For those who want to know, I am unable to handle a “real” job, such as working at a store somewhere, because I have a very low tolerance for stress due to my mental health and stage of recovery. My therapist has confirmed this and has properly written up letters about it. I am easily upset and get huge amounts of anxiety that prevent me from functioning well in those kinds of jobs. When I talk about Adblockers, I’m not trying to guilt anyone. I merely wanted to put up a reminder for anyone who didn’t realize and would care to switch it off. For those who asked about a donate link, there is one in the description of every video.
I don’t do YouTube “just for the money” as some claim. I do it because I love doing it. I like helping people and making connections with people. I like the community and I like the creative freedom I have with it. But my number one goal has been to reach out and help people who’ve gone through things like I have. The fact is when I was really suicidal and broke with no way to take care of myself, YouTube is what saved me. It was something I could handle and it was something that didn’t overwhelm me. It’s what allowed me to pay my bills and stop having to be such a burden on those who cared for me. And so yes, the money is also important because even with it, I’m still under the poverty level. I’m sorry if that offends you somehow, but that’s how it is. I don’t see why the fact that I earn some income from making these videos somehow negates my love for ASMR and the community. Is a counselor who requires an income suddenly not interested in helping people and only in it for the money?
I’m just so tired of everybody thinking I’m so horrible for the reminders I put up about Adblock. But it’s also really frustrating to hear people say, “Yeah, I like your stuff, but screw you; you don’t put in any effort. You don’t deserve anything. Your work means nothing. Now excuse me as I sit back and watch it anyway.” Not everyone had this mindset, but many did. And it’s really hurtful to see people tell me I’m useless, my work is worthless, I am nothing but a machine to yell at.
I’m just going to try to continue not reading the replies to those reminders as it gives me so much anxiety that I’m shaking right now just thinking about it. Please just leave me alone about it. Sorry. Thanks.
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