The Journal of Raphael Hamato

Trade fic for pointlessquotehere. Part One of Ten

Warnings: angst, major character death (past), suicidal ideation 


December 13, 2023
Gettin cold out. Not that I been out out lately, but I can feel it. Creeps in through the drains, y’know? Melted snow gray sludge pours down the grates. Everything is flooded. Gets pretty disgusting down here without D…

Well, I ain’t got nowhere else to go, anyway. Gotta stay here. Outta sight. Outta mind? Outta my mind, maybe, that’s what Casey would say. Whaddoes he know? Dumb as a box of rocks, that human. Fuckin’ human.

Case and April gonna see the tree in Times Square. Want me to come. I ain’t returned their calls. No trench coat is gonna hide this sack of shit. I don’t want… They know I hate Christmas, anyway. Worst time of the year. Fuckin human holiday anyway. I don’t need it. Ain’t mine.

They don’t get it. I ain’t a part of their world. Geez, I sound like that damn mermaid movie Mikey

Fuck, it’s cold.

December 22, 2023
Am I hibernating or dying?

January 2, 2024
They came down yesterday and tol me happy new year. I tol em to get out. Happy. I ain’t happy. If they ever really loved my family, they wouldn’t be happy neither. But they are. They’re human. Whadda they care? Don’t matter to them. Nothin matters to them. They forget. I ain’t never gonna forget. Never gonna forgive.

I know I shouldn’t … be here. Don’t deserve it. Fuck. Fuck, god! I miss them so much. Am I hibernating or dyin? Please let me die. I know I don’t deserve it, but


How have I only just seen this?! 

This video makes me very happy! Not only does Kidoh look ridiculously hot when he curses but he throws the bird @2:28 & joins Supreme Boi in the “p***y wide open” part!