I have apologized for so much in my life.
I have apologized for kissing a girl when I was drunk because my friend found it “trashy” even though he didn’t seem to think it was too trashy to use me for sex for 8 months and then stop talking to me when he got a girlfriend.
I have apologized for taking an arm rest on the airplane so that the man next to me could have two.
I have apologized for having sex with multiple people when the men around me have always taken any and all opportunities to do so themselves.
I apologized to a boy when he was angry with me for doing better than him on an Anatomy test.
I apologized when I received a scholarship because I was told that if I was not a female and Hispanic, I would not have received it so I didn’t deserve it.
I have apologized for wearing a low-cut shirt because it gave the guy I was on a date with the “wrong idea.”
I have apologized for not wanting to have sex with my boyfriend because he assumed me not wanting sex meant that I suddenly did not love him anymore.
I have apologized for laughing too loudly.
I have apologized when my depression forced me to show emotions other than happiness and calm.
I have apologized for my for my lust, my desire to eat, my successes, my self-expression, my emotions.
I have apologized for my existence.
And I don’t want to do that anymore.
I am too angry to continue saying, “I’m sorry,”
When you show no sign of remorse.