13 Ways the IOC Is Making Hosting the 2022 Winter Olympics More Enticing

With Oslo now the fourth city to drop out of the running, the IOC is trying to sweeten the pot on “The Olympics Nobody Wanted.”

  • Add new crowd-pleasing event, “Real Cold Gymnastics.”
  • Athletes having insane sex in the Olympic Village will be made an Olympic sport and televised.
  • Gold medals will actually be made of gold this time instead of radioactive beryllium like previous three Winter Olympics.
  • Save money on fabric by making ice costumes even skimpier.
  • 5,000 slaves currently being used to build Qatar’s World Cup facilities will be donated to building the facilities in your country.
  • All athletes must provide their own ice.
  • Add new event where you just see whether Michael Phelps or Usain Bolt can make it across a frozen pond faster wearing only a pair of wool socks.

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