That Gilmore Girls watching snuggle party turned into a sleepover. I ended up with about 9” width of that king size bed, and listened to a dog and a tween snore like a couple of drunks all night. Woke at 1am because Aunt Flo arrived on my doorstep — maybe that was why I felt like hurling all afternoon and evening. I tried to go back to sleep after the beast got up to be let out and fed when Chris was getting ready for work, but the cramps and the overworking list-maker in my mind sent me to the kitchen to make some coffee and assess the situation.
I was told the sold sign got put up in front of my house. My house.
My house! I’m hoping I get the call that I can pick up the keys by lunchtime so I can run to the Bomb Shelter to pick up my table and chairs and drop them off, then run the pile of boxes in this dining room over there. Of course, it’s supposed to rain all day today and tomorrow.
Then Lila and her friend can peel stickers off the walls in her room while I clean out the fridge and paint the bathroom. I have to be there for a delivery tomorrow (the bullseye rug, which goes under the table and chairs), and will knock out the bedroom paint then.
Somewhere in there I need to wrap gifts and make Christmas dinner. I decided last night as I was clutching my gut trying not to vomit that Swedish meatballs are not happening. I don’t even have the ingredients, and it’s so much labor. Maybe I’ll make a small batch for NYE, but for Christmas, I’ll roast one of the whole chickens I got from Ami’s farm, and do up a potato-turnip gratin and a green salad and call it good enough. If I’m really ambitious (doubtful, but you never know) I’ll make a gingerbread with honeyed whipped cream for dessert. Ty is coming to dinner and we will attempt to have some sort of nice time all together. I may go back over to the house in the evening to do some unpacking and hang up the beaded snowflakes my Aunt Ginny made for me in some of the windows.
Friday we can build the loft bed and move more stuff, and that day her mattress gets delivered. I’ll sleep on my aero bed until my memory foam (!!!!) mattress gets delivered on NYE. I’ll draw a bath with some dead sea salts and a lush bath bomb (the whole thing, not cut in half like I usually do), and I’ll crack open the Stone Enjoy By 12-26-14 (on the last enjoy by day) that my Tacos peeps gave to me with some cash and a beautiful hand lettered tag for a Christmas gift.
I will wake up in my new home for the first time on Saturday, and make my pour over coffee with a bit of Ceylon cinnamon shaken over the grounds, and use my new milk frothing wand for the steamed half and half. Maybe I will take a walk around the new neighborhood. Unpack some more. Come back here for more loads. Do some cleaning here.
It will all be OK. I’m going to allow myself to feel good about this starting right now. No more self-loathing. I did everything I knew to do to try to fix it, and it wasn’t enough. This is the only life I get, so I’m going to open my heart and live it with love.