Chocolate Beetroot Brownies/Lava Cake

Been getting complaints (read: one complaint) that I don’t do enough desert on this blog so I figured last night was as good as any. I spent the whole fucking week trying to really get into the science of what makes a brownie dense and fudgey and I came to two conclusions. Don’t beat those eggs, minimal flour, and never ever fucking use baking powder, also please don’t fall victim to the #1 continental American culinary trap … overcooking. This isn’t a piece of meat, it wont kill you if it’s a bit underdone (honestly neither will the chicken unless you prepped it in a landfill). Also I took a note from one of my favorite blogs and added beetroots to the mix. I love beets (a-ie-ooo killer tofu). 

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I’m also a dark chocolate nut, so nice chocolate (70% cacoa/cocoa/coco/kookoo/whatismylife) was a necessity

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OK so I spent all that time and thought into these brownies and I believe adding the second egg (recipe calls for one) in an attempt to up the “richness” factor might have been a miscall.

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Psyche. It was fucking genius. The extra moisture and upped “richness factor”® turned this baby into a chocolate beetroot “lava cake” (not sure if that’s the proper culinary term) which I’m, honestly, just as happy with.

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Had I known I was birthing this beaut I would’ve cooked it for a shorter time to really bring out the lava… but as you can see the middle is very moist and sort of spills out onto the plate. This is perfectly alright with me. Beets and chocolate should be like PB&J but we live in a backward and paranoid country and beets and chocolate gets you sent to Guantanamo Bay so there’s that. Whatever, fuck it, where’s my salted vanilla ice cream?

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Oh there it is. Now I can enjoy this while I cry because I have 0 friends. 

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