Fluffy Jily Halloween proposal fluff. That’s it. That’s the summary.

            James pulled Lily’s hand forward eagerly. “Keep your eyes closed, Lily. No cheating!” He called back at his girlfriend, practically skipping with anticipation.

            “This better not be a prank, James,” Lily grumbled, although her eyes were closed indulgently. “One, Halloween is far too predictable for you and I have high expectations for your pranks. Two, I don’t take kindly to being tricked on our anniversary. Three, I’m not in the mood after hearing Moody and Emmeline fight for two whole hours over who gets to go on the Ministry mission. That Order meeting was awful.”

            “Okay, forget about the Order for a moment, alright?” James said firmly. “And it’s a surprise. Think about things you love, okay? Like Charms. The Holyhead Harpies. Me.”  He stopped. “Here we are. Open your eyes.”

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one of my biggest pet peeves in fanfiction is when two male characters who (as made clear by the fanfic) have had no previous experience with dick just suddenly know how to do the buttsex and have lube lying around like okay i expect that in gay porn but i have higher standards for my fanfiction

anonymous said:

cs prompt: emma takes killian skydiving (lots of fluff)

"I do what now?!" Killian asked, glancing out the open door to the plane.

"You jump!" Emma said, pulling on her parachute.

"Bloody hell, Swan. Are you trying to kill me?" He asked, glancing down and seeing how far up they was. 

"No, you pull this here and the parachute will open causing you to fall slowly to the ground." She explained.

"And if it doesn’t come out."

"You die. Now come on." She told him, leaping out of the plane.

"Swan!" He yelled not even thinking about it jumped after her.

When the two hit the ground, Killian pulled Emma into his arms. “You have the weirdest and kind of deadly hobbies. But I love you anyways.”

Emma smiled. “I love you too, pirate.”

My Kind of Oxytocin

(( For ask-hitman-jones. I told you I would deliver. Warning: Some description of gore and some violence. ))

Being an omega had always been one of Alfred’s favorite tools.

It wasn’t that he played it up for other people, because he honestly didn’t care to. They just took his unassuming smile for what it was, a few even laughing with amusement when he brandished a weapon, as though it must clearly be fake or some kind of adorable joke because, by nature, he obviously couldn’t hurt them. That just wasn’t very omega-like at all.

Of course, when their blood ran thick and red, sticky and oozing, alphas of all sorts would stumble back, scandalized, a look of absolute horror on their faces as they realized that there was a very real possibility that they would be recounted as one of the unlucky ones whom had died by the hands of an omega. Sometimes that emotion seemed even more prominent than their fear of death. They were truly and utterly embarrassed.

Alfred didn’t care.

It didn’t particularly disgust him, nor did he find some kind of righteous glee in taking their lives, teasing out their deaths or making it short and quick—whatever he fancied at the moment. He did, however, take great joy in their crushed, bitter looks, their failed posturing, and their wet gasps as they shuddered and fell silent. He liked his job.

Omegas were supposed to bring life into the world, not end it.

And yet, somehow, he suddenly found himself in a strange situation where he was doing both.

The pregnancy test read positive.

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obsidiancoeur said:

Cheiloproclitic or Mamihlapinatapei (your choice!), Femshep/Garrus :)

Kissing Turians

Summary: Garrus Vakarian never actually thought about kissing turians, until Shepard mentioned it.

But after that? It’s all he can think about. (T)

The first time he thinks about kissing Shepard, it is because Shepard herself puts the thought into his head.

Kissing turians, Shepard says. Kissing turians.

And his mind promptly explores, because he doesn’t know what kind of comment Ashley could have possibly made to bring that topic up.

Kissing turians.

He actually has to duck underneath the Mako when Shepard moves on, so she doesn’t see the huge swath of blue spreading across his neck.

Kissing turians.

Under the Mako, he indulges in thought – what would it be like? Her mouth is just…different. Odd. There’s…pink bits, puffy ones, and they move when she talks. Lips. He thinks. They’re called lips. Asari have them.

Turians don’t, but he’s heard stories of what asari can do with them. Kisses and …more.

Kissing turians.

His mandibles flare out in what would be a downright lecherous grin if he wasn’t stuck underneath 50 tons of metal with absolutely no way to relieve the tension rocketing through his veins.

Naturally, that’s the moment that Shepard arrives.

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Glenn likes to think he knows Daryl Dixon the best. He was the first to befriend the redneck when he stumbled into the camp behind the shoulder of Merle. It started with mutual disgust for a walker they encountered, then moved onto shared runs and small talk. Daryl used to say that the pizza boy was, beside his brother, the only person in the group he could stand. So yeah, Glenn Rhee knew Daryl best. So obviously, Glenn Rhee knew exactly when Daryl Dixon fell in love.

When they reached the prison, he watched the redneck around them. The ducking of the head, the stolen glances, the shuffled feet. Daryl was a stern man, not a pussy. He held himself high and independant, never shying from anything. Except them.

Daryl Dixon fell in love slowly, that Glenn could see. It started on the farm, when Sophia when missing. He tried so hard, that poor man, to find that girl. After all, he owed them. Perhaps moving away to the edge of the camp gave him space to breathe, away from them.

Glenn wasn’t there when Daryl lost them at the prison, but he could guess how he was. Empty, mourning, dull. It made sense, for when Glenn saw Daryl again, bruised and bloody in Terminus, the dark circles under his eyes were not soley from punches. Exhaustion, fear, hope, all their own bag. Daryl Dixon was even more in love, and his love was nowhere to be found.

Glenn could be compared to Daryl in a few ways. Solitary ways, moral views, fierce protection of the ones they loved. Glenn loves Daryl, Daryl loves Glenn. It’s always been that way - but in a friend way. Daryl could drag Glenn out of a walkers jaws and Glenn could drag Daryl from emotions cold fingers.

Sometimes he wonders if the others know Daryl’s in love. They knew Glenn was in love. He’d move around Maggie bashfully, ducking his head and stealing glances. He valued her opinion above alls, and vise verse. Gentle touches were placed when it wasn’t necessary - he didn’t need to touch her arm, but he wanted too. So if they could see how Glenn Rhee was so in love with Maggie Greene, how could they not see that Daryl Dixon was so in love with Rick Grimes?

People are ignorant and blind, he decides.

She stares, transfixed, as the blood runs down his fingers and begins to pool in his palm. He holds the hand up to her lips in offering, and she tears her eyes away from the blood to study his face. He is smiling softly. “Go on Luce, I didn’t cut them for nothing.” [Vamp AU] [NaLu] [Rated M]

(Same thing as “Ignite” … posting so the tumblr peeps can get updates. Stay tuned for a Halloween themed chapter tomorrow!)

ToX2 one-shot, Julius+Rideaux, pre-canon


The beast lunged toward him.

Julius blocked its enormous claws with his dual blades, his chromatus-enhanced body straining under the force of the blow. He understood now why so many agents had been lost in this fractured dimension; this monster was one of the most powerful divergence catalysts he had encountered thus far. His arms shook as he struggled to keep the claws from digging into his flesh - inch by inch, they grew closer, until he felt a trickle of pain as they punctured his skin.

Damn it! Where’s that bastard?

As if responding to his thoughts, a small reddish blur zipped through the air. A moment later, the beast stumbled back, groaning in pain. Three scalpel-shaped blades jutted from its side, a sickly bluish fluid leaking from the wound.

“Took you long enough, Rideaux!”

The man in question dashed in without a reply, his figure a blur thanks to his chromatus’ inhuman speed. Rideaux clashed against the monster, repeatedly slashing its face with his blades. The creature growled for a moment, but instead of faltering, it leaped at the attacker. Just barely, Rideaux managed to avoid the charge, falling back next to Julius while the colossal beast tumbled forward.

“You’re not going to be able to damage it, Rideaux,” Julius muttered, observing the monster as it regained its balance. Rideaux’s chromatus granted him incredible speed, but its physical strength was lacking, possibly due to his unusual choice of weapons.

“So what do you suggest, genius? That I serve as bait while you oh-so-heroically slay the beast?” The edge in his voice made it clear how he felt about the possibility.

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Crazy, Stupid Love

Summary: Lydia gets paired up with Stiles for seven minutes in heaven on the one night she was trying to avoid him and the rest of the pack all together. Feelings bubble to the surface and things get messy. Random drabble set somewhere post-3B.

Genre: Romance/Angst/Fluff/Borderline Smutty

Rating: M

A/N: I don’t condone drinking and driving in any way. ALSO it’s my five year fanfiction anniversary! Yay! So I thought I’d post something. I’ve written something else I hoped would be done in time for today, but I ran out of time, my laptop crashed, I got really sick, etc. so it got delayed so it’s COMING but for now enjoy this random drabble that probably isn’t nearly worth the month long wait it’s been since I last posted something! Love you guys xo. Thanks for making the last five years so memorable and special.

It was another dumb sophomore party that Lydia was really wondering why she had bothered attending. After all, she always threw the best parties. Why was she attempting to have a good time at some idiotic jock’s party, especially when it wasn’t the prime sport at Beacon Hills High?

Well, actually, she knew why. She wouldn’t have to pay for the liquor she planned on consuming, and, as far as she knew, none of the pack was coming. She needed a break from all things supernatural, all the destruction that went with it, and frankly her friends and their cutesy relationships.

Not to say she wasn’t happy for them. She was. Scott and Kira were adorable together, and Stiles and Malia… She was happy for them! That’s what mattered. They all deserved to be happy with another person.

But for Lydia, who had lost her best friend and her last semi-boyfriend to a powerful demon army… she needed a break from being the fifth wheel.

She used to always lose herself in someone for the night. That was how she had dealt with Jackson moving to London, how she handled anything too stressful, and although she had grown from being that girl, tonight she wasn’t really caring that much. She wanted a breather. She wanted to be someone else tonight, and therefore, making out with a stranger didn’t sound so bad.

Things had been really hard lately. And honestly, being alone at a party where none of her supernaturally-inclined protective friends were aware of, might not be the smartest thing she had ever done. Especially with there being a twenty million dollar price tag hanging off her neck for the assassins running amuck. But Lydia didn’t care tonight. She had lost Meredith, she had lost Allison, and she had lost hope that things would be okay. She really just wanted to feel like a teenager for one night. She wanted to do something reckless and stupid.

Which is why she agreed to something as childish and stupid as spin the bottle for seven minutes in heaven.

It was only a small group of them, and it didn’t matter if you had a significant other present or landed on the same gender when you identified as heterosexual, you were to get into the not-so-spacious hall closet and get your kissing on with whoever it landed on.

Lydia was starting to regret it though, even with the alcohol warm in her veins, when her turn came around. She wasn’t really feeling like fueling the males present in a lesbian fantasy, and the guys present weren’t really doing anything for her.

She sort of knew why that was. It had been a while since her eyes had been able to stray from one in particular.

But thankfully, he wasn’t coming tonight. He likely was at home, his girlfriend either on top of him or vice versa, and the thought immediately caused bile to leap to the top of her throat. She didn’t need him anyways. He had someone else to spend his time with. He had someone else to think about before he fell asleep at night, someone else’s touch to miss, someone else’s heart to long for. Only he needn’t long for it—he already had it.

As Lydia stepped forward to spin the bottle, she mused over the idea of how unbelievable a concept it was to have someone you love feel the same way in return. It seemed like something that would happen much less often than it did.

The bottle swerved in the center and she stepped back.

It slowed to a stop, pointing to a space between people with no clear indication on which one was closer.

"Guess I’ll spin again?"

But fate would have it that a teenage boy walked through the door at that very moment, stepping directly into the line of target for the kissing contract.

"Looks like there’s no need." one of the girls said with a giggle.

Stiles Stilinski was Lydia’s new partner.

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concentrating [muke/nc17, oneshot]

clemmings, nc17/bj, superhero high school au, tw: anxiety, 2k

( not exactly based on the whole don’t stop superhero thingy but more like my excitement on the upcoming avengers movie and bc superheros sdjdsdf, also teenage high school muke fsljfdsj. also i really wanted to write something about anxiety bc this is literally what i’ve been going through since 3rd grade. it’s incredibly personal. also, my readers know me, i can’t write a oneshot without smut. so. enjoy!

"I’m going to fail, Michael, I’m going to fail, I know I will, I—"

When Luke starts freaking out, Michael usually freaks out with him. However, it is a Monday morning, the younger has a flying exam in an hour and Luke is really, really freaking out and for a reason this time. He has been failing most of his classes lately and he won’t take Ashton’s advice on relaxing, taking it easy. He has always went to his lessons - trembling all over, he also might’ve vomited once or twice before the dreaded hours of torture and he usually comes back crying.

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I messed up so bad, holy fucking shit. We had to re write a scene in a book for French class and i wanted to say the cop hugged a kid. But embrasser means kiss and i think i just gave my teacher a homoerotic fanfiction where a child is molested by a police officer help

Inadequate Soulmates AU - Part 6
Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5

Maybe it was Jack’s wishful thinking projecting itself, but he noticed Hiccup moving more easily and naturally around him, now. It had been months since they first met, and Jack’s feelings only confirmed themselves everyday.
Hiccup had been teaching him the runes and numbers for two months now, and sometimes, Jack thought he could sneak a peek at the Viking’s soul. Once or twice before, his true feelings revealed themselves through a sarcastic comment or sad remark, and Jack cherished those moments more than anything.
He told his mother and sister the same official story that had been going on in Berk: he was telling Hiccup more about the Burgess dragons in exchange for alphabetization. Knowledge for knowledge - it was only fair.
Though, in actuality, despite all the improvements that Jack saw - there wasn’t much more to their regular encounters than that.
And Jack wanted to change it so badly.
“Hey,” he said one afternoon, his legs swaying around the bench he occupied in the forge. “How come you never smile for me?”
Hiccup kept sharpening the sword he held. “I believe no one should be forced to take any sort of action for anyone at all.”
Jack huffed. He could never win with Hiccup. “You know what I meant. I’ve seen you smile a bit around your friends. Why can’t you do it around me?”
“Why is that important all of a sudden?” He frowned, turning the sword around so he could get both sides.
“I don’t know, I just…I was thinking how much I love you and how often you make me smile, and then I thought ‘hmm it’s been all this time and no sign of him changing his feelings’ but then I thought hey, ‘at least he smiles for me too’ until I realized that not even that is true.”
“You talk too much, did you know that?” Hiccup did his best to ignore his soulmate.
“It’s just…weird. You’re supposed to be in love with me by now. Also don’t think I forgot when we met and you gave me that stupidly cute grin.”
Hiccup almost let the sword fall off his hands, which would’ve been catastrophic since it was still sharpening. He could lose a hand or something.
“Uh-oh,” Jack muttered when Hiccup came over, glaring.
“A stupidly what now?” Green eyes narrowed and attempted to look intimidating, even though that didn’t work on Jack anymore.
“Cute,” the boy from Burgess smiled sheepishly, glancing down. “Sorry, was that offensive to your Viking pride?”
Yes,” Hiccup hissed, taking Jack by the shoulders and shaking him lightly for good measure. “If anyone is cute here, it’s you.”
Jack bit his lip so he wouldn’t smile. “Um, that may have sounded like an insult in your head, but I’m gonna have to thank you.”
Hiccup groaned in exasperation, letting go of his unlikely friend. “You’re impossible!”
“Love you too,” he rolled his brown eyes good-naturedly. And for the next month, Jack told Hiccup he loved him every chance he got.

“What do you mean, ‘my posture’? Such a weird thing to say…”
“It’s very Prince-like, though,” Jack smiled almost flirtatiously.
“I told you before,” Hiccup sighed. “I’m not a Prince.”
“But you’re sort of one, aren’t you?” Jack frowned lightly in thought.
Hiccup rolled his eyes. “I’m almost positive it takes a bit more class to qualify.”
“You’re classy alright,” Jack hummed, eyeing the taller boy.
“Just because I’m instructed?”
Hiccup had meant it as a sarcastic remark, but he realized Jack leaned back on the counter slightly.
“Yeah… I guess you could say that,” he smiled hesitantly.
“…Sorry,” Hiccup looked away, back to measuring his sketch. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“It’s, it’s fine. You’re smart, you should flaunt it as much as you can,” Jack kept smiling almost sadly.
Hiccup heaved a sigh, making his way around the counter and kissing Jack quickly, albeit softly. He didn’t want to admit to himself just how often he thought of those lips.
Brown eyes widened hugely, and his cheeks flushed deeply.
“W-w-what…?” Jack stuttered through a response.
Hiccup blinked. “You implied you weren’t smart and that’s not true. You’re improving greatly. It’s not your fault for not having anyone teach it to you sooner.”
A new wave of warm and tingly affection hit Jack right then, and he smiled happily. Hiccup looked away, slightly embarrassed.
“What, I can’t kiss my soulmate?” He murmured, going back to his side of the counter and keeping up his work. “Fine, then.”
Jack gasped playfully. “Nonononoooo, that’s not what I said at all, Hiccup.”
“Eh?” He hummed, a little smirk playing on his lips. “That’s what it sounded like, at least to me…”
Jack huffed and muttered under his breath. Damn his love’s actually teasing, adorably mischievous side. Damn it all.
“Stop sulking and whining.”
“I’m not whiny!”
Hiccup leaned over the counter and kissed Jack again, finding it extremely amusing that he got all flustered.
“There,” green eyes twinkled a little. “You were getting annoying.”
Jack blinked, leaning over to get closer to his soulmate. “Please, do tell me how to annoy you more quickly and more often.”
“Don’t push your luck,” Hiccup raised an eyebrow, and Jack just bit his bottom lip to stop himself from smiling like a lovestruck fool.
Which was, essentially, how he felt.
This was the most comfortable he ever felt around Hiccup, and Jack was sure that the feeling was mutual. Maybe, after all these months of meeting each other and Jack’s inexperient flirting, stolen kisses here and there and moments of deep conversation… Maybe, just maybe, Hiccup was falling for him, too.
“I knew it,” a third voice entered the room, and both boys froze.
It was Astrid.


A miniseries of Halloween AU’s ranging all the way from fluff to smut and pumpkin carving to sexy costumes. Each chapter can be read as a stand alone one shot. // “Really, Miss Swan. Haunted houses are designed to frighten children.” [TRUST IN A WITCH →]

One chapter to be added every day between Monday 27 October - Friday 31 October.