Hi everyone, how’s it goin’? So the other day someone asked me about Hogwarts houses and it led to Petunia, Larry (unbeknown to him), and I going to the costume store to get me a wizard outfit. And I got the other to to tag along ‘cause Petunia REALLY wanted to play dress up with a very confused Larry. She put him in a lot of costumes, but here are a few…
- Firstly, Petunia got Larry in a cowboy suit, ten-gallon hat and all. He said it was really itchy, so he took it off not to long after that. But Petunia really liked it though. I mean REALLY liked it. Like, “Never ever take this thing off, ever” kind of liked it.
- Next, Larry was put into a pirate outfit. I really thought it was authentic and piratey, but Petunia said it need a women’s touch to it. I think she made Larry end up looking up like a fruity pirate. And that’s saying something for a vegetable.
- Then Larry got in a bunch of different pop culture character costumes, like Darth Vader, Mickey Mouse, Winnie The Pooh, Iron Man, Captain America, the Hulk, Thor, some muppet characters, Looney Tunes characters, Game of Thrones outfits, etc. Oy…
After that it got really uncomfortable; for me at least. They got real flirty and almost sensual. (And you thought that was impossible) So on the drive to drop them off at home, I was extremely quiet. But THEY were not. I won’t tell you what sounds I heard, but they were definitely sounds no old man wants to hear from other people.
So when we got to Larry’s house, Larry carried Petunia to the house and they went inside. I tried to get their attention, but that didn’t work. Eventually I heard something, and let me tell you, there were FIREWORKS.
No literally, the were watching a movie with fireworks in it. It sounded like Lord of the Beans, but I can’t be sure. So after that I just drove home and went to bed.
Oh! And I never found a good wizard costume. There were none in my size. So it was a wash.
But not for Larry and Petunia. ;)