Monster Truck Announcer Left Jobless, Destitute After Inflation Drives Kids' Seats to Multisyllabic Prices
STURGIS, SD- When you peer into the misty grey eyes of local man Dustin Waters, a glint of sadness lurks behind the warm energy he emits with his sonorous voice. You may have heard it booming throughout the local bars and shops in Sturgis, but Waters’ signature shout is recognizable nationwide due to his longtime role as the commercial announcer for Monster Jam, the world’s largest, loudest, and lewdest monster truck tour. It’s a role that has come to define Dustin Waters, and it’s a role he sorely misses.
"Monster Jam is the best thing that ever happened to me," Dustin sighed. "I was the voice of Monster Jam for over twenty years. I eat, sleep and breathe monster trucks. Gravedigger was the best man at my wedding," he continued. "But it’s all gone, and it’s never coming back."
How could the company have parted ways with its longtime spokesman? The answer, as too many Americans know all too well, lies in the economic downturn.
"They wanted to keep me. They really did," the grizzled man said as tears welled in his eyes. "When prices for kids seats started creeping up, they skipped directly from ten bucks to twelve bucks just to keep the magic going a little longer. But by then it was already too late." His fists clenched. “‘Kids’ seats are just twenty seven bucks’ just doesn’t cut the damn mustard."
Dustin Waters doesn’t know where to turn anymore. His heart is still in announcing, but his passion for anything will never match his love for monster trucks. As fewer and fewer options have become available, he’s been forced to return to the commercial studio just to make ends meet.
"I’ve tried announcing for just about everything," he said with sagging shoulders. "I even went over to Japan to do some monster truck spots, but ‘The glorious and venerable Aoyaki Metals Company presents Powerful Monster Truck Warriors Machine Combat Spectacular.’ doesn’t hold a damn candle to Monster Jam." Dustin buried his face in his hands. "Kids seats are just ten thousand yen."