I just wish that I could fade, just fade away into a dream. This isn’t a depressed feeling, it’s a welcoming thought because, everything feels wrong. Terribly wrong. Everything is neutral, I laugh and  have fun, I carry out daily tasks but it doesn’t feel like me, it’s like i’m just watching it all happen, like i’m there but i’m not. Everything feels skewed like this isn’t where I am supposed to be, everything is unfamiliar even though I have spent my entire life around it. I feel homesick even when I am at home. I want to fade,





     Because dream is so much better, so much more free than reality. A dream isn’t just a place though it’s also a feeling [a coma sound like just about the most wonderful thing right now.] and a dream makes your spirit soar, even if you cannot remember it, the feeling is still there, that wonderful feeling, like you are on top of the world…and then it’s gone you are ripped away from it be aching consciousnesses. At least that is what it’s like for me for now, being sorrowed by consciousness, feeling constantly in flux and out of place. I want so badly to just let myself fade…

But I will wait because I know it will all be worth it someday. I will be able to do all the things I dreamed, well, most of the things I dreamed. I will figure it out and  it will make all the waiting worth it, it will make the caged feeling worth it, all the nothingness worth it! I just have to be patient. Until then I just have to B R E A T H E.


“We don’t want any trouble from the summers camp. This is nuteral ground. Unless your defecting in that case boss’s office is on the 7th floor. “ It was actually somewhere diffrent and he doubted just from having done a few training sessions with wolverine that he could fool her.

10 Favorite Fictional Characters

catty-words has tagged me, so:

1) Leopold Bloom, Ulysses
2) Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass
3) Fred Nutér,
4) Rachel Angela McKnight, Electrick Children
5) Stephen Dedalus, A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
6) Oedipa Mass, The Crying of Lot 49
7) Max Jerry Horowitz, Mary and Max
8) Ignatius C. Reily, A Confederacy of Dunces
9) Mario Incandenza, Infinite Jest
10) Lady Brett Ashley, The Sun Also Rises

reasons im going to hell this very moment:
i am an atheist, polysexual, eating shrimp in a supernatural shirt that has a huge pentagram on it, jeans (“wearing clothing of the opposite sex” but lets be honest, clothes are gender-nuteral. guys can wear dresses, girls can wear jeans. who cares?) and my star sign earrings (because apparently astrology is a sin)

the-numbers-game asked:


200: My crush’s name is: I dont have a crush
199: I was born in: Dumfries 11th of March 1993
198: I am really: Anthony Shaun Francis Blandford
197: My cellphone company is: dont have a company
196: My eye color is: blue
195: My shoe size is: 10 - 11 depending on the make
194: My ring size is: u i think 
193: My height is:6′ 4″
192: I am allergic to: cats, long hair dogs and non nutered dogs
191: My 1st car was: i dont have a car but this first one i drove was a rover knightsbridge
190: My 1st job was: furniture stor
189: Last book you read: zombie survival guide
188: My bed is: 4′ 6″
187: My pet: white staffie called Bailey
186: My best friend: Shaun, Drew, Abi, Chris, 
185: My favorite shampoo is: any. as long it wash’s my hair
184: Xbox or ps3: xbox
183: Piggy banks are: alright i guess
182: In my pockets: wallet, change and a usb drive
181: On my calendar: nothing
180: Marriage is: couldnt tell you 
179: Spongebob can: dont know what to say to this lol
178: My mom: is the best mother i can ever ask for. i love her to bits
177: The last three songs I bought were? most likely metallica
176: Last YouTube video watched: new muse song Psycho
175: How many cousins do you have? Countless. Im Irish
174: Do you have any siblings? Two older brothers and a younger sister
173: Are your parents divorced? nope
172: Are you taller than your mom? yup
171: Do you play an instrument? Guitar bass drums mainly
170: What did you do yesterday? nothing
[ I Believe In ]
169: Love at first sight: i was fooled once. never again
168: Luck: yes and no
167: Fate: no
166: Yourself: of course
165: Aliens:yeah
164: Heaven: ide have to it
163: Hell: same as heaven
162: God: same
161: Horoscopes: lol no
160: Soul mates: never had the feeling so no
159: Ghosts: no
158: Gay Marriage: Yes. Yes. Yes
157: War: touchy subject
156: Orbs: ???
155: Magic: … maybe
[ This or That ]
154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs
153: Drunk or High: drunk
152: Phone or Online: either
151: Red heads or Black haired: Red Heads
150: Blondes or Brunettes: Blondes
149: Hot or cold: in between
148: Summer or winter: winter
147: Autumn or Spring: spring
146: Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate
145: Night or Day: day
144: Oranges or Apples: neither
143: Curly or Straight hair: either
142: McDonalds or Burger King: mcdonalds
141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: white
140: Mac or PC: pc
139: Flip flops or high heals: neither 
138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet and poor
137: Coke or Pepsi: coke
136: Hillary or Obama: obama
135: Burried or cremated:why would i care? lol
134: Singing or Dancing: both
133: Coach or Chanel: either. been on both
132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who???
131: Small town or Big city: either
130: Wal-Mart or Target: havnt been to either 
129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Ben stiller
128: Manicure or Pedicure: neither
127: East Coast or West Coast: west
126: Your Birthday or Christmas: christmas
125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate
124: Disney or Six Flags: disney
123: Yankees or Red Sox: yankees
[ Here’s What I Think About ]
122: War: im sure ive talked about this already
121: George Bush: idiot
120: Gay Marriage: yes
119: The presidential election: meh i dont vote for president
118: Abortion: its his and her choice
117: MySpace: never used it
116: Reality TV: shit
115: Parents: I love them soo much
114: Back stabbers: no body has tried to back stab me
113: Ebay: useful
112: Facebook: oh god
111: Work: shit
110: My Neighbors: lovely
109: Gas Prices: i dont have a car
108: Designer Clothes: lol no. 
107: College: shit
106: Sports: me? sports? okay some. rugby, hurley and moto gp. football is shit
105: My family: i love them all
104: The future: uncertain
[ Last time I ]
103: Hugged someone: my little sister
102: Last time you ate: 10 minutes ago lol
101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: Abi
100: Cried in front of someone: My friends when i was at my regular pub at a night out
99: Went to a movie theater: i cant remember
98: Took a vacation: last year. knebworth. sonisphere festival
97: Swam in a pool: i cant remember
96: Changed a diaper: never
95: Got my nails done: never
94: Went to a wedding: my brothers
93: Broke a bone: never
92: Got a peircing: never
91: Broke the law: never
90: Texted: cant remember
[ MISC ]
89: Who makes you laugh the most: Chris MacDonald
88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: Family
87: The last movie I saw: Iron Man
86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: new tattoo tomorrow
85: The thing im not looking forward to: nothing
84: People call me: Beavis, Tone (mostly), Tonytallica
83: The most difficult thing to do is: getting out of bed
82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: dont drive
81: My zodiac sign is: Pisces
80: The first person i talked to today was: Chris MacDonald
79: First time you had a crush: Primary school
78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: A few actually. Chris, mum and dad
77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: Chris
76: Right now I am talking to: No one
75: What are you going to do when you grow up: Musician
74: I have/will get a job: Car wash
73: Tomorrow: New tattoo
72: Today: nothing
71: Next Summer: moving to Edinburgh 
70: Next Weekend: Festival
69: I have these pets: Dog
68: The worst sound in the world: Feed back from speakers
67: The person that makes me cry the most is: No one
66: People that make you happy: Friends
65: Last time I cried: In the pub
64: My friends are: Fantastic. dont know what i would without them
63: My computer is: Alright
62: My School: shit
61: My Car: dont have one. but i want a Astin Mini
60: I lose all respect for people who: are ass holes 
59: The movie I cried at was: ive never cried to a movie
58: Your hair color is: Brown
57: TV shows you watch: firefly, rome, stargate sg1, star treck next gen and voyager
56: Favorite web site: youtube
55: Your dream vacation: rome
54: The worst pain I was ever in was: bladder nearly burst and my bowls stopped working
53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium - well done
52: My room is: cosy
51: My favorite celebrity is: James Hetfield
50: Where would you like to be: California
49: Do you want children: Yes
48: Ever been in love: Once. never again. unless they can convince me other wise
47: Who’s your best friend: Chris MacDonald
46: More guy friends or girl friends: I have both
45: One thing that makes you feel great is: Music
44: One person that you wish you could see right now: Anyone. Im quite lonely
43: Do you have a 5 year plan: nope
42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: Nope
41: Have you pre-named your children: Yup. Girl is Seras. Still thinking about the boy
40: Last person I got mad at: No one
39: I would like to move to: California
38: I wish I was a professional: Musician
[ My Favorites ]
37: Candy: Kinder eggs
36: Vehicle: Nissan GTR
35: President: Im not american
34: State visited: None
33: Cellphone provider: O2
32: Athlete: The Rock
31: Actor: Patrick Stewart
30: Actress: Uma Thurman
29: Singer: James Hetfield
28: Band: Metallica and Queen
27: Clothing store: None
26: Grocery store: any
25: TV show: Red Dwarf
24: Movie: The Blues Brothers
23: Website: Youtube
22: Animal: Dog
21: Theme park: Havnt been to one
20: Holiday: Butlins
19: Sport to watch: Rugby or Moto GP
18: Sport to play: Hurley
17: Magazine: None
16: Book: Zombie survival guide or Dr Halseys journal form halo
15: Day of the week: Any
14: Beach: Ive only been to one
13: Concert attended: Metallica
12: Thing to cook: Steak
11: Food: Steak
10: Restaurant: I dont know
9: Radio station: None
8: Yankee candle scent: What?
7: Perfume: Davidoff cool water or alure sport
6: Flower: couldnt tell you
5: Color: Royal Blue
4: Talk show host: I dont watch talk shows
3: Comedian: Reginald D Hunter, Omid Djalili, Frankie Boyle, Russel Howard, Dara O’brian, Jimmy Carr, Billy Connaly
2: Dog breed: Staffie and Alsatian
1: did you answer all these truthfully ?  Yes. each single answer is true.


This is the cup I painted at “As You Wish” it’s a place where you can paint pottery/cups/bowls/plates/glass/etc. Obviously I got a beer mug (because it was big xD) and painted Cat on it! The colors are slightly off but look way off on camera ;; over all I’m proud of this! (It’s hard painting on a cup with a time limit of 1 hour. That’s why the lines are pretty bad ;; and I messed up on the ear and arms and on the right eye //sobs )

anonymous asked:

So are you gender queer/nuteral because your blog says [Him/Her]

it says he/him, so I’m not genderqueer or neutral, or at least I think so. I’m only 16 so I still have time to figure stuff out, but im a guy until I figure out otherwise :)