So the whole Hetastuck thing had me thinking “how would the nations look if they were trolls?” and that… ended up escalating quickly.

My Troll!England Headcanons

-He’s a limeblood. His eyes are already that color in canon and Tony calls him “fucking limey”, so it wasn’t a hard decision (Plus England is always such a special snowflake).

-Pirate troll because pirate England is the best England.

-Union Jack Horns!

-Even as a troll he would be able to see all kind of mythical and generally invisible creatures. I imagine his lusus being one of these things (making everyone else assume that troll England is batshit crazy and extremely lonely).

-Just like the original England he had a very painful and complicated childhood (it’s mentioned that limebloods were hunted to extinction by the other trolls right?).

-I’m making him look cool here but he also has a very lame side haha.

That’s what I love about England anyways.

-Just like The Dolorosa, he’s a rare example of a troll that raised another troll (you know who).


I can’t really decide on a mythological role for him… England could easily fit as a Knight, Mage, Thief or Seer. What do you guys think?