nsa-(1)

Agents Weston and Jones go investigating

Gilbert was enjoying a lie in one morning, when he was rudely interrupted by some persistent knocking at his flat’s front door.

“Go away!” he shouted grumpily. The knocking continued.

“Fine…” he sighed. He hauled himself out of bed, threw on his dressing gown, shuffled over to the door and opened it. To his surprise, Sarah Weston, the MI5 agent he had met in the park, was standing in the doorway. He could hardly recognise her now though, as instead of her scruffy hoodie from before, she was wearing a smart black suit and skirt, and her hair was no longer quite so erratic. She was still clutching a bag of donuts for some reason. Her smart clothes made Gilbert feel rather self-conscious in his scruffy old rainbow striped dressing gown.

“Good morning!” she brightly greeted him. Gilbert inwardly groaned. He hated morning people and by the smile on her face, she clearly must be one. “Are you ready to begin your training?”

“No,” Gilbert replied, preparing to shut the door. “It’s like 8 am I’m not even ready to begin consciousness.”

“Well too bad,” she said as she smartly put her foot in the way of the closing door. “I have no idea how long I’ll be in the area for so we’ve got to make the most of what time we have.” She moved past Gilbert and into his flat.

Reluctantly, Gilbert let her, and closed the door behind her. She was right. “Yes, you’re right Sarah,” he admitted.

“Course I am, I’m always right!” she cheerfully replied while taking a seat at his table. “And it’s Agent Weston today, since we’re going to be using the badges.”

“Why are we -“Gilbert began, but was cut off.

“Just get dressed and then I can explain on the way. How long will it take you to get your suit on?”

“Um… 15 minutes?”

“Well you had better hurry up because we’re leaving in 5.”

************************************

“So where are we going?” asked Gilbert as he gripped his car seat. The way Agent Preston drove her Mini (red with the Union Flag on top of course) was… ‘erratic’, if you were being kind. ‘Terrifying’ if you were being honest.

“To the Supernatural writer’s headquarters,” replied Agent Weston as she casually swerved to avoid some kids who were crossing the road.

Gilbert made a strangled noise. He couldn’t go back there! Not after what a disaster last time had been…

“You alright, Agent Jones?” she asked with something that may have been concern in her voice. It was hard to tell, because there was also a lot of amusement. “You look a bit sickly…”

Gilbert just swallowed. God, how could he ever show his face there again?  What if he saw Jeremy? Or the NHI? Or worse… both? From what he had gathered, those two were pretty close, so it was almost certain NHI would have told Jeremy about the kiss, or someone else would have. He had been planning to conduct his investigation from afar and only confront the NHI when he had proof of his identity and a means of stopping him, but now that plan was crashing around his ears.

Thankfully, Agent Weston didn’t seem to notice his internal turmoil and instead took his fear of going to the writers HQ as fear of her awful driving. “Don’t worry Agent Jones; we’ve got seatbelts and everything, so we’ll be fine.”

Hearing her attitude did not improve Gilbert’s mental state.

“Anyway,” she continued, confident that she had allayed her trainee’s fears. “When we get there, we need to have a look around and meet as many of the staff as possible. We need to work out who ships what, who has the authority to change the canon, and who we can convince to help us.”

“I’ve already done an investigation like this,” protested Gilbert. “Do we really need to do another?”
“Yes, because you haven’t done it with me,” Agent Weston firmly said, while overtaking a lorry so close Gilbert was sure he could hear the paint scratching off. “But that’s good that you’ve made a start.”

 **********************************

When they arrived, Agent Weston got out the car, started walking towards the building, then stopped and turned around. “I just thought of something,” she said. “How good is your English accent?”

“Pretty good if you ask me,” replied Gilbert in a terrible English accent.

Agent Weston made a face. “I guess I’ll have to do my American accent then,” she said, in a way that sounded more Australian than anything else. “Or maybe not,” she realised. “Just leave most of the talking to me. Is it likely they will know you here from your previous investigation?”

Gilbert thought back to the scene he had caused last time. “Yeah…” he admitted. “Almost certainly.”

“Great! That gives me a good excuse to be with a member of the NSA!”

“It does?”

“Of course.”
Without explaining any further, Agent Weston turned starting striding towards the entrance, leaving Gilbert to hurry after her.

****************************

“Agent Weston, MI5, official business.” Agent Weston showed her badge to Jim the security guard.

“Agent Jones, NS-“

“Hey! Gilbert, right?” Jim interrupted. “Haven’t seen ya around in a while, lover boy!”

“Uhh yes well you see…” stammered Gilbert.

“Well if ya with him I’ve gotta let ya in, don’t I?” laughed Jim to a confused Agent Weston. “D’ya  need someone to show ya round?”

“Yes, a guide would be most helpful, thank you,” replied Agent Weston, trying to look professional while at the same time giving confused looks to a squirming Gilbert.

“Sure thing Agent, I’ll go get one of the interns for ya.”

As Jim walked down the corridor, leaving them alone, Agent Weston crossed her arms. “That was nice of him,” she said. “But I didn’t even get to use my awesome cover story about searching for the illuminati…”

She sounded so despondent that Gilbert momentarily postponed his plans of getting the hell out of there and instead felt compelled to cheer her up. Despite all her big talk, he remembered, she hadn’t actually had any experience in the field yet, and had probably been looking forwards to it.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure someone will ask you what you’re doing here,” he said kindly.

“Of course they will, I knew that,” she snapped, but Gilbert knew she had perked up a lot. “Isn’t it exciting to be at the actual Supernatural writers HQ? I mean… obviously I’ve been to loads of writer’s HQ’s…” She coughed. “But these are the most interesting! I wonder who we’ll see…”

As she slipped out patronizing agent mode and into excitable fangirl mode, Gilbert started silently walking towards the door. If he could just get out of there without her noticing, he could run across the road to the bus stop and catch the first bus to ‘place-that-isn’t-here-ville’. From there he could –

“Hey, where are you going?”

Gilbert froze.

“Look, Jim’s coming back now, and he’s got someone to show us around!”

Slowly, Gilbert turned around. Sure enough, Jim was lumbering along the corridor and behind him…

“Oh no…” Gilbert breathed. He had to get out of there, but it was too late. Agent Weston had grabbed his arm and pulled him round to meet their guide.

“Here ya go, one intern guide!” proudly announced Jim. “He’ll be with ya all day, showing ya round and introducing folks.”

“I’m Agent Weston, MI5, this is Agent Jones, NSA,” Agent Weston said professionally. Suddenly she flipped back into fangirl mode. “Hey, nice hat!”

“Thanks.” The intern adjusted his adventure-time-Finn-style-hat, tucking one of his blonde curls back under it. He caught Gilbert’s eye and winked. “They call me the NHI.”

cowjazz asked:

First name: Ray; Gender: 100% manly man i'm pretty sure; Nationality: *picture of an eagle with a single tear running down its cheek*; A band/artist you like: would Nervous Pudding be a safe guest; One thing you like: caricatures; One thing you dislike: I'm not sure I know you well enough for that; Random fact about you: people love making puns with your name

Name: Holy shit how did you guess +1

Gender: Damn u right again +1

Nationality: FUUUUCK u NSA’n me +1

Band: Hahah I don’t like them they never paid me for my HARD ASS WORK 0

Like: Well JOKES ON YOU I hate them it’s just my job. Well no that’s a lie I enjoy em I’ll give it to you +1

Dislike: FAIR NUFF (The answer was Doctor Who) 0

Fact: I don’t think I’ve heard quite enough RAYG jokes yet please tell more +1

5/9, not bad person on the internet who I don’t think I’ve ever met in real life but man I’m gonna feel bad if I’m incorrect about that so please don’t tell me!

ГДЕ УЧАТ НА МИЛЛИОНЕРОВ. Главный принцип обучения богатых и успешных

Получайте свежие посты по Е-мейл Подпишитесь на блог Николая!

Подпишитесь на ежедневный аудиоподкаст в iTunes: http://j.mp/TrueSuccess-iTunes

КРАТКОЕ СОДЕРЖАНИЕ:

1. Когда вы оказываетесь в окружении людей более успешных, хотите вы этого или нет, но неизбежно происходит ваша трансформация.

2. Один из самых простых способов поменять свою жизнь и совершать прорывы за прорывами — взять свое тело и переместить его в окружение более успешных людей. Людей, которые думают шире и мыслят масштабнее!

3. Хотите лучшей жизни? Поместите себя в окружение более успешных людей и позвольте новому окружению сделать личностную трансформацию вас!

4. Попадая в окружение более успешных людей, никогда не знаешь, что с тобой произойдет, но происходит чудо и ты возвращаешься оттуда НОВЫМ.

5. Каждый раз, когда я оказываюсь в окружении более успешных людей, я сам  меняюсь.

6. Кто те люди, которых вы сейчас «избегаете», но точно знаете — рядом с ними вы сами стали бы лучше?

Что нужно уже успешному человеку, чтобы постоянно ментально и интеллектуально быть «в тонусе»?

Keep reading

icarlydotcorn asked:

1, 3, 6, 9, 13, 14, 17, 18, 21, 26, 27, 28, 29!

>> so many questions, is this the NSA???

1: A song you like with a color in the title

A Lack of Color by Death Cab for Cutie (see what I did there????)

3: A song that reminds you of summertime

Summertime Sadness by Lana del Ray (lol)

Also Ya’alili by 8th day, because it is a song that we listen and dance to at camp

6: A song that makes you want to dance

Shut Up and Dance by Walk the Moon (it’s just got such a good beat!)

Also Bet My Life by Imagine Dragons, for the same reason

9: A song that makes you happy

One of those Days by Joy Williams

13: One of your favorite 80’s songs

Livin’ On a Prayer by Bon Jovi

14: A song that you would love played at your wedding

If I Never See Your Face Again by Maroon 5

JK haha it would probably be Goodnight Moon by Go Radio

17: A song that would sing a duet with on karaoke

Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen, no contest there

18: A song from the year that you were born

Follow You Down by Gin Blossoms (this is actually a really good song to listen to at any point ever, 10/10 would recommend)

21: A favorite song with a person’s name in the title

Hey Jude by the Beatles

26: A song that makes you want to fall in love

Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran

27: A song that breaks your heart

A Drop in the Ocean by Ron Pope

28: A song by an artist with a voice that you love

Give Me Love by Ed Sheeran

29: A song that you remember from your childhood

Fergalicious by Fergie 

5 Insane Devices for Monitoring Your Kids

We’re in the midst of a tech revolution that’s changing childhood for the worse. It’s the constant digital surveillance of our kids. Here are five devices that are turning moms and dads into the NSA.

(1) Today there are literally hundreds of baby monitors on the market that stream live video, and many are infrared so you can peer in the dark as your baby snoozes under his Mozart mobile. Some models pivot and tilt, which seems like the sort of tool that might appeal to Seal Team 6. But parents?

(2) Then there are all the gadgets you can attach to your baby, like the Owlet monitor. Do you know your blood oxygen level? Why are we treating healthy babies like they need neonatal intensive care? 

(3) Making parents afraid for their kids is a goldmine for companies, which explains the coming arrival of Smart Diapers that help parents analyze the chemical content of their babies’ output. Because how dare you toss such a vital diagnostic specimen just into the Diaper Genie?

(4) Once the kids venture out, there’s a tsunami of tracking devices that allow parents to strap the equivalent of an FBI ankle bracelet onto their offspring. One of these is V. ALRT, which can detect if your kid falls down. Can you imagine how anxiety inducing—and yet completely useless—this will be? “Warning your child has fallen. Commence feeling bad.“

(5) The new Apple Watch is a revolutionary device, but I worry it could turn into the Swiss Army Knife of tracking tools—video feeds, GPS locators, biometric sensors.

These gadgets promise they’ll give parents peace of mind, but they do the exact opposite. They create constant fear—fear so great that you believe you must buy these things or your child is in grave danger. Once you’ve become convinced that your happy, healthy baby in her crib needs blood oxygen monitoring—or that you need to track your teen’s heart rate and GPS on a date, which is too disgusting to think about, you’ll be a total wreck. Meantime, your kids feel all the joy of a prisoner under house arrest.

Saying, “these devices provide peace of mind,” is like saying, “this box of mosquitoes will provide a good night’s sleep.” Do not open the box.

About 3 minutes and 22 seconds.

Written by Lenore Skenazy and Jim Epstein. Produced, shot, and edited by Jim Epstein, with help from Anthony L. Fisher and Dan Rogenstein.

Scroll down for downloadable versions of this video, and subscribe to Reason TV’s YouTube channel for daily content like this.


from http://reason.com/reasontv/2015/04/13/5-insane-devices-for-tracking-your-kids

2 4 15 #RootCat #Ascii #ASCiiART #twitterart #Gif  #One #Two #Zero #binary #gifart enjoy! #sticky #fingers like a (Bob Dylan joke) Rolling Stones release (funny gif contribution) #RootCat  #art #dubstyle #takeitasitcomes (>^_^<) #reflect #NSA (publ. 1/999 “finger touch reflect” by RootGif @RootCat) 

#read this #quick #kick #‎EXPLICIT with #‎TWO #‎FRAMES : RootCat#‎Binary from #‎One #two*#‎Zero — note *: two for To • note 2: #‎Too for too #‎also >^_^< #‎enjoy #‎gif 4 two and 2 for gif #‎NSA #‎jnsp (je ne sais pas) #idnk (I do not know) special serial of 999 gifies ;-)

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5 Insane Devices for Monitoring Your Kids

5 Insane Devices for Monitoring Your Kids

By Lenore Skenazy

We’re in the midst of a tech revolution that’s changing childhood for the worse. It’s the constant digital surveillance of our kids. Here are five devices that are turning moms and dads into the NSA.

(1) Today there are literally hundreds of baby monitors on the market that stream live video, and many are infrared so you can peer in the dark as your baby snoozes under his…

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5 Insane Devices for Monitoring Your Kids

We’re in the midst of a tech revolution that’s changing childhood for the worse. It’s the constant digital surveillance of our kids. Here are five devices that are turning moms and dads into the NSA.

(1) Today there are literally hundreds of baby monitors on the market that stream live video, and many are infrared so you can peer in the dark as your baby snoozes under his Mozart mobile. Some models pivot and tilt, which seems like the sort of tool that might appeal to Seal Team 6. But parents?

(2) Then there are all the gadgets you can attach to your baby, like the Owlet monitor. Do you know your blood oxygen level? Why are we treating healthy babies like they need neonatal intensive care? 

(3) Making parents afraid for their kids is a goldmine for companies, which explains the coming arrival of Smart Diapers that help parents analyze the chemical content of their babies’ output. Because how dare you toss such a vital diagnostic specimen just into the Diaper Genie?

(4) Once the kids venture out, there’s a tsunami of tracking devices that allow parents to strap the equivalent of an FBI ankle bracelet onto their offspring. One of these is V. ALRT, which can detect if your kid falls down. Can you imagine how anxiety inducing—and yet completely useless—this will be? “Warning your child has fallen. Commence feeling bad.“

(5) The new Apple Watch is a revolutionary device, but I worry it could turn into the Swiss Army Knife of tracking tools—video feeds, GPS locators, biometric sensors.

These gadgets promise they’ll give parents peace of mind, but they do the exact opposite. They create constant fear—fear so great that you believe you must buy these things or your child is in grave danger. Once you’ve become convinced that your happy, healthy baby in her crib needs blood oxygen monitoring—or that you need to track your teen’s heart rate and GPS on a date, which is too disgusting to think about, you’ll be a total wreck. Meantime, your kids feel all the joy of a prisoner under house arrest.

Saying, “these devices provide peace of mind,” is like saying, “this box of mosquitoes will provide a good night’s sleep.” Do not open the box.

About 3 minutes and 22 seconds.

Written by Lenore Skenazy and Jim Epstein. Produced, shot, and edited by Jim Epstein, with help from Anthony L. Fisher and Dan Rogenstein.

Scroll down for downloadable versions of this video, and subscribe to Reason TV’s YouTube channel for daily content like this. http://goo.gl/iDXPuj

Ngaun ko lang nalaman na nag asawa na pala si Channing Tantum. At si Jenna Dewan ang asawa nya! Kyaaah ^____^ sila ang nsa step up 1.

Kill it or not the NSA was caught hacking 1 of the 2 worldwide makers of smartphone sim chips (they surely just didn’t get caught hacking the other) and now knows who has which sim and can create a clone of your smartphone any time they like. I’d love to see the program go away but the toothpaste isn’t going back into the tube and until people recognize what’s being taken from them and care more about taking it back than they do about making a status update big brother can continue eroding our liberties unchallenged.

Rand Paul Promises To End NSA spying ‘On Day One’ Of His Presidency

Rand Paul Promises To End NSA spying ‘On Day One’ Of His Presidency

Rand Paul promises to end NSA spying ‘on day one’ of his presidency

AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster

Rand Paul already has his first day in the White House all planned out. Step 1: end NSA spying.

During his speech Tuesday announcing his candidacy, Paul promised to end the “unconstitutional surveillance” of Americans “immediately.”

“The president created this vast dragnet by executive order. And as…

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