Me: So I was dating X, while she was living with D and W.
Me: X was dating W at the same time, who knew she was seeing me but was okay as long as he occasionally got to see my boobs.
Me: So then I was going to move in with X, W, and D, but then X and I broke up because I didn’t like her relationship with W and then X started seeing D along with W.
Me: And then D moved in with me while continuing to see X while she was still with W.
Me: But now D is moving out and X wants to move in with me.
Friend: …So she’s dating you again, and wants to leave W?
Me: She’s not dating me, we just want to live together and take care of each other’s pets together and cook for each other and argue over household chores and furniture choices.
Friend:…what about your boyfriend? Weren’t you two talking about moving in together?
Me: Oh, he needs to talk to his wife to make sure it’s okay for him to move in with me.
Friend: you aren’t even having sex how is your love life this complicated