A simple smile from passerby’s was never what this was
Those un-complex seemingly meaningless moments that bridged one extraordinary moment to the next: at those instances seemed like mere fluff atop an already grand designed cake, who knew they were destined to transform into the cornerstones, the support columns to the chapel that i have built in my mind to worship the time i spent with you.
At once these moments these bridges these columns exploded into opalesque glimmers of love, that represented all the world stood for in my mind. These glimmers of love have stayed in my heart and in my eyes, or perhaps they were always there and i finally was willing to unveil them from the dark cloth that shielded my soul.
sometimes thoughts of you leek out my eyes and onto my cheeks, down and down they fall, the lightly wet and salty path made in its wake upon its decent on my face as unpredictable as life itself.
The path riddled with sudden twists and turns as if to denote this concept that even with all of natures great forces working together to impose upon the world and upon my tears :a secret order that makes the world work in a predictable way… but chaos seems to be a greater force of nature then of gravity and electromagnetism, and of nuclear force.
Chaos is what i dwelt in: It was all i new because at the time i was the center of the universe watching the world on a tiny television screen in the comfort of my warm and comfortable mind. Projecting what i thought was what I needed to happen and when something instance messed up to my dislike. it was a personal act against me…..
Little did i know there was larger, and then even larger television screens to focus on that shared a broadcast of life with much more clarity….. if you ever made it there you would know, one can no longer look at life through a lens of perception, because if you didnt take off your special movie theater glasses you would be attempting to understand life from a single point in time and space with a narrow view point. This would demean the inherent complexity of life, of the inter-twining independent realities melting together to form a net of being that is known as our cosmos…. No moment from person too person will ever be perceived the same. So while inherently different to every conscious mind filtering there own realities into there pot of coffee….. One who was trained to look and see differently might say “what they are filtering through there perception cannot be isolated even if the end result is a completely different concept of reality a different pot of coffee”……. Its still all the same coffee beans…….. its still all one
I carry you always: In a gentle and remorseful caress: i might not be able to bare witness to that sweet smile that sings a song more beautiful then a 1000 Lyre birds, or hear your voice that touches soul with a light kiss, your body and mind might as well be a subject of study within the school of aesthetics…… but i hold to me the merging of our souls, i hold onto what you have tried to disseminate into my perception and into my being.
I am not a perfect person, and i will never be. The interesting thing about each and every human is is we are destined to be an unfinished masterpiece for all of our existence, we are a constantly morphing and changing, like a beautiful clay sculpture that never quite dries and some instance comes along and alters our shape.
You were never a simple passerby, and you never will be….. you shine through in my memories, in my actions, and in my dreams…….
Let my words be our bridge, because if physical presence holds no truths anymore for the intertwining projections of our life’s path.
I am sorry but you will always be one of the most significant chapters in my life…….. and no matter how much hate, or space, or time, or distance will ever change that……. My immature calamities of emotional confusion was probably the greatest weapon to our amorous moments, i was not strong enough to hold our precious gem together…..so now i hold the pieces like a talisman……. and hope for change within myself…….
Hold strong and hold fast my love………….. Because to learn how to love even in the face of all seven deadly sins, is perhaps the greatest art we as humans can learn!
Mi amore, I toast to the idea that you will get exactly what you need and that your moments left in this physical existence will forever be greater then what i could have offered.
By Greg Guevara