Imagine that at the end of Dumbledore’s speech at the beginning of the year, he asks if there are any questions, and one first year muggleborn kid raises his hand, whips out a smart phone and asks for the wifi password.

And then Dumbledore just casually says “Sherbet lemon, with a capital S”, and commences the feast like it’s no big deal while the non-muggleborns think WIFI is some sort of secret society.

Okay, muggleborn headcannons are adorable. But can we take a moment to appreciate their poor parents?

  • Desperately trying to find a book about how to raise your kid who is all of a sudden a witch/wizard.
  • Trying to explain to the neighbors why your kid suddenly has an owl/toad for a pet and spends an excessive amount of time polishing that ancient broom out on the back porch.
  • Debating if it’s better to try and wash robes in the sink or just risk taking them to the laundromat.
  • Having to clean out their trunks when they get home from school because Merlin knows what the hell you will find in there.
  • Trying to keep any younger siblings from telling random strangers on the street that their big brother/sister is a wizard/witch.
  • Showing up to Diagon Alley for the first time and holy shit what the hell is all of this honey please make a friend with witch/wizard parents so they can tell us what to do.
  • Galleons? Knuts?
  • Trying to explain to grandparents/aunts/uncles/cousins why they can’t attend visitors day at the child’s new boarding school.
  • Having to come up with a whole new system of rules to deal with anything magical.
  • Standing awkwardly outside platform 9 ¾ and waiting for another wizarding family to show them what to do.
  • Learning that the main wizard sport, which your child is determined to participate in, involves riding around on a thin little stick a hundred or more feet in the air while moving at excessive speeds.
  • Getting letters from your kid after their first night demanding you come pick them up because there is no wifi and THEY SAID IF WE WENT TO THE FOURTH FLOOR WE WOULD DIE.

Seriously. Muggle Parents of Witches/Wizards are adorable. I just have this picture of them rushing out to Diagon Alley after the representative from whatever school visits them to tell them about their kid and they just buy every book they can get their hands on to figure out what the hell they’re supposed to do now.

Imagine the Hogwarts staff trying to convince muggleborns of magic in the year 2014.
  • Pureblood:This is an enchanted portrait.
  • Muggleborn:Looks like a telly to me...
  • Pureblood:We can also animate your photographs.
  • Muggleborn:Like a gif?
  • Pureblood:Why do people keep saying that!? What does that even mean!?
  • Muggleborn:Sorry, sorry! How silly of me. Clearly magic. *elbows other muggleborn friend and winks*
  • Pureblood:It is magic damnit!!!

Okay but imagine Ravenclaw muggleborns taking Muggle Studies because based on the name they think it’s what Muggle children learn in schools and they go in absolutely mortified, not over the fact that the class makes it seem like muggles struggle to survive without magic but because oh my god we are never going to learn algebra that is a basic math skill

What if the students of Hogwarts who are running late to class figured out how to make the stair cases into slides so they can get to classes faster.

The spell catches on like wild fire and students ride down the stairs on pillows. Muggleborn students using it on the changing stair cases and yelling parkour as they have to jump to land on the platform or stairs nearby. A student doing it in the stair case with the sinking step and getting stuck head first.

Muggleborn wizard kid with a night fury Patronus. And when he uses the spell in class his best friend shouts ‘Night fury! Get down!’ and the other muggleborns duck underneath their desks and the other students are trying to understand what is happening and the teacher is just wondering what kind of dragon that is.