I hide myself in bad decisions
Then show myself in bits and pieces
in the empty spaces between the words
that escape from my head and pen.
When I can’t bear to live inside my head
any longer, I escape through other channels.
When a burning light isn’t enough to cloud
the fog of heavy thoughts that fill the space
between my eyes, I escape through someone
else’s skin. When the need for sleep is betrayed
by the various plagues set on by nightly terrors,
I look for distraction by someone else’s moans,
hoping to drown out patience’s clanging cries.
When being myself becomes too heavy,
I lose my sights in another’s hungry eyes.
When hurting myself is no longer an option,
When emotion and intimacy can’t be mustered,
I pray for patience by finding another meaningless
When love grows to be too much, I do my best
to lose myself in someone else’s temporary lust.