• Me:*banging on Drakes front door*
  • Me*ringing the doorbell* I know you hear me out here nigga!
  • Drake:*opens the door* What the hell are you doing?? Its 3 am
  • Me:first of ball dont yell @ me. Second I texted you 10 times in the last 15 minutes you cant respond?????
  • Drake:What are you talking about?
  • Me:And the phone is closer to you than the door so I dont kno why you playin games wit me like im stupid.
  • Drake:I was slee-
  • Me:SLEEPIN WITH YA OTHA HOES! I KNEW IT! *pushes in past him*
  • Me:Thank you for inviting me inside by the way Aubrey. You are so rude.
  • Drake:How did you even get here so fast you live an hour away
  • Me:I have been sittin outside in my car for 20 minutes bc I knew u was a dog and that u would ignore my text messages.
  • Me:*lookin around* so where they at?
  • Drake:Where is who??
  • Me:Your other hoes stop actin stupid!
  • Drake:*sighs* I do not have other hoes
  • Me:OH so imma hoe now???
  • Drake:What? N-
  • Me:You would think that you'd have more respect for the mother of your unborn child but I guess not..
  • Drake:Unborn child?
  • Me:Yeah thats what the text messages was about you gonna be a daddy.*sits on his couch* Congratulations or whatever.
  • Drake:You could have called me for that
  • Me:I ain't have to call you thats what texting is for dumbass?? anyway niggas is hongry what you got to eat? And dont forget im eating for 2 now..unless this baby got a twin then im eatin for 3

these situations make me feel so awful because as a white person, i will never have to go through the oppression POCs have to battle daily. i’m extremely apologetic for the actions and words of other whites and those who try to tell you that you don’t have a right to be offended. you’re all so wonderful and deserve so much more than people who don’t belong to your culture slandering you and making jokes of things that you have grown up with because of your cultural background. that’s really fucking disgusting. i am in awe and admire those of you who kick ass every day. 

If anyone else had asked me to hide a murder weapon inside of my ass I would’ve refused but I’m a freak and it was Drake lol
—  Me, sometime in the near future.
  • baby:w.... wa....
  • mom:water? walk? what are you saying, dear?
  • baby:what the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? i’ll have you know i graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and i’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on al-quaeda, and i have over 300 confirmed kills. i am trained in gorilla warfare and i’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. you are nothing to me but just another target. i will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this earth, mark my fucking words. you think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the internet? think again, fucker. as we speak i am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. the storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. you’re fucking dead, kid. i can be anywhere, anytime, and i can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. not only am i extensively trained in unarmed combat, but i have access to the entire arsenal of the united states marine corps and i will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. if only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. but you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. i will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. you’re fucking dead, kiddo.