the cutest thing that has ever happened, ever.

pantsfreesia said:

Don't remember how I found out about sex other than a dirty joke about making sandwiches in bed and mayo running down a woman's leg. My mom gave me the pamphlet on periods but not the one about sex. I found my sister's copy of the sex pamphlet in high school, and held onto that nugget until my wedding day. When my mom asked if I had any questions about my wedding, I asked her why she never gave me the sex pamphlet. It was a magical day. :)

GAH,

I found out about my period the week before I got it. Worst. Week. EVER. 

pantsfreesia said:

I am mailing you a package today! Huzzah! This is not a question, is it? Oh... wait. Dagnabbit.

You guys. 

Pam made me a robot quilt. 

IT. IS. AWESOME. 

Pam, do you have good photos of this? Because I want to share them with The People. 

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