1. The way your hands swallowed mine whole and how your words consistently drowned me in their harsh riptide. The way I saw it all happen, but didn’t get out of the waves; instead I compared you to the sea and hoped for calmer waters ahead.
2. Letting you tattoo your name in the deepest depths of my unexplored soul. You never were a good artist, and I think that needle was dirty.
3. Questioning the way you smiled when you said you loved me because I thought your tone sounded sarcastic, and the glint in your eyes struck me as cynical.
4. Not trusting my instincts with number 3.
5. Reading about sociopaths and their tendencies to disregard right and wrong; not noting how unusual it was that your face popped into my brain.
6. I need you back. It’s not a regret yet, but I think it will be.
7. Laughing at your stupid jokes like you were a stand up act and I paid 35.49 just to hear you talk. Even though I was paying a much higher price, but that doesn’t matter. I would have kept spending until I was broke or dead. Whichever came first.
8. Letting you back into my gauze wrapped heart to soothe the desperate longing that had settled inside it.
9. Allowing you to tear me apart from the inside out until the morticians could only identify me from my dental records.
10. Comparing you to the universe, and seeing every word you spoke as an extraordinary constellation when they were actually meteors determined to leave me in ruins.
A List Of My Biggest Regrets