ashaqueenasha said:

jaqen x shitmouth.

(i’m so sorry.  i forgot this was supposed to be 3 sentences and crack happened.)

The two men stared uneasily at each other over their tankards of ale at a rickety table in an inn on the Kingsroad.  It was once a peaceful place, this inn, but now it buzzed with talk of war and lusty rumors of Lannister loot.  Amidst the chaos, the men’s unending glances easily went unnoticed.  But there they sat, their ale half-drunk.  The shorter, more dishevelled of the two pushed aside a greasy plate of chicken bones.  The other man, fair of face and peculiar of hair, took the last bite of a mealy apple and placed the core neatly besides him on the table in place of tossing it into the litter that collected underneath the tables.

The dishevelled man was the first to break the silence.

"I must say," he began, "and you best listen to me, for this is a grievance I’ve waited too terribly long to air.  I have grown weary—weary I tell you—of having to spew such profanities.  Such vicious, vile, foul words.  Shit and fuck and bugger and arse and cuntpah!  They vex me so.  They sear my tongue with their poisonous sting.  And to have to say them in front of women and babes—”  He took a large sip from his tankard.  ”How I envy you and your polite ways and that damned smooth, mellifluous way you have of speaking.  You haven’t the faintest idea what it is like to live the burdensome life I lead.”

His companion shook his hair—both the red side and the white side, as it were—off his face and looked the first man full in the eye.  The languid air about him while he ate his apple was gone, replaced by a thin-lipped intensity.

think I’ve never heard such horseshit in my life.  Or any of my other lives.”  He shoved his tankard to the side and leaned in close.  ”Have you any idea, Shitmouth?  You talk of your burdens, oh…have you any idea of the burden of being A Man?  A Man this.  A Boy that.  A King dies.  A Lovely Girl—”

"A lovely girl?” Shitmouth spluttered.  ”Have you—You told me I was your only, Jaqen.  Your only!  Wretched, perfidious—”

"I’m not done talking," the taller man known as Jaqen said, a dagger suddenly in his hand.  Shitmouth’s eyes widened.  "As was saying, I’m tired of talking about A Man.  It’s time to start talking about me.  Me!  Who even talks like that?  I sound like a complete nutter.”

The men became enveloped in silence once more.  Yet again, Shitmouth was the first to continue talking.

"Bugger this whole thing," he muttered.  "I like the way you bloody speak, you stupid fuck."

"And a man is most enamored of these bold words," Jaqen replied with a smile.

The two men clinked their tankards together and drank.

sapphireglyphs said:

3 sentence fic meme: Myrcella Baratheon

Even down here in Dorne she has heard the rumors about her true father, over and over again she’s heard them, and now when she sees her scarred face in the mirror she almost likes what she sees.  She used to think she was beautiful just like her mother the Queen; now, she is ugly.  Just like they think Mother is, she says to herself, and Mother is still Queen.

i just read through my semi-nsfw meme fics (that have never gone up on ao3 because i think i need to reorganize my drabble situation on there but i’m not sure how i want to do it yet) and i realized that 

i’m not as bad a writer as i think i am????????

like even when i feel discouraged because i think v few people are reading a thing and none of my fics are like Fandom Famous…i write the kinds of things that i want to read, that i don’t get bored when i go back and read.  and that’s fucking cool that i can do that, and that they work.

I wonder who was the first nigga to use quotie-fingers while talking.

That was some monumental shit. He probably didn’t even know. 

"Hey Jim we’re about to engage in a ✌cultural exchange ✌with the natives, do you want to come?"