PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE MERMAID

A MAN AND HIS WIFE LIVE IN SOME CUTE LITTLE COTTAGE BY THE SEA. HE’S A FUCKING IDIOT AND DOESN’T NOTICE THERE’S A MERMAID WHO LIKES TO HANG OUT ON A ROCK NEARBY, BECAUSE SHE ONLY SINGS AT NIGHT AND HE’S A DEEP SLEEPER.

WHEN THEY HAVE A BABY THE LITTLE SHIT WON’T STOP CRYING AT NIGHT AND THE WHOLE FAMILY ARE ANGRY AND CONFUSED (A NATURAL REACTION TO A NOISY BIRTHLING).EVENTUALLY THEY REALISE THAT THE BABY IS CRYING BECAUSE THEIR FUCKING FRIENDLY NEIGHBOURHOOD MERMAID WON’T SHUT THE FUCK UP WHEN BITCHES ARE TRYING TO SLEEP.

THE FATHER SENDS SOMEONE TO TELL HER, VERY POLITELY, TO SHUT THE FUCK UP. SHE TELLS HIM TO FUCK OFF AND KEEPS SINGING, BUT THIS TIME HER SINGING IS EVEN LOUDER AND MORE ANNOYING.

SHE IS REPEATEDLY ASKED TO SHUT UP BUT KEEPS SINGING LOUDER, UNTIL EVENTUALLY THE FAMILY GO OUT AND DESTROY THE MERMAID’S FAVOURITE CHILL-OUT SPOT BECAUSE THEY ARE A COMPLETE BUNCH OF DICKS.

THE MERMAID KEEPS SINGING. THEN SHE GETS INTO SCREAMO SHIT AND SCREAMS SO FUCKING LOUD THAT THE BABY DIES. DON’T ANGER MERMAIDS THEY ARE VINDICTIVE SHITS.

"Everything about this book is different from anything else you have ever read." Can’t Put it Down Book Review. 

"The world literally comes alive under his skill, immersing the reader in this strange island world." CS Fantasy Review.

"The author wasn’t simply telling a story. He created, constructed and described a panorama of complex characters, actions and locations, which were carefully directed to evolve in a manner reminding me of past masters of fiction." Flying With Red Haircrow Review.

"To paraphrase Martin Lawrence’s character near the end of Bad Boys II ‘now thats you write! From now on, thats how you write!’" Books to Drink By Review. 

From my first novel, Lilith’s Tears. The book is out now and available as:

** Amazon.com Kindle - Amazon.com Paperback - Barnes and Noble Nook - iBookstore - Lulu General eBook - Amazon.co.uk Kindle - Amazon.co.uk Paperback **

"Everything about this book is different from anything else you have ever read." Can’t Put it Down Book Review. 

"The world literally comes alive under his skill, immersing the reader in this strange island world." CS Fantasy Review.

"The author wasn’t simply telling a story. He created, constructed and described a panorama of complex characters, actions and locations, which were carefully directed to evolve in a manner reminding me of past masters of fiction." Flying With Red Haircrow Review.

"To paraphrase Martin Lawrence’s character near the end of Bad Boys II ‘now thats you write! From now on, thats how you write!’" Books to Drink By Review. 

From my first novel, Lilith’s Tears. The book is out now and available as:

** Amazon.com Kindle - Amazon.com Paperback - Barnes and Noble Nook - iBookstore - Lulu General eBook - Amazon.co.uk Kindle - Amazon.co.uk Paperback **

you know i love coffee shop aus and the like but can we just consider:

  • merperson caught in a fisher’s net au
  • rival dragon riders au
  • bumped into each other while watching a street magic performance au
  • got drunk and broke into a dragon guarded tower together au
  • stole a sacred artifact from a witch and now i have to hunt you down au
  • well, you try talking some sense into the bridge troll au
  • pegasus joy riding au
  • werewolf gladiators au
  • we’re both cleaning up the ocean because our friends/parents are making us merperson au
  • your kiss broke a sirens spell au
  • my folks are making you steal a griffin feather to prove your love but that’s not stopping me from going with you au
  • i just fell in love with my magic mirror au
  • kidnapped by a band of magical golden hearted thieves au
  • first pet dragon au

ridiculous fluff fantasy aus okay don’t hold back go for gold

3

Hellam Township in York, Pennsylvania is one of many places in the world where there is said to be an entrance to hell. The legend, called the Seven Gates of Hell, features a series of gates, or portals, that when gone through reveal the entrance to hell.

There are two popular versions of the urban legend. One involves an insane asylum that caught fire, allowing inmates to escape where many of them became trapped inside the gates, which they still haunt today. The other involves a mad local doctor who owned the land on which the gates are supposedly built on, and it was he that built the gates. 

There was never an asylum in the area it was claimed to be, and the doctor, though a real person, only built one gate to keep trespassers out. The area receives a lot of trespassers today, people hoping to find the famed entrance to hell.

Reject all that would soil this, our most hallowed time

It is October and we, the wicked, are powerful now.

Breathe deep and live well. Press leaves to glass to absorb the sun and moon, keep them to remember.

Tell secrets, uncover legends, make myths.

2

Mythology Meme -> Relationships -> Orestes & Pylades

Orestes was the son of Agamemnon and Clytemnestra. He was still a child when Agamemnon sailed off to fight in the Trojan War and Clytemnestra took a lover, Aegisthus. For his own safety, Orestes was sent to live with his father’s old friend King Strophius of Phocis. 

Strophius raised Orestes with his own son, Pylades, and the two boys became close friends. When Agamemnon returned home, he was murdered by his wife and her lover. Years later, with support from Pylades, Orestes killed Clytemnestra and Aegisthus to avenge his father’s death.

The intense relationship between Orestes and Pylades was presented by some Greek writers as romantic. Pylades proved his loyalty in deeds by traveling with Orestes to share his troubles caused by persecution for his mother’s death. In turn, Orestes showed his devotion by his willingness to die in his friend’s place and declaring Pylades’ life as precious to him as his own.