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the psychic told me i’m gonna die

odylism said:

35, Amy Santiago, Jake Peralta

Amy’s hands are trembling. She doesn’t know why, she’s done this before, she’s done this a thousand times, but for some reason she can’t control her nerves. Maybe it’s Judge Norton’s flat stare, her painted on lips and eyebrows, her gravelly voice. She’s never had to testify in her courtroom before, and Boyle’s cheerful, “Good luck, you’ll need it!” as she left the station hadn’t helped matters at all.

She starts to drum her fingernails, bitten back to the quick, on her trouser leg as she waits to be called. She wants to glance at the clock again, but she’s already done that an embarrassing number of times.

The bench moves a little, and before she can react, Jake is sliding in next to her. “Heey, Santiago.”

“What are you doing here?” she whispers at him. “Did you have to testify today, too?”

“Nope!” he tells her with a goofy grin. “And thank god, I had to testify in front of Nana Norton once and…” He shudders dramatically. “I’m just here for moral support.”

"I…"

“‘Cause you’re gonna need it. Whoo, man, she’s brutal.”

Amy nudges him. “Some moral support!”

He grins. “That’s what partners are for, right?” But then he slips his palm into her trembling one. It’s so warm and comforting, and the opposite of what she expects that she just lets her palm stay there, limp in his enclosing fingers.

“Right,” she says, quietly. Too quietly.

"You’re going to be fine.” As he speaks, he traces gentle circles with his thumb. “She’s a bit scary, but she’s fair. You followed procedure and filed all the correct paperwork.”

“I always do.”

“You see there? Be that certain and Ol’ Norton will have nothing to find fault with.”

She nods. And he stays there, holding her hand quite literally, all the way until the bailiff comes to get her.

for future reference re: childbearing
  • damalur:http://askarsswedishmeatballs.tumblr.com/post/8848327198/im-home-it-was-a-long-long-day-i-worked-with-a d'awwww
  • damalur:"Oh and I’m definitely positively not allowed to watch his show. :)"
  • damalur:HOW IS HE SO PERFECT
  • damalur:WHY
  • damalur:HOW
  • odyle:LKDSJF:LDS
  • damalur:RIGHT?
  • damalur:HOW DOES HE EXIST
  • odyle:IT IS A MIRACLE
  • damalur:i don't think i've ever said this before, so brace yourself: i would bear that man's children
  • damalur:i would literally carry the parasites of his seed in my womb
  • damalur:i would do it happily
  • odyle:o.o
  • odyle:would you rear them as well?
  • damalur:yes
  • damalur:i would even bring them up
  • damalur:as long as there was no more than one of them
  • odyle:wow.
  • damalur:i know, i know
  • damalur:maybe even two
  • odyle:If they were far enough apart?
  • damalur:maybe even two *close in age*
  • odyle:Jesus
  • damalur:i would do sippy cups and bottles and not even hire a nanny
  • damalur:not even nanny deb, who is my favorite

[SNL | Seth/Stefon] This fic has everything: curtains, barfing, a lesbian from Pensacola, a surprise kiss at the end, and a Sunday morning that is just normal enough for Weekend Update’s city correspondent.

What little fanfic there is featuring Stefon usually sets him in an environment we’d expect of him: the club. This story reaches beyond that to show us Stefon at home. He’s still the club kid we’ve come to love, but he has Sunday mornings too. Sometimes they just turn out to be Sunday mornings with Seth. 

Watch on heisaexplosiveimplosion.tumblr.com

I love this song. I want it to be on my playlist but it never plays!

the universe where arthur bakes ariadne erotic cookies
  • OrlyOdyle:I think I want to write a college AU, but I don't know what kind of plot there would be. He's the cute guy who's the head student at the architecture library?
  • damalur:i think it'd make more sense to have him in a related but different field - design? or maybe psychology. but something research-y.
  • damalur:OR MAYBE
  • damalur:THEY'RE BOTH ARCHITECTURE STUDENTS
  • damalur:AND THEY'RE ~RIVALS~ FOR ALL THE BEST GRANTS
  • OrlyOdyle:He isn't in the department, but he has a job there. All of the majors lust after him, when they aren't dying trying to pass their classes
  • damalur:BUT HE'S SECRETLY IN LOVE WITH HER
  • OrlyOdyle:SHE DOESN'T KNOW IT
  • damalur:(STOP ME IF THIS IS TOO GOOD)
  • damalur:RIGHT? RIGHT?
  • OrlyOdyle:HE SEEMS SO COOL
  • damalur:AND THEN ONE NIGHT SHE'S ALL DESPERATE AND TIRED AND CAN'T FINISH THE DAMN GRANT PAPER
  • damalur:AND HE COMES IN AND PROOFREADS IT FOR HER AND ~REVEALS HIS LOVE~
  • damalur:THROUGH THE POWER OF PROOFREADING
  • OrlyOdyle:AND HE BRINGS HER BOBA TEA AND AN IBUPROFEN?
  • damalur:YES
  • OrlyOdyle:(I should stop inserting my own fantasies.)
  • damalur:probably me too
  • damalur:also, she drinks red bull, and he's disgusted and throws it out and proceeds to pamper her
  • OrlyOdyle:Indeed.
  • damalur:rub her feet, fetch her computer paper, that sort of thing
  • OrlyOdyle:He gets her something not served in the vending machines out in the hall.
  • damalur:HE COOKS FOR HER
  • OrlyOdyle:Possibly something from offcampus
  • damalur:AND BAKES
  • damalur:ALSO HE BAKES
  • damalur:AND COOKS
  • damalur:AND BARBECUES, I BET SHE WOULD REALLY LIKE IT IF HE BARBECUED
  • OrlyOdyle:BUT ONLY AFTER HE TAKES HER HOME WITH HIM BECAUSE SHE'S SO TIRED AFTER THE GRANT WRITING AND HE LIVES CLOSER
  • damalur:AND HE HAS THIS ENORMOUS KITCHEN AND THEN HE FEEDS HER REALLY GOOD FOOD AND COOKIES
  • damalur:EROTIC COOKIES
  • OrlyOdyle:BOW CHICKA WOW WOW
  • OrlyOdyle:AND THEN THEY DONE SEX?
  • damalur:HOW COULD SHE RESIST HIS EROTIC COOKIES?
Watch on blog.josephboyer.me

Thank you Rachel Zoe Project, not a fan but this was fun. 

[ Sherlock (BBC) | Sally Donovan/Sherlock Holmes, John Watson/Sherlock Holmes | 12k ] The real reason Sally Donovan hates Sherlock so much? They have a child he never sees.

This story dips into the mind and possible back story of a character we see in the series as only hostile. It works off of the premise that Sally had Sherlock’s child. The story conveys some of the emotional struggles of being a single mother, but also of having to deal with a person like Sherlock. 

the kink meme's prayer

St. Anon, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy pseudonym.
Thy meme be posted,
thy prompts be filled,
on LJ as they wouldn’t be on FF.net.
Give us today our daily kink,
and forgive us our gen fic,
as we forgive those who gen fic against us.
Save us from dead fandoms,
and deliver us from n00bs.
For thine is the meme,
and the archive,
and the OT post,
forever in internet years.
So say we all.

odylism said:

3, 17, 20

I did 3 & 17 already!

20. Describe your perfect writing conditions.

The closest I can get to perfect at home is: cats asleep, stomach full, and Diet Coke supply unending. I sit in a club chair I got from my grandma with my feet up on another chair and do nothing but write for as long as I can stand to sit in one spot. I actually really like to write late at night; mornings are not my thing. 

Writing for a week straight, alone in a cabin on the side of a mountain with no internet or good TV, was the actual best, and I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

And here’s the master post! Hopefully it looks okay to everybody. We agonized a bit about how to organize the fanworks, but finally decided to prioritize fanfiction (because there’s more of it). We alphabetized them, and included rating (general, teen, mature, explicit) and word count.

If we missed anything, you see any mistake or want anything done differently, don’t hesitate to contact us. And remember that we’re still tracking #skoulsonfest2k14 in case you want to add anything.

Enjoy and, again, thanks so much for all your hard work!

Read More

watching the ball scene in 'price of gold'
  • damalur:MAN I JUST LOVE HOW MUCH OF A TROLL HE IS IN THIS UPCOMING OUTFIT
  • damalur:i feel like
  • damalur:more than anything
  • damalur:this outfit is proof he went off the rails after belle left
  • odyle:lol
  • damalur:like, where did he get that
  • odyle:Insane Rumpel
  • damalur:it's so outside of his usual insane clothing
  • odyle:It is a laundry day outfit
  • damalur:by insane i mean OTT
  • damalur:LMAO
  • damalur:YES
  • damalur:HE NO LONGER HAS BELLE TO DO HIS LAUNDRY
  • damalur:AND HE'S JUST LIKE FUCK IT
  • damalur:I DON'T EVEN CARE
  • odyle:I'LL WEAR THIS
  • odyle:I GUESS IT SMELLS OKAY
  • damalur:WHATEVER IT ISN'T LIKE BELLE IS AROUND TO NOTICE HOW NICE I SMELL
  • odyle:IT WAS ON THE FLOOR. THAT'S A KIND OF STORAGE
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