Today I found out that the 21st of May
was more special than I had realized.
A child who longed to conquer everything:
the world, herself
and all the demons in between
For a second the world turned Crimson,
and the roses she dyed cried ‘She is near, she is near;’.
I paced my room on the morning of the 21st,
thinking: (What could I give you?)
My gifts would not reach you in time
My voice was not strong enough to reach your lands
and time slips through fingers like sand.
If distance was not so crippling a force
This is what I would do.
I’d clear the way for your arrival
Tell the flowers: She is coming (My dove, my dear)
and teach the red roses to speak
and the larkspurs to hear
and the lilies to wait.
And as for the white roses, with a whisper I’d remind them:
“The queen is never late. Everyone else is simply
She is coming. My own, my sweet, my one and only.
She is here.
There are certain Months that are special to me.
Januarys and Decembers
June, November (now),
with a few in between
Because Today (in May)
Light and flame ascends
Light and flame turns a year closer to becoming
all that she was marked to be. A year closer to conquest
and deeper shades of grace.
My loved one –
I’m deeply proud of you.
I admire you. I am scrambling for words.
Today I have no gifts to express myself with
no soothing scents to invigorate your bones
no streamers to adorn your arms with
But I do have a seat on the crescent moon that you reserved for me
on the 2nd of November.
Today I want you to sit on that which you honored me with.
Today I want you to sit and see from above
all the lives you’ve touched
all the smiles you’ve caused
and all the strength you’ve imparted in us.
(I tell heaven about you, and they often say “We know! We love her.”)
I’ll lay Nasturtiums around you while you sleep (feeling loved)
as you dwell around the piles of letters and kind words
and the company of loved ones, near and far
The embraces of those
who will never let you go.
Dear light, dear flame
my one and only
Today you are my stardust.
Happy Birthday, Kitana. I wish you every happiness, for you’ve been a big source of mine.