I’m just imagining all the out-of-state college freshman, their first night at Cal, all excited to be sleeping in their dorms for the first time.

Yes, WELCOME TO THE BAY AREA OCCASIONALLY OUR GROUND IS NOT A RELIABLE/COMPLETELY SAFE SURFACE.

So they’re doing presidential campaigns at my college and one of the candidates was standing outside with a sign that read ‘free hugs’. So I walked up to him and while embracing whispered “heil hydra” and the look on his face was priceless.

  • professor:...for example, in Roman times, "lettuce" was part of a lot of jokes. none of you would know what that meant.
  • me:oh, I do.
  • professor:really?
  • me:lettuce was the sacred plant of Aphrodite - or Venus, as the Romans knew her. using it in a joke would have been a clever way of slipping in an innuendo.
  • professor:...that's right.
  • me:*strokes Percy Jackson's Greek Gods fondly and chuckles softly*