offbeatmama

New Favorite Website

www.offbeatmama.com

Maybe I’m late to the party on this one, but I am enamored. Here are their values [from http://offbeatmama.com/about]:

We believe that…

  • Every parent has the right to choose what’s best for themselves and their child, within reason of accountability and not causing harm to others.
  • Every parent, every kid, and every situation is different. We do not believe in dogmatic parenting philosophies or judging those who make different decisions. Different choices work for different families. FULL STOP.
  • Families come in many forms other than the heterosexual nuclear family model, and we support parenting of all sorts, including biological, adoptive, step, and foster.
  • Becoming a parent doesn’t mean completely abandoning your pre-kid lifestyle and aesthetics.
  • It’s critically important for parents to maintain an element of autonomy and identity separate from their partners and children. We believe you can love being a mother and still take time for yourself and your other interests.
  • As long as you’re making well educated, truly conscious decisions, there are very few wrong choices.
  • Being proactive is more powerful than being reactive. We are not parenting rebels — we chose what we feel is best for ourselves and our children.
  • Subcultures and nontraditional families are awesome, although we provide support unconditionally across the full range of the normative/non-normative spectrum.
  • Offbeat shouldn’t be confused with laissez faire or anarchistic.
  • We’re not here to argue and we don’t waste our time debating over the parenting roads we choose not to travel. [Please read the Offbeat Mama commenting policy.]
  • Women’s online communities have been taken over by acronyms that can be alienating and confusing. Rather than use shorthand to describe our ideas (EC, CD, BF, WTF?) we chose real language so that all readers can understand us.
  • Non-binary parenting philosophies are our favorites. We don’t believe that any idea needs to be all or nothing, and binary philosophies only manage to scare away curious folks who might benefit from dabbling.

This is a parenting community I can get behind whole-heartedly. Woohoo!

The thing is, my children are perfect. I am the grown up, so I’m supposed to show them everything about life. When they wake up in the morning, though, I stare at them and they’re new. They teach me everything. They are babies and they teach me what it means to be a person. It’s easy to see that they’re beautiful.

I am slow and I am tired. I am round and sagging. I am harried. I am sexless. I am getting older.

I am beautiful. How can this be? How can any of this be true?

I don’t want my girls to be children who are perfect and then, when they start to feel like women, they remember how I thought of myself as ugly and so they will be ugly too. They will get older and their breasts will lose their shape and they will hate their bodies, because that’s what women do. That’s what mommy did. I want them to become women who remember me modeling impossible beauty. Modeling beauty in the face of a mean world, a scary world, a world where we don’t know what to make of ourselves