nightingale;confession

To all black kids: Be as weird as you want. Listen to all the indie/rock/classical/punk music you like. Wear crazy ass clothes, bright colors or all black if you want. Push the limits of blackness and become tormented artists, aspiring writers, thoughtful visionaries. Shout your feelings from the rooftops; care for plants; create love with every move you make. Do all the things considered “normal” for white kids to do and “weird” for black kids to do and twist them into your own; squeeze them to fit between the boundaries of normal and weird. Do not fear your color and the heavy stigma it carries. But most of all, don’t let anyone ever tell you “that’s a white person thing”. Fuck that noise.

Everyone is problematic in one way or another; it is simply part of being human. Likewise, all forms of media are problematic too, and it’s okay to like problematic things as long as you are able to maturely analyze why it’s problematic. And even then, you only have to do that sometimes, when the problematic nature of the content comes into discussion. There are times when you’re allowed to just enjoy things for what they are. However, I think the Black community needs to realize that there’s a big difference between liking something that’s problematic and liking something that is actively and overtly contributing to the culture of our oppression. You wouldn’t laugh at a minstrel show while brushing it off as one of your “problematic faves”, so why would you think it’s okay to enjoy the vocal equivalent of blackface herself, Iggy? How can you say you’re here for the empowerment of Black women, especially if you’re a Black woman yourself, when you listen to misogynist songs like “I Don’t F*ck With You”, “These Hoes Ain’t Loyal”, and “Paranoid” (which features lyrics explicitly promoting colorism and the fetishization of non-Black WoC)?

Stop calling things “problematic” when they are really just overtly racist/sexist/homophobic/colorist, etc. Call it what is is, instead of just covering it with this “problematic” blanket that encompasses literally all human beings.

"Writing Disney fanfiction was my first attempt at writing anything. I was bad, but the fandom was so nice about helping me get better. I just got the news today the final version of my first book is going to print, and I’ve been listening to Disney songs and crying happy tears ever since. Thank you, Disney, for giving me the strength to dream and the courage to try"

I’m in my senior year of high school and a (white) friend of mine (whose parents make over $500,000) found out she got into Yale. I’m a bit bitter bc we both went to the same elementary school but we lived on opposite sides of town. She then moved to a “better” neighborhood  (which meant away from the black folk). She got a nearly perfect SAT score bc she got help from tutors. She got to take AP classes bc her school can affor to offer it. She had an essay coach read over her college essays before she submitted them.

What about me? My school can’t afford AP classes so I couldn’t take any. My SAT broke a school record but it is not really that great compared to kids around the country. I’m actually amazed that I scored that high bc I could only study w old SAT prep books. I work (I used to work two part-time jobs but my grades started to fall) to support my mom’s income (just so you can know how bad it is, my family of 7 only makes $40,000 a yr). My dad is disabled and I’m the oldest so I have to take care of him. Even if I get into college, I have no idea how I’ll pay for it. If I go to college, who will take care of my dad? None of my siblings are old enough to carry him or bathe him. Who will work to help ends meet? But if I don’t go to college, I can’t achieve my dream of becoming a biomedical engineer and help break the cycle of poverty in my family.

(Sorry if I’m starting to sound like a sob story. I know my life is great compared to others. I just need to rant / confess right now.)

I just feel like the odds are stacked against me. I work harder than my friend ever has, and she gets rewarded w Yale while I am rewarded w the uncertainty of my family’s and my own future. I know I should be happy for my friend, and I’m not saying she doesn’t deserve to go to Yale bc she does. She works hard and is very smart. But if I were in her shoes and had halfthe opportunities she has had, I know I could do much more than I have. 

It’s not fair. It’s just not fair.