I have always had trouble with my weight. I was 90 pounds when I was only 8, and luckily thinned out naturally during puberty. When I was 16, I weighed 130 pounds, and dropped to 120 after dating a really mean boyfriend. When I was 20, I was at 140 pounds. After a really tough breakup (my fiance left me because I didn’t want babies until I was done with all my schooling), I dropped 10 pounds. A few months after that, I went from 130 to 120 because I starved myself for a week, because I am really melodramatic and wanted an ex boyfriend to see that he was causing me to waste away.
However, at 120 pounds, I felt great, unstoppable, sexy. It was my dream weight, even though many of my friends commented on how my boobs looked smaller (still a DD), and that I looked too skinny. Well, in medical school, I gained it all back and am currently 150, which is the heaviest I’ve ever been.
I finally fought my laziness and dropped all of my excuses. I’ve been using myfitnesspal.com to track all of my calories and I got a fitbit to track my steps. I’ve been eating a primarily raw diet, but I still allow myself 1250 calories a day and eat back my calories after working out. I’ve lost about 1.8 pounds in two weeks, which HELL YEAH, I’m proud about.
I understand that it’s a slow and steady process. I know that not only will I get back to a healthier weight, but I will end up being stronger, more healthy, actually have endurance. If I were attacked, I could defend myself (to an extent).
I’ve been through my ups and downs, my bad habits, and I see some friends that concern me. One is a dancer and was 115 pounds and 5’7” yet she pushed to lose more. Another is a friend from high school who was in the 160s, she’s lost 26 pounds in not even a month. She complains about money on the daily, and I know that she is losing weight through starvation.
I try to counsel her through innocent comments, “Unfortunately, white scars are permanent. There might be ways to minimize them, but they are essentially there. Stretch marks usually occur from rapid weight gain/loss, unfortunately. I also hope you aren’t just starving yourself to lose weight (yes, that includes 1 meal a day). Other than that, congratulations sexy lady!!” But I don’t think I’ll get through to her, even though I’ve been in her position, as well.
I suppose to sum it up, even though I am not the poster child of health, it just concerns me when I see my own friends doing damage to their body without realizing it. I wish there were something I could do or say, although unfortunately, that won’t be the case. Therefore, I must just sit back and watch. I suppose I’ll continue to throw in my knowledge here or there, even though I know it will be disregarded.
Here’s to being healthy, not skinny. I, out of anyone, should know that there is such thing as a skinny fat! Haha.