My roommate has been supportive to my face but Ifound out that she
secretly resents my illness. i talk to her a lot because she’s so
willing to listen but it turns out that she doesn’t want to hear about
it and only listens bc that’s what friends are ‘supposed’ to do. i don’t
want to be an obligation i feel like such a burden! I don’t have money
for membership, but i’ve followed some tumblr blogs and messaging you
has been helpful, thanks. I’ll be sure to talk to my doc about my meds.
pt 2 Ren
I’m so glad your friends (well, for the most part) have been so supportive! :D Regarding your best friend’s attitude about it, perhaps it is just that he realizes that a diagnosis doesn’t change who you are, and you’re still the same best friend he had before you found out? That’s not to say that your response to it is inappropriate—I just wondered if perhaps he wanted to help you stay calm, because he does have experience with loved ones having schizophrenia. Now, if it’s upsetting you that he’s responding this way, I would probably suggest talking with him and letting him know, “Hey, this is really big news to me and it’s kind of freaking me out. I know your parents both have schizophrenia, so I understand the background you’re coming from, but this is new to me and it’s kind of scary.”
Though if his response doesn’t bother you, I’d just throw in here that I like having someone to laugh about it with. I like joking around about my mental health with IT Guy. Finding humor in it feels good. And sometimes his “You have schizophrenia, so what?” approach is helpful because it’s kind of a reminder that you’re still the same person you were and your life is not over just because you have this illness. That doesn’t mean it’s wrong for you to be upset—you have every right to be, and sometimes you need your friend to be serious about it. I only mean that, in my experience, sometimes that reminder is very helpful.
I hate that things are so uncomfortable with your roommate, though. That’s kind of unfair to you in my opinion. I don’t think you’re a burden at all! I think that maybe she just doesn’t fully understand it? Regardless, if that’s how she feels about it, it’s going to be uncomfortable for both of you to discuss it, so perhaps talking to other friends is better for you. It just occurred to me that you could also write in a journal to help you vent, if that helps too.
I’m glad to have been helpful for you! :) Best of luck talking to your doctor, too!