"We need to use our own two feet to walk these tracks, And we have to squad up and we have to watch each others backs. With forgiveness is our torch and imagination our sword, Well I’ll tie the ropes of hate and slash open the minds of the bored…and we’ll start a world so equal and free. Every inch of this earth is yours all the land and all the sea. Imagine no restrictions but the climate and the weather. Then we can explore space together… Forever”
The Nintendocore fan refuses to let go of the video games from his youth, however, his dedication leaves him trapped in an 8-bit world in his parents basement without a warp pipe to escape.
This old school cellar dweller won’t touch a controller that has more than two buttons, even after all of his friends and game developers themselves, have abandoned ship. Don’t ask these retro gamers to share their joypad, old titles were rarely multiplayer and you can bet his social skills are lacking because of it. Time away from his console is usually spent rereading back issues of Nintendo Power or soldering old RF cables together. The music in his playlist consists entirely of instruments from the nintendo universe, such as a hacked Game Boy, Mario Paint and songs he’s composed on his Ocarina iPhone app.
If this pixel pusher ever has a problem operating something, he will attempt to fix it in the only way he knows how: flip it over, flick it with his pointer finger, then blow in it. This poor gamer suffers from a chronic blistering “NES thumb” from endless Super Mario Brothers time trials, but at least he’s got a top rated YouTube video to show for it. In the event that his current system fails him, he keeps an unopened NES in a safety deposit box, courtesy of his parents.
The Nintendocore fan dreams of one day becoming a game tester or perhaps even a reviewer, however, after a 20 year 8-bit coma, adjusting to the complex controllers of today is near impossible. He will eventually follow his destiny, become a plumber and defend the original works of Shigeru Miyamoto to his death.