In my online dating adventure (I have since deleted my profile) I stumbled upon a “Message me if,” portion where someone said to NOT message him if you, and I quote, “Slather on makeup,” well, I didn’t message him. But I would have loved to of shown him this picture and thousands of other pictures of women who love makeup and like to “slather” it on. Why? Because we’re all allowed to like our war paint. I have a healthy respect for cosmetics, I even work at an effing cosmetics store, though my natural face is just as pretty.
I’m going to tell you all a secret that I haven’t even shared with my own counselor, who I have been seeing for four years. I’ve never even had this conversation with boyfriends.
I have PCOS-Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. It’s a hormonal disorder that can produce male like hair growth patterns, which I have been blessed with. I HAVE FACIAL HAIR. I have to shave everyday. I grow thick dark hair all over my body, in fact. The worst, is my face, which is the most visible. I get a 5 o’clock shadow, even. I try and conceal the razor bumps and redness with foundation, though that only covers the discoloration, not the marks protruding through my makeup.
It’s embarrassing and I wish more than anything to get laser hair removal because it’s actually painful to shave everyday. You don’t know how lucky you are to not have to pull back when your Sweetie caresses your chin, or wants to nibble on your neck. I would like to stay longer at a Lover’s house, but I don’t want him to find out the truth about my face. I’m sure they have seen it and were being polite and not saying anything. But I know. I know it’s there.
I’m sharing this because I’ve always compared my “hairy-ness” to other women’s lighter hair and hiss when they complain about the woes of hair removal and how they have to get waxed every month or shave once a week. But I need to stop doing that for my own fucking sanity. I am beautiful regardless of the hair that grows on my face.