Done with winter. Done with snow. Done with my fancy headphones being dead and I’m reduced to using Apple earbuds. Done with the patch of skin on my chin where beard will not grow.

I Have Apologized

I have apologized for so much in my life.
I have apologized for kissing a girl when I was drunk because my friend found it “trashy” even though he didn’t seem to think it was too trashy to use me for sex for 8 months and then stop talking to me when he got a girlfriend.
I have apologized for taking an arm rest on the airplane so that the man next to me could have two.
I have apologized for having sex with multiple people when the men around me have always taken any and all opportunities to do so themselves.
I apologized to a boy when he was angry with me for doing better than him on an Anatomy test.
I apologized when I received a scholarship because I was told that if I was not a female and Hispanic, I would not have received it so I didn’t deserve it.
I have apologized for wearing a low-cut shirt because it gave the guy I was on a date with the “wrong idea.”
I have apologized for not wanting to have sex with my boyfriend because he assumed me not wanting sex meant that I suddenly did not love him anymore.
I have apologized for laughing too loudly. 
I have apologized when my depression forced me to show emotions other than happiness and calm. 
I have apologized for my for my lust, my desire to eat, my successes, my self-expression, my emotions.
I have apologized for my existence.
And I don’t want to do that anymore.
I am too angry to continue saying, “I’m sorry,”
When you show no sign of remorse.