It hit me suddenly on the 1st rainy night in Saigon.
Comfort of all these days became illusion, so i spent a white night on the rooftop of the building we’re living in. same block but never show up.
After blocking every single person related to you that i thought whom might update anything that possibly hurt me to see your happiness, i finally found it was easier to run away and hide from things rather than face to them. But I guess I was wrong, again, as usual.
Isolation sounds like a good idea in theory but a bad experience in real.
I know, what we had was not even close-up to any kind of relationship or affair. and certainly I have no idea how long or how much pain it would take for you to get over your last relationship. I just do believe that you struggled like i do now.
I also realized how much trouble i caused for both of us and people around. But for the best, I sincerely hope that if you can read these lines, do not ever be nice to each other. I’ve tried and denied that sad fact. Because the truth is, whenever we communicated as normal people - as old friends, I considered it as lies.
The obsession grew so big that even I could manage myself to behave but voices of anger in my mind just want to smile and tell you “you have no idea how much it hurts just by seeing your face. even your existence around causes me pain. For once in life, i wish nothing happened between us. And for long time from now, the remember of you will always be the exquisite hurtful scar in my brain which never would disappear.