Happy birthday, honey.
We miss you, you’ll come this weekend, right?
It’s a cozy place, she welcomed by Boyce Avenue’s A Thousand Miles. She smiles, the all-wooden-furniture make the place looks so comfy. She chooses the seat near the big glass wall so she could see the view out there. She puts her phone on the table after read a text from her mother.
Looking through the glass wall, somehow she feels so happy how cloudy this afternoon. She remembered when she left London yesterday, leafs already turn to yellow and fall to the ground. Autumn is coming and she loves it.
“If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by
‘Cause you know I’d walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you
Maybe she just missed him.
How long was it?
7 years? Or 8 years?
She shook her head, she shouldn’t try to being dramatic by count the number of the year they were apart.
Their relationship is like that, more than a friend but less than a lover. Maybe like that, or maybe it just her who thinks like that.
What are they called it?
Ah, unrequited love?
She puts her palm on her cheek, wandering why he wanted to meet her. She remember how her heart beats faster when she read the message that night. He asking her to meet sooner, told her that he want to say something. Maybe he want to give a surprise. Maybe, but she shouldn’t expecting too much because people say the more you expecting, that much will hurt you. But what should she does now? She can’t control her feeling though she knows that she –maybe– will fall once again.
“Hey, London girl, there you are.”
A familiar husky voice makes her turns her head. Find a tall figure with a grin on his face, and now he is walking toward her.
All she wants is jump and hug that man right now, but she shouldn’t do that.
“Hey there, New York boy.”
She is trying hard to look cool as usual though her heartbeat tells something different.
“Sorry, I’m late. Traffic, you know.”
She can’t stop looking at his gesture when he lifts up his hand to call the waiter.
“One Americano and— “ he looking at her with a toothy smile on his face, “—iced lemon tea, right?”
She nods and smiles, still trying to looking cool but inside it feels like thousands butterflies flying on her stomach. This kind of feeling is the one that she should ignore.
“So, how long you’ll stay?”
The tall man opens his coat and put it on the chair next to him.
“A month, how about you?”
“Longer than you—“ he smiles, “—so tell me about London.”
And she tells everything about London, her workplace, the weather, how she loves London so much. She lured to her own story, forgetting about strange feeling on her heart and keep talking and talking.
“— It’s autumn now and oh, I forget to tell you I haven’t meet Queen Elizabeth but I’ve meet Prince Harry once and I’d love to bragging it.”
She ends her long speech with a laughable statement and that man laughs warmly.
“We both work in a far place, far from here, our hometown. Tell me, why did we do this again?”
“It’s a dream, Attar—“ She said, “— and there’s no autumn season in Jakarta, you know.”
The man, name Attar, smiles widely.
“Yeah, Tatyana, the autumn girl.”
It’s a cloudy afternoon and Tatyana likes it so much.
She is stirring her iced lemon tea with a straw while Attar starting to talk about his work in New York. It’s true when people said that there are some things never change, like the way Attar folded his sleeve until his elbow, the way he sips his favorite Americano, the way his eyebrow twitching, the dimple on his left cheek and—
Right, the way he calls her.
“Tatyana Mahendra, hello?”
Attar waving his hand in front of Yana’s face.
“I hear you, I hear you. Go on.”
He takes another sip of his Americano.
“Actually, I want to tell you something.”
It’s his serious face, Yana straighten her back automatically.
This is it, this is the time. Ugh heartbeat, please be cooperative.
“Honestly, I want to tell you that I—“
Attar looking straight to her eyes and she hold her breath without realize it.
“—I want to tell you that I… I will getting married next month.”
Yana’s face turns pale, her mouth open and close before she could say something. This is not the confession that she expected.
Attar’s phone suddenly ringing and he answering it in front of Yana. She suddenly being a deaf, she can’t hear Attar’s voice but she can see his happy face, warm smile
“She is here.”
That’s the only sentence that she could hear properly from Attar’s mouth. Her brain still trying to accept it but suddenly someone standing in front of her.
“Yana, this is my fiancé, Sarah. And Sarah this is my best friend ever, Tatyana.”
Her leg trembled, somehow it feels so hard to stand properly but she still do it.
Long wavy hair, small face, milky skin, girly. Beautiful creature.
“Finally, I’m really happy to meet you. He always told me about you.”
Yana is sure that she is smiling awkwardly now.
“I hope he didn’t told you something bad about me.”
She manages to joke and laugh. Just to sweep away her awkward feeling.
“Actually, I want to tell you first. You are my best friend, so I want to share this happy news with you.”
Yana nods. She can see how happy is Attar right now, the way he squeezes Sarah’s hand is different. He loves her, and it makes Yana feels more awkward.
She smiles when they are smiling, she laughs when they are laughing, she did it though she didn’t really understand what thing to smile at and what thing to laugh at. All she wants to do is leaving this place sooner. She couldn’t hurt herself more than this.
“Alright, we should find something for dinner. Let’s go.”
“I-I think I can’t go with you guys. I ha-have another appointment. You should enjoy your dinner together—“
Yana smiles and take her bag, “—oh, congratulation for your wedding. I gotta go now. See you later.”
She rushes to the front door of the coffee shop, she can hear Attar tells her –half yelling- that he will contact her later so she just waved her hand and run to the street to find taxi.
What the worst birthday ever.
“Attar, I can’t. You know I have to going back to London in a month.”
“Oh, come on, Yana. I’m really asking for your help. Please.”
Yana massages her temple, she hates the reality that she couldn’t deny Attar’s will.
“You should be the best woman in my wedding. You should be the one who brings the ring, you know. I don’t want other people do it.”
“Attar, it’s a best man not best woman. Gosh, where do you find a best woman in a wedding ceremony? There’s only maid of honor.”
“Whatever, you should be there, at my wedding. And don’t say anything about going back to London because I know that your company will give you day off if you ask.”
“Gosh, what should I do with this stubborn best friend?”
“You should help him preparing his wedding.”
How far, how far you’ll break my heart, Attar?
“Hey, Yana. Let’s have lunch.”
“Wait a minute, Attar.”
“I’d like to say we gave it a try
I’d like to blame it all on life
Maybe we just weren’t right, but that’s a lie, that’s a lie…”
“What is this?”
“Can’t you see? It’s a present, Attar.”
“Your birthday gift.”
“Haha, thank you.”
“And we can deny it as much as we want
But in time our feelings will show…”
From : Attar
To : Attar
From : Attar
I’ll pick you up at 7
“ ‘Cause sooner or later
We’ll wonder why we gave up
The truth is everyone knows… “
“Hey, Attar. Long time no see.”
“Hey, Denny. It’s been a long time. What are you doing here? ”
“Dinner, of course. By the way, who is this?”
“Oh, this is my friend, Yana. Yana, this is Denny, my high school friend.”
“Hello, I’m Tatyana. Attar’s friend.”
“If I could change the world overnight
There’d be no such thing as goodbye
You’d be standing right where you were
And we’d get the chance we deserve…”
“I’m going to New York next month.”
“R-really? Oh, congratulation.”
“I hear that your application is accepted in London.”
“Ah, that. Yes.”
“Almost, almost is never enough
So close to being in love…”
“Hey, groom. Feeling nervous?”
Yana is there, walking toward Attar who standing in front of the mirror, looking at his reflection. She can see that Attar’s expression has changed from worry become more relax.
“There you are, you know how nervous I am.”
She is standing right in front of him, pats his shoulder and making sure that her friend looking good.
“You’ll getting married.” She said.
“Yeah, I’ll getting married.” He replies.
There they are, standing and face each other. Yana touches Attar’s cheek, she always wanna do this before. Realize that her unrequited-love will always ended up as unrequited-love, she pulls away his hand, giving a small smile to Attar.
“This stubborn friend will getting married, so be brave, you groom.”
It is a smile, a sad one.
And like a flash of light, Attar pulls her into his hug.
“Oh God, Yana. Tell me, tell me why we ended up like this?”
She starts sobbing, understand what he’s trying to say.
“It’s me… It’s me who should asking you that.”
He tighten his hug but she tries to release herself.
“Don’t—“ She says, “— I’ll ruining your cloth. Just don’t –“
He pulls her closer, hug her back, “It’s okay, it’s okay. Just—stay for a while like this, please.” He said.
“We’re so funny yet stupid.”
She nods, agree with his words.
“But it’s too late, you know. You always like this, you are too slow.”
She said, half sobbing.
“I know, I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t say sorry—“ She pulls herself away from him, “—and you should go now, they’re waiting for you.”
They look at each other, and like a farewell he kisses her forehead. She burst into crying and didn’t look at him when he walks away from that room.
“If I would have known that you wanted me
The way I wanted you
Then maybe we wouldn’t be two worlds apart
But right here in each other’s arms…”
“Are you sure you don’t need a help?”
“I’m okay, you know. Just enjoy your honey moon, newlywed.”
“I should be there, help you. Why you didn’t tell me that you’ll going back to London today? Oh this stubborn best friend.”
“What will you do if I told you?”
“At least I can drive you to airport.”
“I’m okay—oh I should go now, bye—“
“Gonna miss you.”
“Hey, your wife is there, she could hear you. Hahaha.”
“I know, but still take care there. Call me often.”
“Okay, I’ll call you later.”
“Gosh, I’m gonna miss you, you know.”
“Me too. Gonna miss you, so much.”
“See you next time, Yana.”
“And we almost, we almost knew what love was
But almost is never enough…”